Life as we know it sucks

Why?

Current Mood: suicidal

Current Music: Why Worry? - All-American Rejects

I can't believe this is happening. I just can't believe that he'd take her back after everything she's fucking done to him. Jacob and Kelly are reconciling. And, I'm just - suicidal. So suicidal right now. Oh my God. Why is this happening? WHy does this have to happen to me? He doesn't understand that I am deeply in love with him. And he never has or will. I'm in love with someone I've never met. Does that sound stupid? Well, fuck you!

He is the only person in this world that I care so much about right now. And it's taken away from me. Everyone I've ever loved is taken from me. I mean, I like "Ben" and all - but I can't help that. I would if I could. I would do anything in my will power to get to Arkansas to see the guy I love, but it's impossible. It's crazy. I'm dumb.

I have never felt this awful before. I was unable to breathe properly for probably a half hour. this is crucial. This is the most terrible thing in the entire world. Here I was thinking that this guy is The One for me, when all he cares about is getting the girl that fucks with his head back.

I want to tell him I hate him. I want to tell him to fucking burn in hell, but I can't! I CAN'T BECAUSE I DON'T MEAN IT! I don't think I could ever mean it! Oh God, why have you forsaken me? Why have you done this to me? Why?! WHY?!

I think I'm going to kill myself. I never should have let things get this far. Never, I wish I'd never met him. I'm hopeless. I'm going to fucking murder myself and HE WON'T CARE! He'll never care because he's only interested in one thing. ONE thing. And that's Kelly. What do I have to do to get him back? My love, why are you turning your eyes from me? I can't believe this. I can't comprehend this. I can't do anything.

. . . I just want to know one thing - Why?

Power for poison a poem for every rejection...