Life as we know it sucks

Let It Go

Current Mood: peppy

Current Music: More Than Words - Extreme

Tuesday

Mother told me I'm going to kicked off her insurance policy because I'm not a full time student. Well great. That's just fuckin' great! Where the hell am I going to find a good enough job? I don't know what to do.

Brittany McCoy is working at Borders. How nice for her. I guess no one liked me there after all. Fuck them anyway!

And then there's the whole Spring '06 schedule for school. I've already taken both design classes that are offered, so what am I supposed to do next semester?

I'm starting to get really worried. I wish I was done with school and married so I didn't have to worry. I feel like I'm all alone on this. What am I going to do?






Thursday

I've been thinking a lot. I read all of my old emails to and from Christopher. I'm such a loser. And I'm so selfish - but who isn't really? I've been thinking that maybe the reason I'm still hung up on the whole "relationship," is because I hate myself so much for hurting someone I care about a lot. I feel so bad and I think I always will unutil I resolve this issue with myself. It has nothing to do with him forgiving me or anything. I need to let it go. I don't think he could do anything about that. Even if we somehow, miraculously, became friends again - that wouldn't solve anything for me. I think I'll still be beating myself up for all the awful things I did and said. I make everything about me and I can't even let it go. He didn't hurt me as much as I hurt him. I just hope one day SOON - I can let this all go.

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Good fences make good neighbors.