Two Year Old's Lament

Two-Year-Old’s Lament
Quizmo LaGrande

One of these days I’m gonna play that guitar.
When mama’s not looking I’m gonna play it so hard.
I’m gonna pluck all those strings
and turn those silvery knobs;
Stick my hand in that hole
to see what’s in there I know
There’s got to be something good,
And if there’s not, well ho ho,
I just put something wonderful for mama to show her
How much that I love her,
She’ll be so surprised;
When she sees just what I left her
She’ll get tears in her eyes.

I’ll put my…
Toys and my blocks
My tennis shoes and my socks
My peanut butter sandwich and my juice (not the cup)
I’ll put some pieces of plant
Mama’s yarn and some ants
Sister’s old blanket, and my cars, but I can’t
Get anything else in there
So I’ll just rip off these strings
Mama’ll be so happy I got rid of those things
Now I can get in one foot and hey, the other one too
Oh no, I got my po-po stuck; just what’ll I do?

But I know…
One of these days I’m gonna play that guitar
When mama’s not looking I’m gonna play it so hard
I’m gonna pluck all those strings
and turn those silvery knobs
Sing and howl at the moon
Just like a big star I’ll croon
I’ll play those great bluegrass hits
And all those sad country licks
Rock-n-roll-a-billy with the best of the hicks
Oh yeah, here comes my mama
She looks so surprised
Just as I predicted, she's got tears in her eyes.