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 |    10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind |
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Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance like the others. You earn pretty medallions gallantly while other players buy, sell and trade at market to get ahead without moving an inch. Slow burn…hey? You’d rather keep your dignity, or try to figure out their game. That’s where you really get lost. Game full of misdirects leads right back to start over and over. You could have stayed on your quest. Now, you have this. Redacted, censored, gaslighted…must be doing something right, my old boss would say. I’m not a sociopath, he tells himself. Equal parts, then? Mom should have had me tested. Because, life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit ugly.Tap on them. It’s part of the quest…see where I’ve been; see who I am:                     Right. I redact myself. The beautiful mess you made. Who are you? If I’ve been denied the right of knowledge, I’ve earned the right to judge. | Without knowledge, who’s to judge? | No gavel; no voice. "...politely reedy but ambitiously eclectic—moving effortlessly from hen-picking and bottleneck slides to a full deck of chucka-chucka rhythm figures." I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost | I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. *Neurodivergent poet. *Don’t judge/hate. I love. *Honesty without mincing words. *Dump your prejudice outside my door. Hope you leave it on the way out. *Nothing to fear but people who surround themselves with rules, can’t be touched. *Real dialogue accepted. My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both. Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons to find boundaries, having no clue or told where they lie, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed. (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try). *The parenthetical lawyer up? Foot free, I’m all over the place. Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell the next boob that walks by.  Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. But, I get it. You're sick of me. It's how I feel about myself when I dig deeper, push boundaries. Don’t care my words that aim for honesty, either brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit a target. Get a back off shoulder shot for asking your motivations to write…won’t get me to bend over backwards to appease, again. There’s no prize to eye, not properly incentivized. So, does it mean when dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got? Yeah, rigged. Yeah, other tables — other ‘games’. But, something in my gut I’ll never be rid. My Pluggers: You are an icon here.  You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue}  It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋"  Your poetic muse is on fire!  Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal.  Published four times with one a literary journal, including…  "The Tender Core (Sedona)"  I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.   ![Merit Badge in Taboo Words
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Brian,
Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659].
I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Taboo_Words-2139481_13.gif) ![Merit Badge in Poetry
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Thanks you for supporting the [Link To Item #power] with an order to the [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/type-Poetry-2180.gif) August 28, 2006 this blog opened ▼
No specific aim going forward (2014) ▼  Now: I was such a whore.  This is old….What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on. Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting. If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I? …just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.  What Was NEW Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily. Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.  #amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY? Mud 4 My Eye:  Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door ▼ |
| You must experience it yourself, decide what to compare your pain to, and how long to languish in this empty sea rolling you and me I cannot explain the color of blue as we drift together on this journey apart, but how to be alone Eyes struck with thoughts of forgiveness, I only watch how you swim, swirl away from the drain Pulled away by the deepening tide, we divide over the course of time And should I never float again by your side, know this sea is as cruel as those who leave us here to live or die 4.30.21 5.14.21 punctuation edit Written (with my child in mind) to and after hearing: What's A Broken Heart by Patty Loveless while thinking of my youngest who struggles like their father. |
| dry, i have no more reason to cry, as if i could shed a tear for me, for you. what else is there left to do but fix eyes on that sunset and the next and every ever after? time doesn't roll backward. dull, i stopped trying to cull memories of when we were young, you and me innocently believing we were eternity -- now severed, broken by a wheel we can't see, crushing time in its wake, time that remains in the balance for just me. dreams are what remain for me, after I close my eyes, hard hoping we will meet in some parallel realm, your heavenly smile to greet me in an otherwise black night. 4.29.21 Written to song, "In Another Lifetime" |
