Torture

He smiles at me,
Says “hey.”
I smile back.
When really I’m tortured.
I want to like him,
but I can’t.
It wouldn’t be right,
not fair.
He’s too young,
but it’s just three years.
No, he’s still a kid.
Regardless of age,
there is a connection.
I think he feels it too.
Maybe he doesn’t.
I’ve been wrong before,
so many times.
I just want to be right,
for once.
But I don’t think I’m right,
not about him.
I won’t feel anything,
I can’t,
I shouldn’t,
but I know I will.
It will end like it always does,
in heartbreak.