My thoughts

Writing 04/13/07

Once again a blog about writing. Once again I face a week where I have done little or no writing. I work a 10-hour schedule and I go to the gym on Tuesday nights and to a bible study on Wesdnesday nights. So I only have a couple of hours during the normal work week to get some work done.

But yet, I do not. Why is that? Is it because I am lazy? Is it because I am just worn out by the week? I am not sure. Now I am sure everyone who has sat in front of a computer for 10 hours knows how exhausting that is. When you get home you do not want to even turn on a computer. But I do. I turn on the computer to play games, to participate in forum chats. Yet, I do not write.

I look in the mirror and I will have to say that I am not a writer. I want to be one. But I am not one yet. From what I have heard other writers say, they have to write. Writing compells them to get in front of the keyboard and type away every day even if it is just for thirty minutes or so.

I am not at that point in my life. I would like to be there, but I have to admit I am not. So how do I get there? It will take dedication, something that I do not have a large amount of. I try to have it. I go to work determined to write when I get home but it never happens.

Does it take grace from God? I have tried that route too. I have prayed and prayed for grace. I get enough to write on the weekends but not enough to write at the end of the work day.

Does that mean that maybe I shouldn't write at the end of the work day? Does that mean that maybe I need to unwind and put all my cares behind me? Or am I just lazy.

One thing I have found out about God is that He will not make you do something that you don't want to do. So again it comes down to a question of my will.

Do I want to be a writer?

If I do, then I will have to dig down deep and find the dedication to write, even when I am tired and don't feel like it.