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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/ripglaedr3/month/5-1-2020
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance like the others. You earn pretty medallions gallantly while other players buy, sell and trade at market to get ahead without moving an inch. Slow burn…hey? You’d rather keep your dignity, or try to figure out their game. That’s where you really get lost. Game full of misdirects leads right back to start over and over. You could have stayed on your quest. Now, you have this.

Redacted, censored, gaslighted…must be doing something right, my old boss would say. I’m not a sociopath, he tells himself. Equal parts, then? Mom should have had me tested. Because, life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit ugly.Tap on them. It’s part of the quest…see where I’ve been; see who I am:


         
                   
                                       
                   
                   
        
         


Right. I redact myself. The beautiful mess you made. Who are you?
If I’ve been denied the right of knowledge, I’ve earned the right to judge.
         |
Without knowledge, who’s to judge?
         |
No gavel; no voice.

"...politely reedy but ambitiously eclectic—moving effortlessly from hen-picking and bottleneck slides to a full deck of chucka-chucka rhythm figures."

I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle.

*Neurodivergent poet.
*Don’t judge/hate. I love.
*Honesty without mincing words.
*Dump your prejudice outside my door. Hope you leave it on the way out.
*Nothing to fear but people who surround themselves with rules, can’t be touched.
*Real dialogue accepted.

My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both.

Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons to find boundaries, having no clue or told where they lie, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed. (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try).
*The parenthetical lawyer up?



Foot free, I’m all over the place.
 
"Note: Poetry: life’s little interruptions amassing int..."
 

Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell the next boob that walks by. *Clown*

Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. But, I get it. You're sick of me. It's how I feel about myself when I dig deeper, push boundaries. Don’t care my words that aim for honesty, either brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit a target. Get a back off shoulder shot for asking your motivations to write…won’t get me to bend over backwards to appease, again.

There’s no prize to eye, not properly incentivized. So, does it mean when dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got? Yeah, rigged. Yeah, other tables — other ‘games’. But, something in my gut I’ll never be rid.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue}*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by He’s Brian K Compton


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
May 31, 2020 at 7:19pm
May 31, 2020 at 7:19pm
#984723
Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in  [Link To Item #2139468]  with your poem, [Link to Book Entry #984723].

Rachel *^*Heartv*^*
Inner Sanctum

in a hole in the wall where a small door would go
hung a single blanket, a curtain against light
capturing dark; probed by a sturdy lens powered
from a sleeve of c-cell batteries and determined aim.

muffled noises could not penetrate the lair where
the accumulator absorbed frequent fantasy of
comic villains flailing, failing destruction of
steel-willed heroes, brightly painted, flying.

popcorn vigilantes and candy wrapper truants
littered a fascinating theatre, a void the warden allowed
as the outer-world crashed, collided like ink on matte.
barred blue eyes seldom sought a framed horizon shining.

divided from sneer of summer boys working mocking tongues
like dark-hood rogues, hopeful balls that could sail with aim
would not find his head. in that crawl space, the rap-rap-rap
echoes followed by his murmured name no longer came.

hollow youth inhabited a 2x4, plaster-wrapped void
of non-conformity, five decades long. Infinite
as expanding light, a shadowed man hides the child,
brief in sanctity. firm to his hardwood, a life in negation.


5.31.20
4th draft submitted --


"The Taboo Words Contest ~ On Hiatus
Taboo Words:

ISOLATION
taboo words:
lonely
alone
isolate
boredom
friends
or any derivatives of these words
May 28, 2020 at 9:44pm
May 28, 2020 at 9:44pm
#984514
Restrict me, ban me, censor me
I implore
My freedom of speech heretofore
restricted
My right to expression
muffled like a mask against a deadly disease:

the misuse of words

formed by
a one man army with a propaganda campaign
against a redacting overlord and
deemed by you, the owner of said business,
Necessary to suppress
with a corporate right
to snub me
snuff out what you see, er,
I'm sorry, your fact checkers...

or

you could
implore indifference
don't react, stay
these words of his/mine won't play
but Twitter, the President
of our U.S.A.
what a snit, hey?

he can just sign legislation
to may this all go away?

Well, I could have some fun
thinking I could mix up a batch
a potion of words and hurl
at your expense
but I've grown tired of you
and of making a self-defense...

so, sign the executive order
which to him seems
'turnabout is fair play'
this is a democracy
and I can sue your pants off?
if I don't get me way?

You're putting a cap on that right, Don?

Meh.
We'll see.


