Evolution of Love 2

Bhagwan

Our friends arranged for us to stay in Kashmir to avoid the hot season although my husband wanted to come straight to the Ashram. Since the time he was a school-boy he was interested in spirituality. It was he who brought me to it. After a few months, the British High Commissioner said women and children shouldn’t go back to Siam as the war was getting serious. My husband went back to his post and we were offered a house here. I was then able to meet Bhagavan. I had some preconceived ideas, but when I saw him… oh!… everything fell away. His eyes were transparent, looking through you. When you sat with him there was a feeling of oneness — everything is one, is one, is one!

Was he speaking in those days?
Yes, of course — I spoke with him — I used to show him my letters. My children were the first Western children who came here. They were made a tremendous fuss of. Since that meeting, all my interest in sculpture fell away — no longer important. So that’s how it started.

We all ask ourselves why we are here, what’s the purpose of life? I found from the beginning you get all the answers here — in fact, you don’t have to ask any questions. By sitting in Bhagavan’s presence everything was resolved. When I came I knew the most important thing is to find out who you really are. Those who are sincere get glimpses of that state and they know. From that, the striving to make the experience steady starts.

In Bhagavan’s presence, the silence was so powerful: it was the most potent teaching. Words — he used to say — are diffused silence. So, bathed in that silence you were, so to say, out of yourself. All your cares were thrown among the lilies, to use a beautiful expression. That was sadhana. You know, after he passed away people thought we would become desolate. Nothing of the sort! To my surprise I was walking on air: there was a feeling of elation. Do you know why? Suddenly you realized he is the inner guru dwelling in the heart, ever-present. He had said: I’m not going anywhere, where can I go?

Since then you can feel his presence more than ever. That’s why people come here more and more. They experience that radiation. And you only have to tell him something in the heart to get help, no matter what it is.