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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/242331-Losing-control
Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #594306
My life is about as interesting as the next person's.
#242331 added May 20, 2003 at 7:40pm
Restrictions: None
Losing control
Current Mood: irritated

Current Music: Milk - Jimmie's Chicken Shack
 
"milk them chickens
and pluck them cows
we're the ones
that gonna fuck you now"

Shane didn't go to Maryland this weekend like he said he was going to. You wanna know why? Because he got drunk - AGAIN! God. How long have we been together? Not that long, but it seems that every weekend he's getting wasted. <sigh> He says he won't anymore because he thought he was going to die from alcohol poisoning.

He says he will never do that again. If he does, then that means I can smoke . . . It's only fair. He doesn't like girls that smoke - pot especially and I don't like guys that smoke or drink. I don't think I would really smoke pot, but it's just to keep him from doing that. I hate it when he does that.

He was talking to David the other evening and I heard him say, "she loves you, man. She loves you." He was being dead serious. I mean, David's NEVER serious.

NO I DON'T! NEVER AGAIN! I promised myself I wouldn't ever again. I'm not letting it happen again . . . <screams> It's not fair. Why?

I don't know what to do about that. I'm scared to get any more involved with Shane. I'm comfortable and safe where I am. If he broke it off now, it'd be easier than if I were actually in love with him. I don't know if I love him . . . or whether it's just David making me think that, though I realized this before he even said anything.

It's actually depressing. Falling in love when you don't want to . . .

--------------------------------------------
but i threw you the obvious,
just to see if there's more behind you.
eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy
but i see,
see through it all.
see through, see you

© Copyright 2003 Yours Truly (UN: burnt_ashes at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Yours Truly has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/242331-Losing-control