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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/237027-Attachment
Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #594306
My life is about as interesting as the next person's.
#237027 added April 20, 2003 at 8:43pm
Restrictions: None
Attachment
Current Mood: upset

Current Music: Centerfold - J. Geils Band

Shane told me he was gonna beat his cousin up for calling me ugly. Hey, why bother? It's true! Screw everybody. I'm like really pissed off right now.

I am stupid. I am a loser. And I don't really know what Shane thinks of me. I'm getting to that point where I care again. Damnit, that sucks. That means I'm getting attached and I can't let that happen. Maybe I'll just have to avoid him. I'm not going to get hurt by him. Not by another guy. In the last year, two guys I have been deeply in love with have just ripped out my heart and I am not letting that happen again. I refuse to get attached.

I'm going to Kentucky Friday and I'm not coming back until Monday. I wonder if he'll miss me? No, why would he? Does he like me still? Am I stupid? Am I ugly? These are questions I have to know answers to. Beause I'm fucking into him too much. I've got to fucking stop. <sigh>

I miss Jacob a lot. I wish he'd quit being gay and stupid. I wish he'd be the way he used to be. I was online for 6 1/2 hours downloading music for Kady and he was on the whole time I was and we never talked. He hates me. HE HATES ME! I don't feel like going to school. I gotta get over this. I'm so depressed and upset. He just doesn't understand how much he hurt me.

 How long, how long
Will I slide
Separate my side
I don't, I don't
Believe it's bad
Slittin my throat
It's all I ever had...


--------------------------------------------
but i threw you the obvious,
just to see if there's more behind you.
eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy
but i see,
see through it all.
see through, see you



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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/237027-Attachment