| Drunk on sadness savoring sweet melancholy sipping alone they try to pry away the gloom unaware how much I consume in my dark But, I see you and you and you there we're like winos in this street unable to commiserate because each to his own sipping sweet savory melancholy to the bottom Fortunate, we stand again against the coming days I rise up like you disheveled and ready to make myself whole again before one more moment's sleep sipping sadness from sweet dreams -- savory, empty melancholy complete. 4.15.21 ed. 4.29.21 |
| Seducted by your crafted words inflected, reflective, protracted like tender, leather tendrils vibrating on the edge, undulating a melody; constructed to manipulate my nostalgia for a blue-eyed, titian-haired lass -- luxor and sheen and porcelain skin gleam. this illumination from a warble softening, drips from your mouth into my ears. a vision building on emotions playing in a dulled knowing -- this creation, hollow but for sound... but, I play it again, dream be as near to you as I can allow. 4.27.21 If anyone cares: 24 lines, free verse Written following Fisher's 'You'. I'm flashing my poetic license to create the word 'seducted'. Did I forget to mention 'luxor' which is my abbrev of luxorious? |
| She was talking tattoos and indirectly said, "Does Brian have a tat?" to which I responded mine were scars from a reckless life chasing balls, colliding with obstacles but never fists, which I regretted, because it is what I think she would have admired most. My skin is pure and cut, muscles running deep, which she may have acknowledged but didn't seem to take in. My blue eyes always intense could have revealed a moody one, filled with angst to pain (but soft for her), notes from my soul fill with refrains never sung to her -- because she was looking the other way, studding her nose daily, killing pain with weed and beer nightly, dancing until she had to be carried off, staggering out night clubs and cars to places now very far (and warm) from where we once enjoyed a charade. She chirped and I tuned in, hoping to reveal a side she couldn't possibly fathom existed in a tortured boy masquerading as a man. We'll never come to that bridge, though. I sing each night and day away as if she will one day realize what she neglected to hear. 4.20.21 Not an unrequited love poem...just something I wrote about a seven year old memory of someone who teased when she touched but never truly sought the heart of a man, which might have been deeper than she could have understood. and if she would ask me now, get to really know me rather than employ the generational stereotypes, she'd see dimensions of a wonderful journey. |
| From my offline archives... Some things never change: Like the soul trying to find deeper meaning In a mud pile mixing with garbage, Clutching anything resembling gold Our sentimental eyes could savor. While a gleam emits from eyes Ordinarily dull, A viewer will see a reflection Of what we dream to realize And reconnect with what could be, While not acknowledging inspiration Emitting in that scene. Disconnected, we go Our separate ways, reconfiguring, Wishing for something more than Just this reality, Roaming from scene to scene With a mind that continually dreams. Never using eyes that really see, Eventually, What’s in our crosshairs: A horizon rising and setting, Visually escaping. A sun and a moon that scheme To be just out of reach For eternity, For souls roaming quite innocently Without using eyes For the evidentiary. 11.2.20 4.19.21 |
| Ten years turns into twenty -- Do admit, thirty -- In the blink of the mind’s eye, Holding a vision of you And I Once upon a time. Thirty minus ten minus ten, Won’t get me back there again, Back to the precipice, Feeling afraid to mount A decision I could have made for you And I. Why didn’t I try? Ten years times three, Time streaks Across this internal sky, Eternal mind That won’t let go of a vision Of you and I. If I had just tried, That summit, never mountain, That dream envisioned, Surrounding me still Toward the unknown horizon escaping, A linear vision, Realizing I missed my chance. 11.2.20 4.19.21 needs one more edit for ending |
| From my offline poetry journal.... Timing’s off -- waited too long to witness you lopsided, hung up early in the dark In these trees In my disease Waiting too long to acknowledge your form two days too late Can’t imagine why so distracted why I can’t put off what can wait when you rise again in this slow season Clear a path through this night to the other side to stay awake all night and know everything’s alright when I’ll have another friend join to greet a new day Timing’s been off waited too long for a vision of perfection of glowing beauty Doesn’t come along often Got to make the time when night arrives again. 11.2.20 4.19.21 About the moon. |
| The blue wall, 25 grams per square meter dense, polypropylene, maybe, polystyrene, polycarbonate, polyethylene, or polyester, veil the ignorant prisoner, one year, one month and how many days? Groggily aware, not hopeful of a day air is inhaled unfiltered without the fear of another deadly disease. 4.18.21 |
| You don't face the dark or the wall but an indeterminable time replaying every mistake forgetting hope and glimpses of starliit obstacles that will yield on the horizon to your dreams if you just try, if willing to fail with a chance to succeed. |
