Dreamscapes

grief

Mom, my Dad and my brother are in this dream, along with my sister and a host of other characters. The message that arises is that I can not grieve, because people will not let me grieve. My mom is living and my dad has died. I grieve all the things that my dad did in the fixit area. I wonder how all these needs will get met now that he is gone. My dream looks at various electrical gadgets in the basement that he kept going. They are indistinct. There are refrigerator type gadgets, maybe heating, something that needs to be taken apart and adjusted. My brother Kurt is also dead. I want to talk about our connection and am left not even being able to offer a poem, which fumbles out of my brain. The funeral seems so superficial. I talk to my sister Lori and she talks to mom. I am convinced that mom does not want me to speak, because she is afraid of me losing it.

Mom and dad have both died. My brother Kurt is alive. I think the dream reminds me that grief is ongoing. When I feel determined to tough it out, I am reminded of the fact that there are some things(mechanical-skill level) that will not be done. The best thing I can do for myself is to find someone safe to confide in. My sister Lori is the buffer. Even as I type she is selling Mom's house. Even she can not keep to herself the need to take care of business, lest it undermine family need.