The Gate In My Mind

I feel that something precious now has gone,
For when I am with you, I sense I am alone,
There is a gulf there that has opened wide,
I am here and you are on the other side.

I've asked for help so many times before,
You've turned away, slammed shut the door,
I believe that you just don't want to see
The truth, or have to face what is reality.

Tears to you are weak, I've come to know,
So I try very hard my feelings not to show,
But I'm not hard like you, words burst out,
Isolated, hurt, I explode, have to shout.

My anger spills and I hurt back I know,
What a way to care! Why can't we show
And give love that's needed, be sincere?
See the other hurting, say "I'm here."

It's too late, my heart's shriveled, dying,
I hate the sham, the pretending, even lying
That all is well, when inside I am screaming
Out for understanding, but that's dreaming.

So I'm walking out of the gate in my mind,
Seeking for, and perhaps I will even find,
Peace, comfort, some way to ease my pain,
If only I could change things, live life again.

For if only we'd tried harder, found the way,
You could have been the one to whom I'd say
"I know always upon you I'm able to depend
To listen to my fears, you're my best friend."

If only I had said to you that very first time
When hurt crept in and love seemed out of rhyme,
"Love is not enough, I really have to go,"
If only are the saddest words I know.