Once Upon A Shadow, Deep Inside A Dream

Touch Me Not, Leave Me Be

last night I heard it,
a half burned candle I had lit,
blown out by a gust of wind,
signaling the stories end.

trembling beneath my robes with fear,
listening with a hand cupped ear,
for anything that would show,
where my guest had decided to go.

wishing he would disappear,
sweat appears like a tear.
touch me not, leave me be,
leave me for I cannot see,

slip out quietly as you came in,
free yourself from nightly sin.
daddy, daddy help me please,
if I stand I will fall to my knees,

I cannot run nor hide nor play,
just wait for night to fade away.
trembling here, alone, afraid,
wishing the man hadn't stayed.

too old to cry, too scared to shout,
mentally searching for a way out.
touch me not, leave me be,
how I long to run away from thee.

depart from the side of my bed,
take these nightmares from my head.
your breath I hear, I feel,
my very own breath you steal.

I cannot breathe, oh help me,
daddy, daddy, where can you be?
hide me, hide me from this beast,
whom I say I love the least.

touch me not, leave me be,
what do you want from me?
darkness cloaks your face I fear,
but your breathing I still hear,

daddy, daddy, where are you?
oh, daddy, if you only knew.
come and help me, save me please,
come to me so that this man flees.

I cannot breathe, I cannot scream,
is this just a horrid dream?
awaken me if it is true,
what is it he is going to do?

touch me not, leave me be,
leave me for I cannot see,
slip out quietly as you came in,
free yourself from nightly sin.

daddy, daddy help me please,
if I stand I will fall to my knees,
I cannot run nor hide nor play,
just wait for night to fade away.

he has pulled me from my bed and is dragging me along,
and deep inside my head, I hear the farewell song.
daddy, I want to scream,
daddy, wake me from this dream.

but daddy's dead and so am I,
what a lovely way to die.

NOTE: (October 11, 2018) This poem was written when I was in high school and living with my father. It was written around 1995 on the same day I wrote the poem "Untitled" 1995. Interestingly enough, I loved (and still love) both these poems. However, whenever people read this poem, they ask me if I had ever been raped or molested. Truly, as a sophomore in high school, these were the first dark poems I had written in my life. I was so proud of them! I showed them to so many people, including my dad. I will say that although I had experienced some trauma in my young life in regards to my parents divorcing, seeing domestic violence, experiencing abuse, and being invisible at times to my parents, it makes sense that my mind would find darkness, but rest assured, I was never molested or raped and if this poem brings any dark remembrances of such painful things to your mind, I am sorry and I pray that you will find peace and healing.

"The Power Lies In Me"