10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind |
Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance like the others. You earn pretty medallions gallantly while other players buy, sell and trade at market to get ahead without moving an inch. Slow burn…hey? You’d rather keep your dignity, or try to figure out their game. That’s where you really get lost. Game full of misdirects leads right back to start over and over. You could have stayed on your quest. Now, you have this. Redacted, censored, gaslighted…must be doing something right, my old boss would say. I’m not a sociopath, he tells himself. Equal parts, then? Mom should have had me tested. Because, life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit ugly.Tap on them. It’s part of the quest…see where I’ve been; see who I am: Right. I redact myself. The beautiful mess you made. Who are you? If I’ve been denied the right of knowledge, I’ve earned the right to judge. | Without knowledge, who’s to judge? | No gavel; no voice. "...politely reedy but ambitiously eclectic—moving effortlessly from hen-picking and bottleneck slides to a full deck of chucka-chucka rhythm figures." I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost | I'm sorry you got caught in the middle. *Neurodivergent poet. *Don’t judge/hate. I love. *Honesty without mincing words. *Dump your prejudice outside my door. Hope you leave it on the way out. *Nothing to fear but people who surround themselves with rules, can’t be touched. *Real dialogue accepted. My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both. Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons to find boundaries, having no clue or told where they lie, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed. (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try). *The parenthetical lawyer up? Foot free, I’m all over the place. Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell the next boob that walks by. Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. But, I get it. You're sick of me. It's how I feel about myself when I dig deeper, push boundaries. Don’t care my words that aim for honesty, either brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit a target. Get a back off shoulder shot for asking your motivations to write…won’t get me to bend over backwards to appease, again. There’s no prize to eye, not properly incentivized. So, does it mean when dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got? Yeah, rigged. Yeah, other tables — other ‘games’. But, something in my gut I’ll never be rid. My Pluggers: You are an icon here. You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue} It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋" Your poetic muse is on fire! Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. Published four times with one a literary journal, including… "The Tender Core (Sedona)" I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing. August 28, 2006 this blog opened ▼
No specific aim going forward (2014) ▼ This is old…. What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on. Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting. If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I? …just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself. What Was NEW Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily. Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego. #amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY? Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door ▼ |
Inner Sanctum in a hole in the wall where a small door would go hung a single blanket, a curtain against light capturing dark; probed by a sturdy lens powered from a sleeve of c-cell batteries and determined aim. muffled noises could not penetrate the lair where the accumulator absorbed frequent fantasy of comic villains flailing, failing destruction of steel-willed heroes, brightly painted, flying. popcorn vigilantes and candy wrapper truants littered a fascinating theatre, a void the warden allowed as the outer-world crashed, collided like ink on matte. barred blue eyes seldom sought a framed horizon shining. divided from sneer of summer boys working mocking tongues like dark-hood rogues, hopeful balls that could sail with aim would not find his head. in that crawl space, the rap-rap-rap echoes followed by his murmured name no longer came. hollow youth inhabited a 2x4, plaster-wrapped void of non-conformity, five decades long. Infinite as expanding light, a shadowed man hides the child, brief in sanctity. firm to his hardwood, a life in negation. 5.31.20 4th draft submitted -- "The Taboo Words Contest ~ On Hiatus" Taboo Words: ISOLATION taboo words: lonely alone isolate boredom friends or any derivatives of these words |
Restrict me, ban me, censor me I implore My freedom of speech heretofore restricted My right to expression muffled like a mask against a deadly disease: the misuse of words formed by a one man army with a propaganda campaign against a redacting overlord and deemed by you, the owner of said business, Necessary to suppress with a corporate right to snub me snuff out what you see, er, I'm sorry, your fact checkers... or you could implore indifference don't react, stay these words of his/mine won't play but Twitter, the President of our U.S.A. what a snit, hey? he can just sign legislation to may this all go away? Well, I could have some fun thinking I could mix up a batch a potion of words and hurl at your expense but I've grown tired of you and of making a self-defense... so, sign the executive order which to him seems 'turnabout is fair play' this is a democracy and I can sue your pants off? if I don't get me way? You're putting a cap on that right, Don? Meh. We'll see. 5.28.20 Just a poem made up in a flash and will likely forget about for a few days. Interesting, though. Freedom of speech is not good for some businesses, I gue-ess. {that's a lilting syllable, right there, that was. uh-ha.) |
In my haste to weed this late Spring I cast a gaze upon you in the hard ground my spade seldom seeks to loosen roots. You do not flower anymore amid rock, moss, wayward ash seeds and pine needles mixing in acidic, red soil that I assumed you once reveled in. You were dropped in a cavern of spreading ground cover that dared crawl beneath the fence, enmesh every hopeful yawning thing waking, yearning to bloom for sour eyes. Seldom do I seek the succor of visual splendor afforded perennial lovers of new seasons. I look upon you and realize my ignorant foot half planted on your brood, also struggling for droplets of anything, and sunlight, that would do. Indifference not my usual candor; and, my grief for brief beauties who survive like you, gone. Despite a neglectful father, your stalk hearty and vibrant green. Despite my ignorance, you remain dutiful, as if vigilant, to reproduce again and again, and remind this poorly clad gardener what I’ve ignored -- that I loved you. 22 lines free verse 5.28.20 6.12.20 edit while gardening, if you can call it what I do thoughts: ▼ It is what it is and that's sad. I do love you. Maybe I just don't love me anymore. |
