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Rated: 18+ · Book · Spiritual · #1149750
10k views, 2x BestPoetryCollection. A nothing from nowhere cast words to a world wide wind
Like one of those adventure games where you go off questing in different directions but you don’t advance like the others. You earn pretty medallions gallantly while other players buy, sell and trade at market to get ahead without moving an inch. Slow burn…hey? You’d rather keep your dignity, or try to figure out their game. That’s where you really get lost. Game full of misdirects leads right back to start over and over. You could have stayed on your quest. Now, you have this.

Redacted, censored, gaslighted…must be doing something right, my old boss would say. I’m not a sociopath, he tells himself. Equal parts, then? Mom should have had me tested. Because, life of turmoil produces stuff like this. Not going to call it beautiful agony…it gets a bit ugly.Tap on them. It’s part of the quest…see where I’ve been; see who I am:


         
                   
                                       
                   
                   
        
         


Right. I redact myself. The beautiful mess you made. Who are you?
If I’ve been denied the right of knowledge, I’ve earned the right to judge.
         |
Without knowledge, who’s to judge?
         |
No gavel; no voice.

"...politely reedy but ambitiously eclectic—moving effortlessly from hen-picking and bottleneck slides to a full deck of chucka-chucka rhythm figures."

I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

         |
I'm sorry you got caught in the middle.

*Neurodivergent poet.
*Don’t judge/hate. I love.
*Honesty without mincing words.
*Dump your prejudice outside my door. Hope you leave it on the way out.
*Nothing to fear but people who surround themselves with rules, can’t be touched.
*Real dialogue accepted.

My words collect, arrange on a kaleidoscope spectrum. The true experience/acknowledgment of my writing yet to come...long after I’ve left WDC, am dead, or both.

Truly been a blessing, but I've been pushing it — envelope, push world and all inhabitants away, push buttons to find boundaries, having no clue or told where they lie, where I've lived in your dark. Now and then, push dirt out of this hole; someone/thing/entity might envision me the way I need to be viewed. (if I knew what that was. Cryptic, I know. Try living in my dark, find comfort amid the strange, virtual walls that tempt me to try).
*The parenthetical lawyer up?



Foot free, I’m all over the place.
 
"Note: Poetry: life’s little interruptions amassing int..."
 

Best Poetry Collection 2X, nominated three years. What does it mean? I was enjoying myself, head bagged. A happy idiot. Something messed with that. I won’t be a coward; not starting feuds or wars over ideals and beliefs. We all know that’s a pile of crap packaged with dreams of pretty things to sell the next boob that walks by. *Clown*

Been more than I could imagine or expect. My achievements aren’t going on a LinkedIn wall. But, I get it. You're sick of me. It's how I feel about myself when I dig deeper, push boundaries. Don’t care my words that aim for honesty, either brave or veiled cowardice, flinchingly flung, inadvertently hit a target. Get a back off shoulder shot for asking your motivations to write…won’t get me to bend over backwards to appease, again.

There’s no prize to eye, not properly incentivized. So, does it mean when dealt the worst two cards before the flop, do the best with what you got? Yeah, rigged. Yeah, other tables — other ‘games’. But, something in my gut I’ll never be rid.



My Pluggers:
You are an icon here.*BigSmile*
You suffer, but you suffer brilliantly. Wow, what a great writer.{/blue}*Heart*


It’s like plugging myself, but using other people’s (reviewers) words…Review of "Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋"
Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance(d), lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence…It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

 
Published four times with one a literary journal, including… *PointRight*   "The Tender Core (Sedona)
I don’t submit because it’s too much work. Truly alone, know no one cares to show they believe/support me. Lip service feeds delusion. I’ve seen a lot of smoldering and snow. Try not be cynical, work hard at openness and consideration — work, sooo…gut thing.

*Toilet* *RibbonW* Merit Badge in Taboo Words
[Click For More Info]

Brian,

Congratulations! You won 1st Place in Taboo Words with your fantastic poem, [Link to Book Entry #1027659]. 

I absolutely loved this! *^*Heart*^*

Rachel Merit Badge in Poetry
[Click For More Info]

    Thanks you for supporting the  [Link To Item #power]  with an order to the  [Link To Item #powergifts] ! We appreciate it. *^*Heartv*^* Keep writing the beautiful poetry. [Link to Book Entry #1027659] is an awesome poem! *^*Starv*^* ~Lornda

 
Love my process constructing and sharing visions in words collected (no small task considering personal and physical limitations, see below).


August 28, 2006 this blog opened

BOOK
SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days  (18+)
All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know.
#1300042 by He’s Brian K Compton


No specific aim going forward (2014)

 
What I used to say: 'Maybe, I just don't get it. Watch me fumble with my version of reality, expose ignorance as truth. You don't have to get me, either. But, wish someone would explain me to myself.' Now I say: *Cool* *FacePalm* Now: I was such a whore.
 


*Laugh*This is old….
What? Oh, this? A rhetorical, self-motivational speech I'm working on.
Don't just read the parts to construct your theory, as if to confirm (construed out of context) your opinion, mentally-stunted Neanderthal. Therapist wants me to be less negative toward myself. I see it as attacking, rather than being defensive. Fear I will chomp too many bullets unintentionally sent toward the unsuspecting.
If you can be triggered for stupid reasons, then I?
…just looked like me rolling around on the floor with myself.*RollEyes*
             



What Was NEW

Who am I, you ask? My mirror knows that question, repeated daily.

