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NO more humor... just more tragic, sad, sick, twisted goings ons - Sorry |
| I mentioned back a few entries ago that I'd had a major coronary (heart attack) on January 1st, 2007. Well the hospital bill has just arrived - $95,331.25. $95,331.25 And the above dollar figure does not include any of the multiple doctors who passed my way during those 7 days in critical care, and the 3 days I spent in Telemetry. (Actually, I think the hospital uses the $25.00 word "Telemetry" just so they can charge more for what use to be merely a private room while a body needs to be in a hospital.) Room and board alone in Critical Care was over ten thousand dollars ($10,710.00 to be exact) - and the food sucked what little of it there was. (On the 4th day one of the doctor's ordered a feeding tube to be installed.) The bed in the Critical Care Unit was way cool, but I was knocked out the first 4 days- and it took the doctors 3 more days to decide it was time to take me off the ventilator. Today is January 27th, 2007... I've been off the ventilator now for 17 days, and my voice still sounds nothing like my voice. I have doubts my voice will ever return to its pre-coronary status. Damn!!! But let me clear, I don't know if what life I have left is worth leaving my husband bankrupt. Living is not nearly as expensive as being sick... straight up, regular dying instantly isn't as expensive as being sick either... I'M JUST BLESSED - NOT! But the medical bills I'm receiving are causing me to ask, "Just how much is my life worth?" Some would say that I'm lucky because I've got health insurance - HEALTH INSURANCE is not SICK & DYING INSURANCE - and with the fuzzy math employed by Health Insurance Companies we'll be lucky if our Health Insurance covers 80 percent of all the medical bills. The heart doctors say I've got 2 more heart blockages that need to be unblocked. These guys make their living unblocking heart blockages - living or dying is still a gamble CAUSE they are going to bill you regardless if you live or die. Damn! They don't give refunds or discounts in the event of death. Doctors and hospitals have a symbiotic relationship and patients are what each feed upon - dead or alive unmercifully. Imagine a world of healthy people - where would that leave doctors and hospitals? In the meantime, I'm trying to set things up so when I do die, and we all do die, it will be easier on my husband - emotionally and financially. I just don't believe I want to leave the man bankrupt. My daughter is quite upset with me. According to my daughter, she says normal people don't lay in the hospital worrying about if they can pay the bills. I don't actually remember but again according to my daughter she said one of the first things I asked, when I finally regained a semblance of conscienceness, and was able to speak in a raspy voice was "How much is this going to cost?" I've always been hyper-aware of how much things costs. I think I became hyper-aware from my childhood experiences when my father was extremely broke... we lived in Jackson, TN and there were days daddy would drive my brothers and I by one of the popular restaurants, whose food perfumed the air, and daddy would say "Take a deep breath kids - there goes your supper." Daddy was hardly kidding - times only seemed hard then to the adults in my life - my brothers and I still feel like we had a splendid childhood - I've had doctors tell me I have selective memory. Selective memory my arse - today nobody lets you forget a damn thing - especially when it pertains to money. Anyway, the blood sucking doctors have scheduled medical tests on January 31st, 2007. I'm popping nitroglycerin pills like they're M&M's... and as much as I'd really like my life to continue - I'm just not convinced I'm worth it - financially speaking. |
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