Got Milk?

"Wake up daddy!"

"Huh? Mmm uhn. Oh, good morning Billy."

"Happy Fadder's day, daddy!"

"Oh, yeah. Thanks, Sport."

"I twied to make bweakfest."

"You tried?"

"Ya. I maded Cheewy Os, but ders no milk. Sowwy."

"Oh... uh, thanks Billy."

"I twied to get milk, but I could'n."

"You didn't go to the store alone again, did you Billy? You know..."

"Oh, no, daddy! I not awowded to go awone. You an mommy said..."

"Yeah, yeah, that's right. Well, no milk is alright. A little dry cereal is just what I need to start the day."

"Da man said he could'n give me a wide to da store."

"What man? You asked a man to take you to the store for milk?"

"A man at da pawk, daddy. He was in a car wight der by the pwaygwound."

"Billy! We've told you about talking to strangers..."

"I askded him, but he said no. He said it would, um, be, um, a 'viowation of his pawole'."

"WHAT?"

"Wat's a 'pawole' daddy?"

"Oh, Billy. It's a... well, it's a grownup thing. Just stay away from strangers, ok?"

"I had anoder idea for milk daddy. But it did'n work eider."

"I'm afraid to ask..."

"You get milk from a cow, right, daddy?"

"Yes... but, Billy, we don't have any cows around here."

"Mista Thompson, he got a cow. I seen it."

"Yes, and you know you're not allowed to go there. Not to ride his pony or rope his chickens or wash his pigs..."

"But dey was muddy."

"... and certainly not to milk his cows. I swear, if they issued restraining orders to four year olds..."

"I did'n go, daddy."

"Good. I know you mean well, Billy, but..."

"I was afwaid da cow would bite me."

"Billy! Oh my god! Is that a bite on your hand?"

"Ya. It huwts a widdle bit."

"Let me see that. Billy.... how?"

"I twied pwactice milking first."

"Practice? How?"

"On that new doggie... acwoss da stweet."

"Miller's dog?"

"Ya."

"Billy. You can't really milk a dog... Wait a minute. Miller's dog is a boy dog."

"He don't like to be milkded."

"Sweet Jesus!"

"He bited my hand."

"Get your shoes on, Billy. We're going to visit Dr. Mitchell... again."

"After dat, we gonna spend da whole day togedder, wight daddy?"

"Yes, Billy. God help me."

"Sowwy about da milk, daddy."

"Forget the milk. I need something stronger today anyway."

This dialogue now has a sequel: "Milk Dog" . Enjoy!