Life as we know it sucks

Head hurts like a bitch.

Current mood: pissed

Current song: Understanding in a car crash - Thursday

I want to talk to Jacob. I need to talk to Jacob. I covet him. I wish I could receive the same affections from him as Kelly gets. I konw it is not the same treatment. He treats her like a goddess. I am merely a mortal. No fancy Greek goddess, such as Aphrodite. I am me. The stupid loser girl no one but unobtainable guys want.

I was talking to my friend, Steve from Indiana.
My out of state friends are the ones I am closer to, if you can believe that. Ha. That seems wrong somehow. Well, he was being...odd. He was saying that he was kissing me and...caressing me, I suppose. He's so weird. I don't know what was wrong with him. lol. He finds no attraction in me. I know that much. So, don't get your hopes up. He's 20! But it doesn't matter. Jacob feels something for me, the hell I know what it is or how strong it is. <sigh> I'm so confused. And I would hate it if Jakey took my confusion to offense. My confusion is unstoppable. I will always be confused.

I love Jakey. I needn't question that. Never shall I. But I just question my stupid uncontrollable thoughts that wander into my mind. And I hate myself for them, because they get me into trouble.