SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days

You're Being Manipulated, Well Aware of Emotional Abuse

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201704/forms-emotional-and-verbal-abuse-you-may-be-overlooking

This article is what I have been searching for and describes everything I struggle with on the home front. It has only one assertion I disagree with and one realization for me that makes me empathize with my abuser, that they also suffered childhood shame. And what the article doesn't fully realize, my abuser has employed my own offspring against me effectively. I see the patterns now and what I can do to approach these flaws in our relationship 25 years plus...

What I learned from the article is the relationship reached a new dynamic after we we're married, after we had kids. Things were said that saddened and worried me that made me feel we were losing a grip on a fun, unfettered relationship that was strong before our vows. In retrospect, there have been sign posts along the way that make me openly wonder about events that are new mysteries to me. Too personal to share here.

I'm just putting it out there, in here. You get to see my warts. I'm trying to help you see why I feel disenfranchised, angry, and act out toward authority because of my past and how it still haunts me now. I think you take too much credit for what you think being a part of this community has done to me, rather than for me. Being held out as a lowly black case has allowed me to process all that I've experienced through writing and putting it in perspective. Using whatever guilt, shame or indifference you employ to keep me out of your clubhouses only inspires me to investigate further.

I would love to expose all the manipulation to the world. All I have is this blog to warn others who have been abused that people in your life lurking may be using your kryptonite against you, employed for their own gain. It's okay to question their methods, their game, if something doesn't smell right to you. If they shame you or make you feel bad for these feelings, it's another sign that they are only kicking the dog and not the angels they proclaim themselves to be.


7.3.20
7.12.20 edited for one word (why can't original post date just appear at top?)