5.28.20
Just a poem made up in a flash and will likely forget about for a few days.
Interesting, though. Freedom of speech is not good for some businesses, I gue-ess. {that's a lilting syllable, right there, that was. uh-ha.)
May 28, 2020 at 10:17am
May 28, 2020 at 10:17am
#984468
In my haste to weed this late Spring
I cast a gaze upon you in the hard ground my spade
seldom seeks to loosen roots. You do not
flower anymore amid rock, moss, wayward ash seeds
and pine needles mixing in acidic, red soil that
I assumed you once reveled in.

You were dropped in a cavern of spreading ground cover
that dared crawl beneath the fence, enmesh
every hopeful yawning thing waking,
yearning to bloom for sour eyes. Seldom do I seek
the succor of visual splendor afforded
perennial lovers of new seasons.

I look upon you and realize my ignorant foot half
planted on your brood, also struggling for droplets of anything,
and sunlight, that would do. Indifference
not my usual candor; and, my grief for brief
beauties who survive like you, gone.

Despite a neglectful father, your stalk hearty
and vibrant green. Despite my ignorance, you remain
dutiful, as if vigilant, to reproduce again and again,
and remind this poorly clad gardener what I’ve ignored --
that I loved you.

22 lines
free verse

5.28.20
6.12.20 edit
while gardening, if you can call it what I do

thoughts:

It is what it is and that's sad. I do love you. Maybe I just don't love me anymore.
May 26, 2020 at 11:51am
May 26, 2020 at 11:51am
#984363
Here I am
your trampoline
Bounce on me for joy --
         durable, tethered, ready
for bare feet -- or shoes
and the weight
stretching my fraught core
send you high,
higher == go higher, I implore
Higher than you were before
Make sure
         make sure you know
you're always welcome
to come back
play more.

Here I am
a pliable surface
your trampoline --
         hardened, flexible, prepared
Remove the tarpaulin
to rocket your torpedoes
thrust from this pad
lift despair
fly higher == in this air
because I need
know
         Need know
you're happy
   know
I serve a purpose -- you.

Come back often
Come back evermore
but don't leave me here,
alone.


5.25.20
edit 5.28.20
edit 6.12.20
May 23, 2020 at 11:53am
May 23, 2020 at 11:53am
#984167
from the man brandishing a gun to
the boy dangling swung legs from the tailgate
of his father's produce truck
metaphoric
images entangled in cop talk and
sentimentalism of things fictionalized
embellished
by the sequestered fool speeding through
these parallel portals to realize neither
and both exist in him
until the day he dies until a magic gun
does materialize
in his incapable hands.

when is father coming back?
he was never there to begin with, boy
when do the police come?
you have to commit a crime to get acknowledged

so, without handcuffs I write and
without the heart of a boy or a parent arriving
aimless I plunder on through these words yearning
to find some meaning.

what a useless place I thrive in

5.23.20
just more word soup to stir

do you think there will ever be a point?
um, you don't have to answer hypotheticals
May 18, 2020 at 11:12am
May 18, 2020 at 11:12am
#983864
I see where you swim
in circles, in groups
In concentric shapes
I merge with the fray
mimic the movements
see tailfins bend, redirect
separate, move away
splintered swimmers smooth
dive amid hydrilla hidden

Have you gone away?

The sun warms a fool
in this ocean pool
alone in open water
hovering hopeful
no predators, ready
to play

I want to teach you
my game, but rather than
acknowledge, you move away
Wait until I'm ashore
for dinner and return
to the streams
where we could play

5.18.20

Supposed to be about not wanting to join that way
How some fish don't let other fish join because they are different, unwelcome, don't know the game
Even though these fish don't play by the dictated rules, make up their own game
Can't get the gist, mood right
May 17, 2020 at 8:12pm
May 17, 2020 at 8:12pm
#983816
Don't cool your blood
Before eyes locked to text, read
Your breathless poetry to the open chamber,
Stir the dead. Your flesh is there's
Replicated
Veins vibrant must purge
To still the eager, pale skin red
In the hollow heart yearning eternal fulfillment
Mind fixed on an endless sea
Of warm relatives.

5.17.20

Playing with words, concepts with some structure haphardly formed, forming.

It's about leaning into your poetry like recitations to an audience of fellow writers, knowing they could judge you and learn to love you for following your own path inside their world. Have to be ready for acceptance, not rejection which in the past informed in a deconstructive way.

The following preceded the above poem: "The Real Salinger
May 16, 2020 at 2:20pm
May 16, 2020 at 2:20pm
#983730
Until

Is it wrong I want to be left alone until
I don’t want to be left alone until
I’ve had enough of you, go back into hiding until
my heart and head are ready to repeat
the whole charade, the whole masquerade?

