Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋

The Unpinning

The Unpinning

I'm going to tell you why I don't need your love
and then turn
as if
to someone else for a hug
and remember why I'm alone,

why I slumber in a blanket fort of dreams
constructed in my child mind,
clinging like those clothes pins
to innocence
since you dragged me out,
asked me to play,
taught me your games,
told me I played wrong.

You told me I let you down when we lost,
bluntly told everything
that was wrong with me,
then treated me indifferently
when you had other friends,
sending me to solitude

to think what I had done decades long,
forcing others to experience my pain,
relived again and again
with every grubby face
evilly staring back.

how to purge this hatred you taught me,
how to live in a fortress
with someone who'll help me take down the pins,
fold and store the bedding neatly,
sparing a few to sleep on
and dream
like I did when I was a kid.

but as a grown man, I only see forward
a grave
and no flowers,
because you killed everything that blooms.


11.7.21
4.9.23

finding myself and not blaming me, or others, but the cruel, vicious life cycle I wasn't prepared for.
to say I have a new tormentor is erroneous. but, say I discovered the truth about mean kids and how they set out to destroy you, thinking it would make them bigger people for swallowing innocent souls. My soul has long since been taken, succubus...succubi?