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Rated: 18+ · Book · Satire · #2134276
Christian High School Kids in a Politically Correct Community
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#920157 added September 11, 2017 at 7:35pm
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Chapter 2
Chapter 2

Sunday Morning Worship at the Chanitok Presbyterian Church was scheduled to begin at 10 AM. About a half hour before that, Gwen’s mother Irene, and her 13 year old sister Sarah, would be driving off to attend worship without her.

If people ask why I’m not there, Gwen wondered, what’ll Mom tell them?

“I’m sorry, but our daughter said that she was just so effed out after engaging in safe sex last night; that she’s just not gonna be in any shape to sing in the choir.”?

What kind of an excuse is that?

A lot of kids who are in the Youth Choir, were sexually active at the motel and other places last night; including Katie Cabell, the Pastor’s daughter. A lot of those kids will be singing in the Choir at the Church this morning, but I won’t?

That doesn’t really matter?

As long as Mom or Sarah don’t tell them that I stayed home to watch some Fundamentalist TV Preacher, there shouldn’t be any problem.

No Problem? I’ll be watching a preacher known as, “Bible Banging Bob! The Bellowing Baptist from Biloxi!?”

On the other hand, yesterday morning, Mom and I attended the grand opening of that nearby abortion clinic, where Pastor Cabell gave the blessing. That afternoon, we attended the gay marriage ceremony that he conducted in the Sanctuary. Now there’s talk about him wanting to have the cross removed from the steeple; so as not to offend any unbelievers.

And the Congregation’s leaders wonder why we keep losing membership; while Bible Banging Bob’s Evangelicals keep increasing in number.

The time was now 9 o’clock. Gwen switched on the TV, clicked to one of the religious network channels, and waited for the televised service to begin.

The picture showed an enormous auditorium sized sanctuary, fully packed with more than 1,000 people; just the opposite of a typical Sunday morning at Chanitok Presbyterian, where there were usually more vacant pews than occupied ones. Instead of less than a dozen singers in the Youth Choir, this TV Church’s choir of about 100 adults sang a rousing version of
“For a Closer Walk with Thee.”

Then Pastor Robert Barnette stood at the pulpit. He was in his mid fifties, plump, with thinning hair.

“I know,” He spoke with a heavy, southern accent. “that a lot of people call me ‘The Bellowing Baptist from Biloxi.’ The other day someone said to me,

“‘You speak into a microphone Pastor, and there are amplifiers surrounding the entire Congregation. Then your services are being broadcast all around the World, and watched on millions of TV sets, where the viewers can adjust the volume; so why do you have to shout?’”

The Congregation laughed.

“Well I’ll tell you. Jesus told his Disciples, ‘There is nothing hidden that shall not be revealed, and what is whispered in your ears, you shall shout from the housetops.’

“So” the man now shouted, “I am one of His Disciples, and I am being obedient to the Lord!”

The Congregation laughed again. This time they also applauded.

Then Reverend Barnette opened his pulpit Bible. “My sermon today is based upon the Book of Romans. Chapter 1, verses 18 through 32.”

Then he began to read, as members of the Congregation followed along in their pew Bibles, and the written text was displayed at the bottom of the screen.

“The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

“For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the Immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

“Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another…”

Gwen, who sat watching and listening to the broadcast wondered, Was mine and Jimmy’s naked, horizontal dance degrading? Was Sarah’s putting a condom on a boy in a back seat also degrading? Kids today do all that stuff. If we feel like we’re degrading ourselves, we just have to get over it. That’s what we all have to do to get along.

Reverend Barnette’s reading continued. “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.”

The Congregation called out “Amen!”

“Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones

.“In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.”

Gwen thought, There’s no way we’re ever gonna hear that kind of preaching from Pastor Cabell, who conducted that gay marriage yesterday afternoon, at the First Presbyterian Church of Chanitok.

“Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve those who practice them.”

The bellowing Baptist shut the Bible.

“What you have just heard,” he said “is the true Word of God. It was written by the Apostle Paul, 2,000 years ago. It describes the World as it was then, and as it is now. ‘As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be.’ Don’t let it apply to you. If it does apply to you, turn to the Lord and the blood of Christ will cleanse you from all sins.”

Gwen sat there wondering, ‘deserving of death’? As long as we’re all careful, I don’t see what’s wrong.

Then the Reverend prayed, “In the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I ask God the Father Almighty, to send forth the Holy Spirit, and cast out the Devil from among we the people of the United States of America; so we will cease to harm each other; that we will be healed of all our afflictions, and that we will all come to know the Way of the Lord and follow Him.”

Gwen groaned. “I don’t want to listen to this.”

She picked up the tuner and switched off the TV.

Then she called out, “Mom! I’ve changed my mind! I’ll be going to Church with you!”

Just before Mom and Sarah were preparing to leave, Gwen joined them, modestly dressed like the two of them. The radio was on, tuned to a News Broadcast.

The Newsman announced, “A Homecoming Queen was killed last night, in a traffic accident on Long Island. 17 year old Margaret Elkins, who had been chosen Homecoming Queen at Chanitok High, just a few hours earlier, along with her Date, 17 year old David Burnet, around 1 o’clock this morning. They’d just left a local motel, where they’d been celebrating with their friends, when the car they were riding in was struck by…”

Gwen gasped. “Margie and Dave?”

Then she wondered, Deserving of death?

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