| all the beautiful things dim -- the '55 classic idle in a hot farm field embraced by weeds daring bloom flowers a certain rustic charm all the beauty dimmed in sun-faded paint, tarnished chrome a blended shape now landscape as if sprouting, reimagined above the hood a tomb of stick weeds obscuring dense visages of a dark, passenger-free, eerie cabin like impending death all beauty dim can't hum above a cricket now black bald mounted on crusted rim idle as the mid-day sun searing beauty dimmed shines summer long unobserved, a classic waste, but no wreckers come near it's sagging barn friend 4.10.21 rev. 4.14.21 was working on a rewrite for contest: They crawl up to you as if daring restore your paint with their true seasonal color The intertwine with the undercarriage crane to peer in dark windows made by their summer shade All the beautiful things dim -- idle in a hot field, sun-friend embraced by rustic charm sun-faded, half a century tarnished chrome of former blazing speed a blended shape now landscape as if sprouting, reimagined With the hood a tomb adorned by last year's sticks marking out dense visages eerie cabin of impending death all beauty dim can't hum above a cricket now black bald mounted on crusted rim idle as the mid-day sun searing beauty dimmed shines summer long, unobserved classic American waste, but no wreckers come it's sagging barn friend |
| the wonder of you scrawled, etching a black sky. whitening snapshots strike fear, the further I near. you reassemble my particles after those canon blasts in murky sky battles I pleasure to watch like reenactments, but feel centuries old. on that horizon, with glimpse of sun arriving, low grumbling reminds this war goes on, returns almost nightly as renewed complaints. I douse the light inside to dream an hour more, reminisce how you shook me; awake in both an old and a new world. 4.10.21 (edited 5/21, 9/22) 21 lines free verse Using a morning thunderstorm to wake from a dream of personal loss about someone who troubled like a storm, with love and regret for the thrill and loss of a stormy co-existence. I often revel in these dreams to flash back to a time when our romance had potential, excited and not after - dull, ordinary. So, I sleep perchance to dream of 'her' again. Entered 4.10.21 in The Writer's Cramp - no show Was a static (deleted and preserved in blog) original title: shaken Considered: shaken awake, but not you shook me all night long "  WINNER and NEW PROMPT, due 10-Apr-2021!" "Poetry 21 lines" |
| gleaming in the barely dim, a thaw, streaming images alight a weary soul Hands drop from the plough share A puzzled wonderment What am I doing here? Furrow lines in sand present On the dark brow I’m as dry as the land You don’t reap... 4.7.21 |
| Free associating feelings again, after a cluster of words pinged off the towers in my head... Echoes And The Dimension Between Echoes are hollow if you notice, listen close. Like a shallow puddle you could avoid, soak a shoe. The distance to these empty places revisited, the time it takes to return to present, wasted time. The car ride at night to these destinations, can't recall. No scenery to absorb over an absent infinity in your heart. The echoes -- louder... Puddles -- muddier... Why did I venture out, except -- I'm alone? You aren't here to fill that void in the galaxy and dimension between. 4.6.21 4.30 new edit |
| Feel like the flywheel spinning wasted energy my angular momentum meant to capture this awkward throbbing in my heart sometimes whirling at dizzying speeds and maybe I'm just an instrument for you to toy with wicked gleams in fetching eyes fool one as silly who cannot lock onto intended targets all loose from too much action -- just one aspect chained to the axis easy to gauge from your vantage but not for me to disengage by the time I get my bearing Long you've been away. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flywheel 3.30.31 Revised 4.6.21 I will give this more thought without directly implying a toy top...e.g. A flywheel is nothing but a heavy rotating disc attached to a shaft. It rotates along with the shaft. Because of it's large weight, it has large amount of inertia, the property of a body by which it tends to remain in motion unless some other force causes it to stop. stores the kinetic energy of the initial acceleration and propels the toy after it is released, by forcing the perpetual motor that revolves the kinetic energy. |
Her songs got me through some difficult days, once upon a time. |
Poem forthcoming, when I can free up brain cells to finish. Poem now: In the bourbon and water Swirling Thought I'd add a cherry Sunken To the bottom of the glass Drained: Did I savor you? It's been too long, Too late Ice long melted away Chills a heart still, foolish as mine: Did you warm me? I don't want to feel nothin' Tipping Anchored to this empty bar Floating Eyes freely gazing in the glass Reflecting: Did I see eyes stir? With senses pinging for towers Dulling I'd take knives deep in hollow skin Driving Valleys into concocted veins Bleeding for you again. The longer I drink... Here I am. 4.6.21 How To Sing With A Broken Heart as yet (un)written You sing a sad song with fondness in your eyes Sparkling voice ever clearer With green eyes that crystallize |
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— 21
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— 29![Merit Badge in Shadows and Light
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A huge congratulations, to you!