Here I am your trampoline Bounce on me for joy -- durable, tethered, ready for bare feet -- or shoes and the weight stretching my fraught core send you high, higher == go higher, I implore Higher than you were before Make sure make sure you know you're always welcome to come back play more. Here I am a pliable surface your trampoline -- hardened, flexible, prepared Remove the tarpaulin to rocket your torpedoes thrust from this pad lift despair fly higher == in this air because I need know Need know you're happy know I serve a purpose -- you. Come back often Come back evermore but don't leave me here, alone. 5.25.20 edit 5.28.20 edit 6.12.20 |
from the man brandishing a gun to the boy dangling swung legs from the tailgate of his father's produce truck metaphoric images entangled in cop talk and sentimentalism of things fictionalized embellished by the sequestered fool speeding through these parallel portals to realize neither and both exist in him until the day he dies until a magic gun does materialize in his incapable hands. when is father coming back? he was never there to begin with, boy when do the police come? you have to commit a crime to get acknowledged so, without handcuffs I write and without the heart of a boy or a parent arriving aimless I plunder on through these words yearning to find some meaning. what a useless place I thrive in 5.23.20 just more word soup to stir do you think there will ever be a point? um, you don't have to answer hypotheticals |
I see where you swim in circles, in groups In concentric shapes I merge with the fray mimic the movements see tailfins bend, redirect separate, move away splintered swimmers smooth dive amid hydrilla hidden Have you gone away? The sun warms a fool in this ocean pool alone in open water hovering hopeful no predators, ready to play I want to teach you my game, but rather than acknowledge, you move away Wait until I'm ashore for dinner and return to the streams where we could play 5.18.20 Supposed to be about not wanting to join that way How some fish don't let other fish join because they are different, unwelcome, don't know the game Even though these fish don't play by the dictated rules, make up their own game Can't get the gist, mood right |
Don't cool your blood Before eyes locked to text, read Your breathless poetry to the open chamber, Stir the dead. Your flesh is there's Replicated Veins vibrant must purge To still the eager, pale skin red In the hollow heart yearning eternal fulfillment Mind fixed on an endless sea Of warm relatives. 5.17.20 Playing with words, concepts with some structure haphardly formed, forming. It's about leaning into your poetry like recitations to an audience of fellow writers, knowing they could judge you and learn to love you for following your own path inside their world. Have to be ready for acceptance, not rejection which in the past informed in a deconstructive way. The following preceded the above poem: "The Real Salinger" |
I know it's beautiful outside so why isn't it beautiful within as I'm looking out this window through your portal, a mirror reflecting back on me...? let the honeybee eat cake, eh Marie? though, you probably didn't say it. thresh every dandelion and daring wildflower brightly infecting vision at the break of Spring, the first Saturday get your fat ass on the saddle of that oil-spitting, smoke-spewing red rider grating silent air-waves spray the remaining 'noxious' weed with your molecular destabilizing blasts, sparing perfect green from invaders, spare the colony of Arian blades from the shade of those pesky, multi-armed giants towering above, daring compare to, a lush carpet for tender bare feet so nimble, dare shadow dutiful tulips arriving, bordering on perfect, multi-colored symmetry of pretty maids in a row that somehow sprung up; despite the wayward pollen you so desperately avoid, need collected, inseminate these things that bring us outdoors. 5.16.20 meh. I will work on later. |
I hope you know darling I can't be the wild garden butterfly haphazardly flapping white wings before your aromatic hyacinth, lily of the valley bell sprays, amid spring tulips daring symmetry and other hand-me-down heirlooms longing my tender hands weed, divide, surround your beautiful, wide eyes envisioning eternal symphony, nearing like infinity, in an instant taken by storm, gnawing rodents and bespecked insects with voracious appetites. I'll be white-winged wherever you are, flowing but separating from our past to move beyond, fading forgotten into the blue, clouded vault of mystery -- beyond the dust of towering pine swaying, judging -- and below the ground with soil ever-loving, always nurturing our shared desire of blooms sprouting, and graceful garden butterflies showing. Coda The most beautiful melody at memorial you can't hear is playing in my ears while we share a bench alone eternally. You clutch my hand as if knowing my suffering here in silence on earth, while we stay together, apart, or in bed each night as you tenderly clutch my soul's remains. My eyes are only for the spinning ceiling fan whooshing away sounds repeating in my tiresome head, eroding guilt I cannot fully love you until I know you celebrate me again. I've come to realize I broke the vision you had for me, of a silent knight long ago, when the white steed suddenly died at your distressed feet...when you realized I was now the helpless one, and you would have to shoulder me from then and beyond every tomorrow until I'm ash scattered on breezes landing me in the hopeful, morning bed with delightful things I never had eyes to appreciate, like your longing for my soul's return to you, darling. 5.16.20 "Dirt Buffet (It Is Your Fault)" Tell me I don't belong among you; give me a real reason and I swear if it's honest, fair and true, I'll go. |
In a field of words, I haphazardly harvest life's little treasures. Unkempt, sprawling verses I carry home, falling out of pants pockets, to shove In a tall glass from your cupboard; hoping you'll fill with water. from "Flowers"
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You might not be long for this world. Never seen so tragic a tale. Let’s get our breath , take a moment. Exhale. I spied a child of two roar. I held a wonder at four who never feared but soared. I tailed you at your insistence at your first dance, swung by Daddy’s able arms, the abandoned to watch you prance about that gymnasium floor. But elementary dreams faded, broke. In my arms it was seldom spoke whether you knew the words or could reveal a heart not meant to mend for hands feebly making self-amends. I wanted to leave you gleaming In shuttered world now streaming Before I hit that golden horizon I wonder...could I have danced with you more? 5.11.20 6.12.20 edit written about my fifteen year old she/he kid who's left us all wondering how this is all going to play out after anti-depressants and adderol. |
something I shared with 🌑 Darleen - QoD one her message board called "Invalid Item" . let's see who comes up with something first... She kissed a dead man on the mouth in his eleventh hour, before time ran out to win her affection. She held his face in her hands, guided his lips to hers, and they fully compressed... actually inspired by a 2010 Australian flick featuring Peter Dinklage courting a woman he'd never met with a letter he wrote to appease a promise to his dying wife to seek love and not be alone.
