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| It's always a great time for introspection on the last night of the year. What made you happy in 2020 and what made you sad in 2020? I think a lot of people will find it easier to think of the sad part. For me it was watching my father pass away. I knew it was coming. I was sitting there waiting for it to happen. There was a long time between breaths. A respiratory therapist came in and couldn't find a heartbeat. She was very calm about it. I couldn't respond to her. Within minutes 5 nurses were there checking. When someone looked to the charge nurse for confirmation, and she nodded, I teared up. But I thought I had it under control. Suddenly, one of those young nurses bent over to hug me tightly and I lost it. I boohooed out loud and held her back (despite COVID risks). I don't remember what anyone said, though I know the gist of it. For a few minutes I was engulfed with sadness. Nothing can prepare you for that moment. Happy moments are harder to remember. Most of those were glimpses of the kids in my life. When the three year old just forgot himself and jumped into my lap. Watching the five year old trying to coordinate a fist bump or elbow bump with great grandpa. Just little things, fleeting moments. My church tried to find alternate means of worship to satisfy the governor's restrictions. I stayed with a very small group who did an early outdoor service, shorter than usual. Another small group did a short indoor service, spaced appropriately, with no singing (the law). It got colder, after the mosquitoes disappeared. One day it rained. I got the feeling we had rediscovered worship. We went to great lengths and discomfort to be together and pray and meditate. The outdoor group had squirrels and songbirds. The Sunday after my father died, I brought four children with me. They ran around away from us and added background noise. It almost doubled attendance. I felt a kinship to those first century Christians, before buildings and formalities encumbered the church. That's a happy outcome. |
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