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 |  Day to day stuff....a memoir without order. |
| Can you feel happy and sad at the same time...over nothing? I have been experiencing this lately. I'll be sitting on my back porch (for example) looking out at the trees, shrubs, squirrels, birds, even wasps, and think how beautiful everything is and how happy I am. Then, suddenly, I feel tears come into my eyes and am so sad that Jim isn't here to see and enjoy it with me. Then, I realize I'm happy just to be here...alone...it doesn't matter. Then, I feel guilty for feeling that way. And it's not that I'm bored. There's plenty to do and normally, I keep very busy with little thought to other things, zoning in on whatever I may be doing. But when I am just sitting and thinking, sad and happy thoughts are plentiful and intrusive. |
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