Toe in the Water

Summery Thoughts

Summery Thoughts

Summer has arrived and, with it, the looming horror of the annual medical check up. This used to be a winter thing and I could have the added delight of struggling through snow and ice to appear at the stated place and appointed time. Eventually, I realised that it would be easier to get it done in the summer and my doctor worked it out accordingly.

This year, however, covid19 has come to my rescue and I will have the inspection by video link only. That should ease the humiliation a little. There is still the matter of the preceding blood test but that has been a minor irritant since I learned that it’s best to keep the eyes tight shut during the procedure. And then there’s the added entertainment of guessing at the size of the bruise that results. At least I know now that it makes no difference whether the needle hurts or not - sometimes the painless ones give the biggest bruises.

It’s all part of the developing freak show that is old age. There was a time when I treated doctors in the same way I do mechanics. They are there to be used when something goes wrong and are otherwise ignored. Somehow, a few years ago, I was persuaded to begin this crazy round of annual humiliations and there seems no way of stopping it now.

There is some satisfaction in that each inspection seems to provide much the same result year after year. The one blip in that happened between medicals so my doctor never had the satisfaction of seeing me on my back, at the mercy of a surgeon replacing a few pipes to keep my old ticker going. In fact, now that the plumbing work has been done, my numbers get better, not worse.

But there’s no escape. Every summer my enjoyment of the warmer weather is spoiled by the knowledge that the dread appointment creeps closer. It’s not that my doctor is anything other than a really decent fellow and a pleasure to talk with. It’s the prodding, disrobing, peering into orifices and other investigations too awful to mention that get me down. And I suppose I have to admit that there is a niggling awareness that, sooner or later, he’s going to find something that will present me with some hard decisions. That, after all, is the ever-present sword of Damocles hanging over the aged.

Still, the relief afterwards makes for a great summer!


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