Life as we know it sucks

Confusion sets in

Current mood: annoyed, frustrated

Current Song: Tomorrow - Silverchair



I must have messed everything up now. My confusion is running away with me. Jacob read all my crap, including the thing I wrote on 12-31, about the us an official US crap. Holy shit! I forgot that was in there. He thought it was all so sweet, though. He was like, "I wish we could, but it doesn't seem like a good idea right now." Well, I know that. But all these crazy Carpe Diem signs and his name popping up everywhere - I know it's pushing me towards giving it a chance. I should...Because it feels so right. Nothing have I ever been so sure of before this. I've never felt this before. I've never been in love, thus the feelings I experience are crazy and upredictable and have the tendency to do wild things causing me to say moronic things. <sigh>

I'm so perplexed. What do I do now? Just NOT give it a chance; sit back and stay friends or jump in, "seize the day," give it a chance? God help me please! I am so confused and I don't know what to do! Ahhhh! Just kill me or tell me what to do! God, please! I don't know how to handle this stuff or deal with it. I shouldn't worry. Just let it run its course. What happens, happens. Let it be, Hilary. Just let it be...God help me not to worry so much.