You have won a very deserved Honourable Mention in [Link To Item #shadows] , round 112 *^*Smile*^*
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Shadows_and_Light-1936078_14.gif)
![Merit Badge in Shadows & Light II
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Brian,
Congratulations! You won 1st Place in [Link To Item #shadows] with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1037176]. Fabulous writing!
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Shadows_=38_Light_II-1936078_14.gif)
— 9
MAY 
37![Merit Badge in Coffee Award
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Congratulations on placing 2nd in [Link To Item #2182602] with your poem, [Link to Book Entry #1031722]. *^*Coffeeo*^* Kindest Regards, Lilli](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Coffee_Award-2149524_14.gif)
APRIL ![Merit Badge in Humorous Poetry Contest
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Congratulations on the third place win at [Link To Item #hpc] for your poem: [Link to Book Entry #1030482]. Thanks for making me laugh, and keep writing the funny stuff! *^*Bigsmile*^* ~Lornda A.K.A. The Queen of Comedy *^*Crown*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Humorous_Poetry_Contest-1875103_14.gif)
MARCH 
![Merit Badge in Contests
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CONGRATULATIONS for winning 2nd place in [Link To Item #2254385] !!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Contests-235.gif)
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Thank you for your participation in the 48-HOUR CHALLENGE: " Thank You by Dido ." Media Prompt hosted by [Link To User support] March 2022! We appreciate that you tackled this challenge... *^*Smile*^* *^*Thumbsupl*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/WDC-WDC_Media_Prompt.gif)
![Merit Badge in Good Things Take Time
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Here's to a world where we wouldn't have to keep reciting the words woven in your excellent poem [Link to Book Entry #1027990].](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Good_Things_Take_Time.gif)
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Thank you so much for your poem [Link to Book Entry #1026670]! Please don’t ever stop being you, both as a writer and a visionary of love!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Gay_Lesbian-680.gif)
JANUARY 
18
![Merit Badge in Quill Award
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Congratulations on winning Best Medium-Length Poem, Free Verse in the 2021 edition of The Quills!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Quill_Award-1375927_6.gif)
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Thank you for your generous donation to [Link To Item #quillhome] ! *^*Quill*^* Every donation is used to celebrate WdC while recognizing quality work and acknowledging community involvement. Kindest Regards, Lilli](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Quill_Sponsor-1375927_6.gif)
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Congratulations on winning 1st Place in the September 2022 round of [Link To Item #quotation] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/WDC-Quotation_Inspiration.gif)
![Merit Badge in Artistic
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Congratulations on winning day 6 of The Daily Poem Sept 2022!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Artistic-125.gif)
![Merit Badge in Problem Solving
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From [Link To User jayne] : With my apologies for the Redaction Poem prompt mishap. Thank you for taking on the challenge! I hope to see you next time for a redaction-free week of fun at [Link To Item #dailypoem] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Problem_Solving-210.gif)
![Merit Badge in Inspiring Love For Poetry
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Congratulations on being our Honorable Mention in March of 2022 at [Link To Item #2216416] !
Blessings, Sharmelle](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Inspiring_Love_For_Poetry-2259846_14.gif)
![Merit Badge in Action Adventure
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CONGRATULATIONS for [Link To Item #2229211] winning place as an Honourable Mention in [Link To Item #2254385] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Action_Adventure-100.gif)
![Merit Badge in Bard's Hall Blogging Merit Badge
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For placing 3rd in the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest, June 2022](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Bard=s_Hall_Blogging_Merit_Badge-2094227_12.gif){kind=icon}
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Congratulations for winning 1st Place during the April 2022 round of [Link To Item #2268646] !](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-G_Specials-2271325_14.gif)
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Congratulations on your 1st Place win in the April 2022 Round of Chapter One! Great entry! *^*Smile*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Chapter_1-2251918_14.gif)
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Congratulations to our 1st Runner Up of [Link To Item #2254385] Round6.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Accuracy.gif)
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Congrats Team Pedantic Poets Platoon on winning [Link To Item #1803384] during WDC's 21st Birthday Festivities!! Well done!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-30DBC_Winner-2064535_14.gif)
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A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art.
― Paul Cezanne
Thanks for your participation in my 'art' challenge via my notebook feed.
Keep on being inspired! *^*Bigsmile*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Every_Moment_Matters.gif)
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CONGRATULATIONS on [Link To Item #1145690] winning a place in "Honorable Mentions" in [Link To Item #2254385]](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Brilliant.gif)
