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 |  Fictitious and delicious! |
| Adrian asking me to be his best man was as expected as me being selected by NASA to go on a future moon expedition. I agreed even though I'd never met Felicia in person. I'd only talked to her online for a few years at this point. Thus, I wasn't sure if things would be relaxed or if I was going to walk into a Bridezilla situation. To my relief, the wedding was a more casual affair, which lead to Felicia having a reasonable, expected amount of nerves. While we first met in person somewhere in Florida, the first time we spent a substantial amount of time in person was at her parents' place. I was over for a rather early dinner of chili. I gotta say her parents knew how to cook. The chili may have lacked in fancy ingredients but packed a flavorful punch. It could have been hotter, but that could be fixed by the hot sauce and jalapenos on the topping bar. Along with Adrian, Felicia, and her parents, I met two of her aunts on her mom's side. Thanks to them, I realized that Felicia had no time to throw tantrums over the bridesmaid dresses being the wrong color when she had to talk some of her relatives out of seemingly traditional public nudity during the reception. Nice to be kept abreast of these developments. In truth, her family kept giving me all sorts of opportunities to crack jokes. Her mom even said, "Damn, Walter. You just keep 'em coming!" The linner (as Adrian called it) also gave me some insight on what to expect the day before the wedding. That day ended up being quite an adventure. Adrian and Felicia met me at my hotel, and we first set off to West Palm Beach to pick up Drew (the other bridesmaid) from the airport. The four of us grabbed breakfasts fit to give us heart attacks before hitting up a nearby water park for the combined bachelor/bachelorette party. Since none of their friends were coming down to Florida for the wedding, it really ended up being most of the bridal party only. The maid of honor (one of Felicia's aunts) opted not to tag along. Sure, she could have done like I did and just floated around the lazy river a few times before snagging a lounge chair. It was a good vantage point for me to hear about what the others did. The three of them at one point went on an enclosed slide with a funnel somewhere in the middle. That got a big "Hell, no" from me. Felicia had even remarked that a sign for the ride said to observe it in motion. Given that even the funnel was enclosed, she wondered how observing the ride would be possible without X-Ray vision. That's a fair point. After we all finished getting waterlogged, we stopped back at the hotel so I could help Drew get settled into the room we'd be sharing for a night and Felicia and Adrian could get their car. We all met up again at Felicia's parents place for a huge pre-wedding barbecue. With a few exceptions, everyone that would be at the wedding attended the barbecue/pool party. To my surprise, Felicia and Adrian spent quite a bit of time in the pool even after being at the water park for a few hours. The laidback nature of the festivities didn't end there. The wedding itself proved to be an emotional but still quiet affair. Felicia and Adrian kept the outdoor ceremony short in deference to the near 100 degree heat indices the morning brought. I know that keeping cool even in a white shirt and khakis was a somewhat tall order. Felicia read a poem for Adrian during the ceremony, a move that caught be by surprised even though it was discussed in the semi-aborted wedding rehearsal. I managed not to lose the rings at any point even with holding onto Adrian's other necktie. Seeing them change wedding accessories into a blend of their favorite colors was a refreshing take on a unity ritual. The families and bridal party sweated through several rounds of portraits, although I was able to get to the reception a bit earlier to cool off with air conditioning and mimosas. The way Adrian tells it, they almost had to beg the photographer to end the couples' portraits early so they didn't die of heat stroke. From there, let the party begin! I'd manage to sneak a couple slices of bread I toasted at the hotel and had them at the ready for my speech. I can still see Felicia tilting her head back in laughter at this. I also got to stuff my face with wedding cake that was made more with taste in mind than looks (although the fake brain coral on top one of the cakes was quite inspired). I wish more weddings were like this. Hopefully it won't take Adrian and Felicia divorcing to make this happen. Entry 5 in "The Bard's Hall Contest"  June 2022 |
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