Each Day Already is a Challenge

Life isn't fair...but God is good

I don't have my sermon notes ready yet. It was another good one, though. About...a balanced life.

But I'm grrrrr-ing today. Having a pity party.

Yesterday, I read the classifieds as usual. There were a few interesting jobs. I guess I was feeling better - emotionally, if not physically - than usual and thought, "Well, maybe I could apply..."

For one of the jobs they were only accepting applications today. And, it figures today was not a good day for me.

Doggone it. I don't look sick, even to me!!! And I can - have - gotten used to being in pain all the time. I think I present an almost sunny disposition, even with the pain. Most of the time.

But I cannot control when the bouts of fatigue attack. And attack it did today. There was no way in the world I was going to be able to stay awake for an interview today.

Oh, there are other jobs in the paper. But you know...I'm beginning to understand my son's dad's attitude. He had been a computer geek when computers took up entire buildings. He worked for NASA back when they were using monkeys to see what would happen to them at certain speeds...before they would subject humans to those speeds. Well, he worked for...oh, heck, I can't remember. One of the companies contracted to work with NASA.

When he semi-retired, he had a few inventions which he patented and actually had some success with selling one of them. Problem was that the company wanted way more than we could produce and his patent had not gone through yet. So, he passed on that opportunity, although it would have earned him about $250,000 at the time.

While doing that, he was also a pretty "famous" piano bar player in Houston.

And then he had a small stroke. That was 20 years ago, and until recently he has not done much entertaining anymore.

When our son and I have suggested he get a part time job, he refused to do anything like...being a cart person at Wal-Mart because he had been something and done something important in the "old days."

That's what I'm starting to understand.

I never minded working at Dillard's because it was a "better" department store. They don't hire any part time workers for only 3 or 4 hours shifts here, though, like they did in Texas. And even if I could get a part time job with short hours at a...fast food or a convenience store, I really don't want to do that.

I guess I'm just as much a snob about that as my son's dad was. It's hard to think that you've lost some of your usefulness.

Can I write? Sure. And I do. But getting a regular gig wouldn't be too smart. I'm really not good with deadlines anymore.

Heck, I can't even guarantee I'll be able to volunteer at the church once a week for a few hours.

Why do I even care about this? Because our finances suck right now. Things just keep getting worse and worse and I don't know what magic that hubby thinks he can perform.

Selling those pianos is really a must.

I guess I'll add the sermon notes later today or tomorrow.