Poisoned Purple Pen

At it again

Prompt: Choose one of the wastes of space in your life and tell us why they piss you off so much
"JAFBG"   by Elisa the Bunny Stik

Ah, at it again. Now you know I couldn't resist bitching about my crappy neighbors. This time I'm just going to hone in on the littlest monster next door, cause that's what he is. Me no lie!

It's a holiday weekend. Yea!! One extra day to stay at home and get things done here. By dinner time the crew was getting hungry. So I went outside to fire up the grill, and of course those assholes were outside, swimming, screaming, and just being the neighborhood pita's that they are. I'm playing Candy Crush on my phone, waiting for the grill to heat up so I can cook BBQ Chicken Breasts YUM! When I hear...

"Your fat. And your ugly. Why are you so fat?" the little monster says to his cousin.

I'm thinking, what are these people teaching their kids? I could've sworn I heard the parents out there, but not a reprimand, nothing.

So he continues to trash talk his cousin, and the very second the cousin decides he's not playing with him, he starts crying. I mean like literally crying. Did he apologize? Nope, just whined until his cousin got back in the pool.

The chickens on the grill now.

"Why are you so fat? Why do your nipples look like that? Your nipples are ugly."

His cousin must be a saint because I didn't hear a word. I come into the house and ask R where he wants to eat. He says outside. I cringe, because that means our little family dinner will include all the shit going on next door. I ask, are you sure? The little shit is out there talking trash. R wants to eat outside still. Alrighty then.

I set the table, and the boys return from Micky Ds with the fries. [so nice it's two blocks down on the left]. Danny is sitting across from me when all hell breaks loose next door.

Apparently the parents have realized we are outside and are trying to get their little monster to be quiet. Good luck there. It's a little late to tame that beast in my opinion.

Two minutes later, if that, he must have really pissed off his cousin, because he starts screaming and crying about the other kid not playing fair. Now the adults are involved, constantly saying...shhhh, be quiet, shhhh. Yeah, that works. NOT!

Less than a minute later he's all happy, yelling, telling his cousin what to do in the pool. R, Zak, Danny and I are all talking about them, how that kid is a brat, and every time he whines we laugh. I mean you'd think they were in our yard because they are so damn loud.

Dinner is finished and I'm standing now having a smoke. And that kid starts bawling like he's dying. Apparently his cousin dunked him under water. Oh no! He begins to scream and cry and tell his dad that he was drowning. I wish. Well that had the three of us laughing. And I mean seriously laughing. Which must have annoyed the parents to hear us laughing at their bratty child, because they went inside the house to escape us! I couldn't stop laughing, tell R, see, I told you. Drama. That kid is the biggest brat. He screams, then cries, then happy again, then screams, cries and then happy, and so on, and so on.

One by one they all headed inside. I finish cleaning up and look at R on the couch. That's it? You're staying in side? He gives me this look like I just asked him the most ridiculous question ever! I said, I guess were not going to be burning the papers tonight in the fire pit. He says no.

Ok, that means I can hang on my pc and WdC! Which I did.

All I know at this point, is that Winter may be turning into my favorite season, since it's the only time it's quiet outside. My neighbors suck, but they were good for a laugh yesterday. If I didn't laugh, I'd probably be hopping the fence to confront them!