SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days

To Revision Writing Or Bang My Head On A Wall

I think if anyone cared to know me, they'd learn I'm my own harshest critic. I've had people respond to my reviews like they were stung sometimes, and I think 'you have no idea,' because I'm way worse with myself.

I'll reread my old works, some that I'd fallen in love with rather than viewing their merit. I'd shake my head; I'd cringe. Sometimes, I see what I'd do differently. Other times, the trash can is more deserving. Unfortunately, I hold on to everything. But, in my defense, seldom reread the stinkers.

I look at my old poetry and see the merits and a person developing as a writer. I have greater insight and knowledge as the greatest authority of what I'm trying to do, convey. Though, even I sometimes stump myself. I leave notes now on what inspired works. It helps me and readers see what perspective or aim I'm coming from/trying to achieve.

It still surprises when I've reviewed someone that I gave great feedback and they respond defensively, or not at all. No one is trying to crush anyone's spirits. I think the reviewers who flatter and hand out fives like high-fives miss the point of helping other writers. Without honesty, a writer can become smug, stagnant. Writers might mail it in like it's another day as Hemingway. I've been there. Fortunately, I saw through the deceit of false flattery.

And isn't that the true aim? Just keep people writing, participating and letting their average to below work thrive over the efforts of hard-working, honest writers who might show their disdain in ways that they wish they hadn't, instead of seeking a higher road. I'm not saying many here do this, but some predominately review lesser works with flattery, ignore good works because they fear approach or don't want to embrace writing that might shadow the others.

It's the nature of writing on the internet. Someone said it's just different personal tastes. Yes, I've enjoyed greeting card poetry, but no one is looking for greeting card writers here either. No one is looking at this site period to find the next great writer. Just accept we're in a wasteland playing some kind of social game of how much cryto currency you can spread around to appease another. I fear the raffles, auctions and other events that require crypto this or that takes precedence over real writing. I fear the crowd that accumulates here on dabbles in crafting a few ditties and jumping onto the review boards to earn other recognition.

I immersed myself in reviewing last year and got a Quill nom for it. I quit in October. I think some people who could self-improve have other motives that actual writing here and I realized I was wasting my time trying to be some kind of mover and shaker who was going to inspire others. So, I shut it down.

I write a thing or two. My meds basically shut me down last year and still do. My love of anything is essentially dulled in the name of sanity.

I start out writing something enlightening about my process as a poet and it spirals out here. I could blame myself for my feelings. I'm just disappointed is all.

5.18.21