My Newbie is Showing...Part 3

BC: Surprise for Me.

Prompt: What has surprised you the most about your life or life in general?

I'm sure this goes further than "You like me. You really like me!"

So when I look back, I am amazed at how absolutely, undeniably obtuse I have been. And maybe even a little mean.

I am reminded of a Star Trek episode where there were a million Voyagers at one particular point in time. And every other one was missing because that's where they didn't make it through whatever trial they faced.

I can think of at least half a dozen places where I could have got taken out of the picture, when I could have been nicer to somebody, where I could have said yes instead of no, it is one gigantic IF/THEN musical that could produce a million different scenarios based on each version of that what if.

My life could be so different if I hadn't found eBay, if I had been pickier in the jobs I chose to take, if I had not obligated myself financially to so much stupid stuff, if I had been more careful or more thoughtful in the choices I made.

It's a good thing we can't go back because I would. Putting aside the choices and people aside, and the impact I have made on people and they on me, I still want to go back and not say those hurtful things. That's the surprise. I don't want to change the people or actions, just not say the words that hurt.