I love you dearly, sweetly I do
I love you near me, quietly will do
I love the idea of you until
You open your mouth and formed words
tumble out of that pretty little head

I hold my firm finger to your lips
or kiss them instead
Pressure is best for two locked
in silence, engulfed by passion

I said I loved the idea of you
I spared you my words but gave you
my mouth, exhumed my soul within
Let me have these moments now
to reflect upon you in silence until...


*Smirk*
5.16.20
May 16, 2020 at 12:29pm
May 16, 2020 at 12:29pm
#983718
I know it's beautiful outside
so why isn't it beautiful within
as I'm looking out this window
through your portal, a mirror
reflecting back on me...?

let the honeybee eat cake, eh Marie?
though, you probably didn't say it.
thresh every dandelion and daring
wildflower brightly infecting vision
at the break of Spring, the first Saturday
get your fat ass on the saddle
of that oil-spitting, smoke-spewing
red rider grating silent air-waves

spray the remaining 'noxious' weed
with your molecular destabilizing blasts,
sparing perfect green from invaders,
spare the colony of Arian blades
from the shade of those pesky,
multi-armed giants towering above,
daring compare to, a lush carpet
for tender bare feet so nimble,
dare shadow dutiful tulips arriving,
bordering on perfect, multi-colored
symmetry of pretty maids in a row
that somehow sprung up; despite
the wayward pollen you so desperately
avoid, need collected, inseminate
these things that bring us outdoors.


5.16.20
meh. I will work on later.
May 16, 2020 at 11:10am
May 16, 2020 at 11:10am
#983712
I hope you know darling
I can't be the wild garden butterfly
haphazardly flapping white wings
before your aromatic hyacinth,
lily of the valley bell sprays,
amid spring tulips daring symmetry
and other hand-me-down heirlooms
longing my tender hands weed, divide,
surround your beautiful, wide eyes
envisioning eternal symphony, nearing
like infinity, in an instant taken
by storm, gnawing rodents and bespecked
insects with voracious appetites.

I'll be white-winged wherever you are,
flowing but separating from our past
to move beyond, fading forgotten into
the blue, clouded vault of mystery --
beyond the dust of towering pine
swaying, judging -- and below the ground
with soil ever-loving, always nurturing
our shared desire of blooms sprouting,
and graceful garden butterflies showing.


Coda
The most beautiful melody at memorial
you can't hear is playing in my ears
while we share a bench alone eternally.
You clutch my hand as if knowing my
suffering here in silence on earth,
while we stay together, apart, or in
bed each night as you tenderly clutch
my soul's remains. My eyes are only
for the spinning ceiling fan whooshing away
sounds repeating in my tiresome head,
eroding guilt I cannot fully love you
until I know you celebrate me again.

I've come to realize I broke the vision
you had for me, of a silent knight
long ago, when the white steed suddenly
died at your distressed feet...when
you realized I was now the helpless one,
and you would have to shoulder me
from then and beyond every tomorrow
until I'm ash scattered on breezes
landing me in the hopeful, morning bed
with delightful things I never had eyes
to appreciate, like your longing
for my soul's return to you, darling. *Butterfly2W*



5.16.20

"Dirt Buffet (It Is Your Fault)

Tell me I don't belong among you; give me a real reason and I swear if it's honest, fair and true, I'll go.
May 15, 2020 at 10:04am
May 15, 2020 at 10:04am
#983632
In a field of words, I haphazardly harvest life's little treasures.
Unkempt, sprawling verses I carry home, falling out of pants pockets,
to shove In a tall glass from your cupboard; hoping you'll fill with water.

from "Flowers

BOOK
Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋  (18+)
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
#1149750 by He’s Brian K Compton
May 11, 2020 at 9:24pm
May 11, 2020 at 9:24pm
#983343
You might not be long for this world.
Never seen so tragic a tale.
Let’s get our breath , take a moment. Exhale.


I spied a child of two roar. I held
a wonder at four who never feared but soared.
I tailed you at your insistence
at your first dance, swung by
Daddy’s able arms, the abandoned
to watch you prance
about that gymnasium floor.

But elementary dreams faded, broke.
In my arms it was seldom spoke
whether you knew the words or
could reveal a heart not meant to mend
for hands feebly making self-amends.

I wanted to leave you gleaming
In shuttered world now streaming
Before I hit that golden horizon
I wonder...could I have danced with you more?


5.11.20
6.12.20 edit

written about my fifteen year old she/he kid who's left us all wondering how this is all going to play out after anti-depressants and adderol.
May 11, 2020 at 9:13pm
May 11, 2020 at 9:13pm
#983342
something I shared with 🌑 Darleen - QoD one her message board called "Invalid Item. let's see who comes up with something first...