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By the tall window he sipped coffee, never letting go of the handle while caressing the cup with the other hand, where it hovered over the receiving plate. I watched him from the alcove of my work area, where I scanned for tables to bus and patrons needing a refill; though, it was the waitresses' job. I did it for the pony-tailed blonde with nylon skirt that pleasingly slid up her long thighs, whenever she reached beneath the heat lamps for orders. I served her because she could speak to a lonely dishwasher's heart with warm words eliding every so tenderly over each bird-sung syllable until her break. He sat in the same window booth most everyday I worked and only ordered the java that seemed sustain him enough to go on reveries viewing a warm scene. Did I mention that I knew him, felt compelled to serve him, knowing some universal thing that linked us. His name was Ken, my brother's father-in-law. We nodded acknowledgment of one another most days, before I started assisting Sarah, who took her breaks, today with Bill, the other dishwasher, out back. I watched Lisa cover tables, but not for this girl who spun my dizzied heart, that needed her warming words when I covered her area on that day when Ken slumped in his booth and stopped peering out the tall window, while I wondered if anyone was going to check to see if the divorced man was okay. I stood in my alcove, and in horrified silence, as the ambulance drove away, never moving, never gesticulating, to this day wondering if I have it in me to cover tables for Sarah. If I could just hear the words spoken Can I warm that up for you? once in the years it took since I quit that job. Bill grew old. Sarah aged, too. Lisa is a grandmother and I'm with Ken today, and never mind where I've been. I've never known the meaning of warm. 5.11.20 |
Summer Silencer He needed an automatic life silencer from the moment his own screams pierced the dense skull, rooted in its stem to the core until he was hollow -- A boy alone flashlight in tent blankets warmed in dark swaddled him in -- With musty old pillows that sometimes produced a curious insect crawling across his pale head perusing comics or colorful Sunday section at their woodland camp beneath the pinnings on the clothesline where he hid from them all day When supper was called he would hesitate until a quilt peeled back produced her expectant face and light behind it as she repeated her words lovingly Time to eat Not a command, a call to face the snarling man at their table When he wasn't there life outside the silencer continued -- By the creek, spying for frogs -- Under the apple viewing bees serenading pink buds -- Along the power line that made a trail -- rugged properties connected Strawberries would sometimes hide beneath red and green leaves still too early for maturation for a child who could remember a happy man who drove their green truck bouncing them -- unbelted on saddled stead -- over uneven terrain to collect wood discarded by yellow hat utility workers busied with clearing their trail With small lungs he drank in wafting vapors -- gasoline and oil mixed with summer air. Ears inhaled tempered buzzing from a one-horsepower propelled blade chained, decisively ripping trunks into stackable pieces handed up to load where he obediently stood inside the paint-worn, metal bed He would push down oversized work gloves from finger tip to palms repeatedly The morning soaked his face in their clearing where he wished lay beside harvested timber -- tightly packed by him -- load approved by the cutter They would return to wedge and split stack and earn lemonade on the tailgate He would eventually learn buzzings produced by cutters were not always as even as hewn wood After the last meal before sundown he spent one more hour dreaming inside a temporary lair -- imagining a new man to court his mother -- One who'd rub his head when he passed share a good word -- Who'd let him lay next to him in the easy chair (before too big to share) read the castoffs of Sunday sections until breakfast at the table in their den off the kitchen where she prepared and called her loving mealtime phrases And before the last clothespin dropped -- the final blanket folded up and stored in the cabin -- He took one look into the sky he missed shrank and sighed Walking toward the idling green truck he glimpsed a man he had not seen all weekend, who smiled The man who taught how to clip blankets to wire lines with pins, he recognized Good thing automatic life silencers have pins. more edits pending
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