My Newbie is Showing...Part 3

August 18, Day 1 of no tech vacation

We (meaning my husband and two single sisters) started out at about 1:00 thinking we could get about half way to our destination if we tried. She teased that my brother said we would start late and would not get out of Minnesota before 6:00. So at 1:08 p.m., we stopped and took a picture of the Welcome to Iowa sign. We are such dorks.

We probably could have made better time taking freeways, but Cindy like the 2-lane backroads, so that was the way we took. Cindy is a Tetris master. She got suitcases and gear for four people, plus a wheelchair into her SUV, and still leave room for us to be comfortable. She had the whole route mapped out with an iPhone gps system. She fried Sir Bob (her TomTom gps system) so resorted to the cellphone. We started shortening the voice to Babs. She really did babble. We could always tell when we did something stupid because Babs went from sweet southern drawl to Minnesota firm insistence when we missed a turn or took a detour due to road construction.

Our biggest tease was to note that we should stop at this auction, we have room. Or stop at the Fonda golf course in Iowa and send a tease to the brother that we even had time for a round of golf. I think the funniest thing I saw in Iowa was a single cornstalk proudly adorning a stop sign. That was rich.

Cindy has a roommate named Sheryl who all of us have known literally since junior high school. That’s a long time. Sheryl is a very strong, down to earth farmer’s daughter with a dry wit. When we drove up to Cindy’s house, Sheryl was on lunch break. She had to leave almost as soon as we got the car parked and unpacked to repack in the SUV. About half way through the state of Iowa, Cindy got a text from Sheryl: I just noticed Cheri and Tom don’t have a van. I’m a quick one.”

We had a fairly uneventful trip from southern Minnesota to Branson MO until we hit Des Moines. I did not realize how serious Cindy really was about being a two-lane only driver so when we hit the city driving, she kept saying, "I'm scared." She was doing fine until she figured out where we were, I swear! So I told her I would switch to driving when she pulled over. I should never have said that – it was her cue to pull over and switch drivers, like right now! So at the next Enter lane -- you know the kind that have the long-running enter lane running parallel to the freeway? You know how there is that V where the enter lane merges with the freeway traffic? -- That’s where she stopped and got out to switch spots. We had us a Chinese fire drill on a freeway. Yep, they build us smart in Minnesota.

When she was settled in the backseat, she is looking around and wondering out loud how we would ever get back on the freeway. I just said “Watch me.” I gunned it and merged three lanes over in about a minute and a half. When I asked if she was alright, she said, “Yes, I was under the seat and didn’t see anything.”

We were all a little dingy by this time and needed a rest stop. Up to this point, we used gas stations and there were really no “rest areas” in two lane backroads. But since we were now on a freeway “oh, Boy", I saw a sign for a rest stop and pulled in and out that fast because there were no facilities, it was just a pull off patch of gravel and weeds. That was weird. Later on, we saw another sign for a rest area. We had to drive four miles to find it. This was a convenience store with one unisex bathroom. I looked at Vicki and questioned how this could possibly be considered a rest area. She said, if they sell food, are open 24 hours and have bathrooms, they can call themselves a rest area. Later on we saw a sign for a modern rest area. Those are the stand alone buildings maintained by the state. So now I know the difference between a rest stop, a rest area and a modern rest area. The funniest rest area I saw was the one that was planted along a construction area. I am sure the construction workers did not mean to plant the port-a-potty right in front of the modern rest area, but that’s where it was. Just gotta love Iowa humor.

Since we had a fairly late start, we needed to stop for the night at a decent hotel but we could not stop until we were in Missouri. We promised Brother Steve that we would make it to Missouri by nightfall. I thought AmericInn was the worst, but I think Comfort Inn is just about neck and neck. We just wanted a room with handicap accessibility, but they did not have one. They were willing to give us one with two queen size beds for $89.99 and for just $10 more, we could also have a microwave and fridge. Cindy said she would share with Vicki and Tom and I could have the other. We said we did not need a microwave and fridge so we paid our $90.00 and got to the room. We got the one with the noisy air conditioner. They gave us a fridge and a microwave. They really think they are the Hilton Grand with the tiered pricing, and then throwing us a bone when we did not fall for their scheme.

The best thing about the Comfort Inn is that they were right next door to The China King. I prefer buffet, but they had good off the menu selections. When I went in, I just had to interrogate them to make sure they were not Szechuan, which as we know, is just celery and onion in clear gum sauce. Can’t even stand the smell of it. The guy behind the counter was so funny. He said, we can make something else for you, it does not have to be Szechuan. So yes, he did make me some pretty decent beef lo mein. Yea! But it was getting late by the time we got back to the hotel and all I really wanted to do was sleep. But I was not comfortable, or at least I did not think I was.