She kissed a dead man on the mouth
in his eleventh hour,
before time ran out
to win her affection.
She held his face in her hands,
guided his lips to hers,
and they fully compressed...





actually inspired by a 2010 Australian flick featuring Peter Dinklage courting a woman he'd never met with a letter he wrote to appease a promise to his dying wife to seek love and not be alone.

BOOK
Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋  (18+)
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
#1149750 by He’s Brian K Compton
May 11, 2020 at 9:02am
May 11, 2020 at 9:02am
#983307
By the tall window he sipped coffee,
never letting go of the handle while
caressing the cup with the other hand,
where it hovered over the receiving plate.

I watched him from the alcove of my
work area, where I scanned for tables
to bus and patrons needing a refill;
though, it was the waitresses' job.

I did it for the pony-tailed blonde
with nylon skirt that pleasingly slid
up her long thighs, whenever she reached
beneath the heat lamps for orders.

I served her because she could speak
to a lonely dishwasher's heart with
warm words eliding every so tenderly
over each bird-sung syllable until her break.

He sat in the same window booth most
everyday I worked and only ordered
the java that seemed sustain him enough
to go on reveries viewing a warm scene.

Did I mention that I knew him, felt
compelled to serve him, knowing some
universal thing that linked us. His name
was Ken, my brother's father-in-law.

We nodded acknowledgment of one another
most days, before I started assisting
Sarah, who took her breaks, today with
Bill, the other dishwasher, out back.

I watched Lisa cover tables, but not
for this girl who spun my dizzied heart,
that needed her warming words when I
covered her area on that day when

Ken slumped in his booth and stopped
peering out the tall window, while I
wondered if anyone was going to check
to see if the divorced man was okay.

I stood in my alcove, and in horrified
silence, as the ambulance drove away,
never moving, never gesticulating,
to this day wondering if I have

it in me to cover tables for Sarah.
If I could just hear the words spoken
Can I warm that up for you? once
in the years it took since I quit that job.

Bill grew old. Sarah aged, too. Lisa
is a grandmother and I'm with Ken
today, and never mind where I've been.
I've never known the meaning of warm.


5.11.20
May 3, 2020 at 10:51am
May 3, 2020 at 10:51am
#982645
Summer Silencer

He needed an automatic life silencer
from the moment his own screams
pierced the dense skull, rooted
in its stem to the core
until he was hollow --
A boy alone
flashlight
in tent
blankets
warmed in dark
swaddled him in --
With musty old pillows
that sometimes produced
a curious insect crawling across
his pale head perusing comics
or colorful Sunday section
at their woodland camp
beneath the pinnings
on the clothesline
where he hid
from them
all day

When supper was called he would hesitate
until a quilt peeled back produced her
expectant face and light behind it
as she repeated her words lovingly
Time to eat
Not a command, a call
to face the snarling man
at their table
When he wasn't there
life outside the silencer continued --
By the creek, spying for frogs --
Under the apple viewing bees
serenading pink buds --
Along the power line that made a trail --
rugged properties connected

Strawberries would sometimes hide
beneath red and green leaves
still too early for maturation
for a child who could remember
a happy man who drove their
green truck bouncing them --
unbelted on saddled stead --
over uneven terrain
to collect wood discarded
by yellow hat utility workers busied
with clearing their trail

With small lungs he drank in
wafting vapors --
gasoline and oil mixed
with summer air. Ears inhaled
tempered buzzing from
a one-horsepower propelled blade
chained, decisively ripping
trunks into stackable pieces
handed up to load where
he obediently stood inside
the paint-worn, metal bed
He would push down
oversized work gloves
from finger tip to palms repeatedly
The morning soaked his face
in their clearing where he wished lay
beside harvested timber --
tightly packed by him --
load approved by the cutter

They would return to wedge and split
stack and earn lemonade
on the tailgate
He would eventually learn
buzzings produced by cutters
were not always as even
as hewn wood

After the last meal
before sundown
he spent one more hour
dreaming inside
a temporary lair --
imagining a new man
to court his mother --
One who'd rub his head
when he passed
share a good word --
Who'd let him lay
next to him in the easy chair
(before too big to share)
read the castoffs
of Sunday sections
until breakfast
at the table in their den
off the kitchen
where she prepared
and called her loving
mealtime phrases

And before the last clothespin dropped --
the final blanket folded up
and stored in the cabin --
He took one look
into the sky
he missed
shrank
and sighed
Walking toward
the idling green truck
he glimpsed a man he had
not seen all weekend, who smiled
The man who taught how to
clip blankets to wire lines
with pins, he recognized
Good thing automatic
life silencers
have pins.


more edits pending

BOOK
Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋  (18+)
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
#1149750 by He’s Brian K Compton

15 Entries · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 20 per page   < >

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