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 |  This is my blog & my hope, writing daily will help me see my progress and log supporters. |
| I have worked so hard over the last week...I'm physically drained tonight. Three workouts and a bike ride every day, and to top it off, today I push mowed my lawn. A day off sounds good, but that ain't happening...nine weeks to go before I fly out to Thailand, and I intend to be in the best shape (physically and mentally) I possibly can be. Everything else is on track. I still need to secure my mom a bed in aged care in the weeks before I leave, but I'm not panicking...it's just the way it has to be. I attended my meeting on Tuesday, and it was a mixture of emotions. I couldn't say that I was over the moon that I fucked up, but I am proud of myself for not allowing it to become an excuse to fail. Vicki was proud of me for taking the steps that I have...number one...flushing what I had leftover down the toilet...number two...making myself accountable and not hiding my shame...number three...taking what happened and learning from it...and number four...paying off the dealer, so he now owes me money. Money I know he will never repay, and worth every cent to keep him away from me. I'm not kidding myself. This has taken me back to square one. I have begun all over. But, I would rather be back at the start, than where I might have been...back doing drugs every day with no future to look forward to. |
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