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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/946080-The-Perfect-Food
Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#946080 added November 23, 2018 at 12:12am
Restrictions: None
The Perfect Food
So, supposedly, Americans eat 46 million turkeys on Thanksgiving.

That sounds like a lot, but let's put it in perspective. That's one turkey for every 7 people in the US.

For comparison,

https://brandongaille.com/27-great-pizza-consumption-statistics/

In the United States, an estimated 3 billion pizzas are sold every year.

That comes out to over 8.2 million pizzas a day. Every. Day. Not just on one holiday.

This only makes sense. There are only two reasons to eat turkey: 1) it's Thanksgiving; 2) you want a low-fat source of protein.

On the other hand, there is only one reason to eat pizza, but it's an overwhelmingly convincing one: 1) it's fucking delicious, because it's pizza.

Now, let me be clear: That stuff they sell in Chicago? It's not pizza. So if that's part of the statistics, it's wrong. This isn't opinion, but objective fact. Chicago "pizza" is casserole. I'm not saying I don't like it, but I am saying it's not pizza.

There is also exactly one place west of the Mississippi that makes decent pizza, and that's Las Vegas. They can do it because they're a cosmopolitan city with immigrants from all over, including New York. And the One True Pizza is the style they sell in New York. And don't even get me started on California. Avocado is not a pizza topping. Avocado should never be put in an oven, period. And I'm not sure about seafood as a topping.

Oddly enough, I have no opinion on ham & pineapple pizza, aka "Hawaiian" pizza - I've had it, it's okay, I don't get the hate, but give me a pure New York pepperoni pizza any day. No, really, any day. I could eat pizza every day if I didn't think it would kill me in a month.

Not that that's ever stopped me from choosing pleasure over practicality. But as long as there are still beers I haven't tried, it's worth trying to stay alive to try them.

© Copyright 2018 Robert Waltz (UN: cathartes02 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Robert Waltz has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/946080-The-Perfect-Food