Who do I still think I am??

This one's about taking a compliment.

30DBC PROMPT: "Write for fifteen minutes using 'I used to think...' as your starter."

Hey everybody! Welcome back to another official month of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" ! I'm Norb, as some of you may know, and for the next thirty days I plan on entertaining and engaging you with some truth, some laughs, some insight, and good times...not all at once, and not necessarily in that order. There's some familiar faces, and some who are here for the first time. To all the competitors, have a great month...I wish you all the best. Now, onto today's prompt...it's 11:25am (my time, and maybe yours as well), so off we go.

I used to think...

(Wordsmitty ✍️ is right..."used to"? I'm still thinking...)

I'd live forever. Now I'm trying to condense forever into an unknown span of time without a set expiration point. As Eddie Vedder sang in Pearl Jam's "Light Years": "No turn to be void or save up on life...oh, ya gotta spend it all". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzc0P1anFYI

I'd either be dead or married by age 23. I've encountered neither, which presents its own dilemmas nearly 16 years later.

Everything would stay great once I settled down and life became routine. And as much as I love that static and simplicity, nothing ever stays the same. It bores me, and I find ways (whether I realize it at the time or not) to do things the hard way differently.

Writing was the easiest thing in the world...but with that ease came good things and the want for more and better. More and better turned into perfecting. And it's very hard trying to write the perfect blog entry or poem, no matter how many times you've been told any variation of "it's good, I like it".

A lot. But thinking tends to complicate life, and it's more exciting to live with no expectations or directions...although the cleanup afterwards can be a little inconvenient.

Pencils down, players. It's 11:39am, and I'm cool with what I got so far. Nobody wins a 30DBC on the first day, but I'm not here for your heads or your trophies...just a little respect. That said, I'd like to issue a little "challenge within the challenge". It won't cost you anything, and there's no incentive or prize for doing it, but take a few minutes and get to know some of the people who are runnin' with you in this month's 30DBC, and give their blog a review. Read a few entries and tell them what you think. Do the whole "public review" thing, if you'd like. You never know...it could make someone's day just to hear a few kind words.

BCF PROMPT: "National Compliment Day: What's the best compliment anyone has ever paid you?"

It's well documented between courts of law and public opinion, Facebook, Twitter, and this hunk of internet meatloaf that I am a man of many flaws. However, it is my belief that a person should not be judged by them...one of the many keys to understanding an individual is how he turns his weaknesses and misgivings into strengths. That's not some "self help" mumbo-jumbo. That's how people get by and get over.

What I can admit is that I have a huge problem when it comes to taking compliments. I'm still workin' on it, but like Slug raps in Felt's "Marvin Gaye"..."It's my song but I'm still tryin' to learn the words" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkyBavydyss). Maybe it's the self esteem issues I've had since I was a kid that I still struggle with trying to shake, or broken components of trust that get knocked over when I build them back up. I don't know. As much as I write and love to do it for its therapeutic value, now's not the time for public self-analysis. I'm normally even-keeled in pretty much every situation on the outside (almost to a fault) and I've mastered the exterior view by blushing uncontrollably while I look at my feet as they kick gently and shuffle. And I might even know/understand what you're saying, but it doesn't make sense. I can hear it, and I love it because you took the time to point it out, but it still seems like a foreign concept to me. So forgive me if I ever respond to something nice you or someone like you says about me in way you can't comprehend...it's just my way of sharing the confusion.

Anyway, I need to reel this back in so I can get to the point of the prompt. I know the weirdest compliment I ever got was when I was around 18 or 19, and a woman a few years older (not much, but enough) told me I had nice lips. That she said it at all was embarrassing enough; but hearing that amongst a group of friends made it all the more awkward. I think I would've rather heard her call me plain, or even ugly, as I was more used to that and comfortable with knowing that my looks aren't for everyone. I've always been a basket case textbook case of "what's on the inside counts just as much as the outside".

I don't file away compliments much, as if to pull them out at a later date to reassure myself of anything...life is always building and growing, and it's my opinion that nice words and actions water the personal plant. I honestly don't know that I can recall the "best compliment" I've ever been given, but I can postulate some of the most recent ones that stick out in my head. They were from blainecindy and Lyn's a sly fox in regards to blogging, my blog, things I've written, and such. I don't have a lot of things in this world, but I'll always have my name and my words...and I'm humbled to have been praised for them. It means a lot to this kid from Buffalo who's been through a lot the last few years to know he's got some supporters and some talented, enthusiastic people on his side. I tip my cap in acknowledgement of the words spoken about me in sincere appreciation. I hope I can continue doing what I do enough to bring you back to this meeting place with common ground of sorts...that alone is all the joy one needs.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I've been thinking about "compliments" as a general term when it came time to provide some musical accompaniment to today's entry, and the first phrase that came to mind (no offense to anyone...but my blog header insists that you've been warned) is "Maybe a prostitute could teach you how to take a compliment". I'm probably gonna reference "The Soundtrack of Your Life"  more than a few times in the coming weeks because of all the music that couldn't fit into a twenty-eight day residency among the varied and amazing. This poetry (lyrics: http://www.thehip.com/albums/index.html?CheckIT=6_62&SongID=62&AlbumID=6&LyricID...) is just sub-text to everything I've ever done or tried to do, and deserves a place in my lore.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

Once: I know I've seen that 30DBC prompt before...it's only rational that when you undertake so many of these challenges, you'll have come across repeated queries. It's ok; I'm alright with that, if you're alright with me hitting you with "This one's about thinking, kinda." . Take your time and enjoy that, denizens of the 30DBC. Nerd up a little on your history of a two-time winner. I've got a ways to go to catch up now with this crowd if I'm ever to maintain any WDC cred.

And don't think I'll be sleepin' on your entries...I read pretty much all of them. I like to know who's up to what so I can maintain some positivity when I can.

I have to wish a very special happy birthday to my best friend growing up...I think about you and your amazing family a lot, and I'm proud to have known you and all that you've done and meant to me, our friends, and how our lives intertwined so many years ago. I owe you so much gratitude, and I am humbled by you and all that you've done and become. You're a brother to me, whether you know it or not. I love you, and thank you. Also, I'm really, really sorry about that time I nearly ripped your Nintendo out of the wall when I thought I won but didn't in Super Tecmo Bowl by dancing, tripping over the controller wire, and then throwing a hissy-fit. You were so right in asking me to leave.

I'll probably go back to tweeting my entries...I got away from that in February because I was starting to feel a little worn out from blogging daily and trying to put up with myself (no easy feat). If you follow @Fivesixer I'll follow you back...it's an easy equation.

And that's it. Time to post this and be done with March day number one. Peace, no one drags me anywhere, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!