Just trying to create a little buzz, not boost my ego.

#amwriting #poetry #blog #contest #freeverse #award #bestpoetry #freyaridings #lyrics #music #video #YouTube

Can you believe it took this long for someone to put a quarter in me and push the button GET ANGRY?
 

Mud 4 My Eye: Is that you, Poo? 💩 Secret Back Door

The Best Poetry Collection on Writing.Com
September 30, 2021 at 12:10pm
September 30, 2021 at 12:10pm
#1018406


Finality is the last season,
how my heart fades, once absorbed
in a soul that needed my fuel, fed
itself until we extinguished --
a flame supernova-ed,
in a black hole devoured.
The extinguished could not rekindle
embers, long since sparked alive
by a lingering hope to live forever,
now time-worn.


9.30.21
12.29.21 edit

vaporized
September 30, 2021 at 12:00pm
September 30, 2021 at 12:00pm
#1018405
Another dawn sneaked in
at the foot of your bed
where I wiggled those toes,
once merry little piglets,
hidden 'neath covers,
protected from dread of dark.
Nights monsters stirred
but did not bite because
I was at your side
to chase away any fright,
soothed.

Every day that goes by,
I wait by the hollow door
for your return,
again and again until
you don't need me anymore.
No monsters but me, I feel,
stand in your way. Yet,
I realize there are toes
that need to be tickled,
soothed.

Futile,
how long I wait
until you cry out again
in your monstrous night
to chase away this fright.
I can’t save you anymore.



27 lines, free verse

We’re in the throes of something.

9.30.21
10.6.21 edit
12.29.21 edit


September 28, 2021 at 8:00am
September 28, 2021 at 8:00am
#1018208
try too hard
it hurts more
when not good enough
when it comes easy

I have no control
still fear rejection
but something needs fill
an empty poet's soul

I could go insane
so when I empty
the red ventricles
like pockets spilling out
on your tables, I learn
what was hiding
what needs a purge
and it's not the words

try too hard
and they will never understand
my best is better
but can't find it in a pile
laid upon your bed-stand,
because it's stuck
in the beating vessel
plying inward seas, crying
for true souls who understand
a poor poet like me.


9.28.21
3.28.22 edit

a lonely boy/poet listening and enraptured by music from Cannons with new music hitting its stride. Fan forever because of Fire For You (on heavy rotation in my head).

Other inspirations:
"True Origins of Love Lost (Cannons-inspired)
"Quitting You (Fire For You inspired)


September 24, 2021 at 9:20pm
September 24, 2021 at 9:20pm
#1018003
In the sepia sea --
nothingness, but a
cuttlefish amid clouds
watching these thick masses thinning --
russets and golds
covering my weary head,
bury the green-bladed surface,
dying with me.
The glow intensifies one more time,
before fading over the fence
to hidden horizons.

I scan the dusks' red warnings.
Autumnal tides fumble
toward white solstice, pale,
decay a heart in personal purgatory,
yearning a perfect season
rewarm this soul
with still-beating heart, aching.



9.24.20
9.24/28.21 rewrite
18 lines
September 24, 2021 at 9:05pm
September 24, 2021 at 9:05pm
#1018002
Finality Is A Season

Some float down, as if from heaven, twirling,
mating with the air, bouncing on the invisible mattress,
slow spin back and forth to meet a calm green scene
fading, presenting to onlookers like me.

Some tumble through like wild gymnasts frolicking,
colliding with hard earth, dancing about obstacles
on their course -- hyper, join a swarm of mates to meet
a village of cloistered inhabitants fading,
appear before bystanders like me.

Some take their time, as if mother won't let them mature.
Hanging lonely, a child absent after recess, crying
for a purpose in this late season, fear natural selection
that plucks them from despair, cloying for her arm,
hide in her nest, never to meet true heaven on earth,
feed sorrowful eyes of witnesses like me who long to join,

but serve this perch by the window, now or for eternity.
A dull heart fears go out, play, as a final day viewed this way.



9.24.21 rewrite
20 lines

Shorter isn't better.
September 23, 2021 at 10:14pm
September 23, 2021 at 10:14pm
#1017945

Sploosh! Bus!!

Zipped in green nylon,
my muffled world in persistent Autumn rain.
Out the door into fresh morning adventure,
sploosh the thickest, muddiest ones
with tall, brand new rubber stompers,
thick and black and dry.

The dome of protection shrouded eagerness to clutch
the brightest, prettiest castoffs, clotting
verdant yards -- firm receptacles for the maples' disposal.
How they shuddered in blasts twisting twiney branches.
Not me.

Unbending form, buffeting invisible persistence,
would slow walk straight into rough gales,
with chugging arms' exaggerated thrusts.
I’d scream louder, a defiant storm in my own right,
mightily slicing waves with ample form.

Puddles divided, resected, circled back
to reform, receive minuscule, rainy offerings
in my observations in youth.
Rain gear, like an observatory, made it
all so distant -- partitioned, yet adjoined.

A world I could overwhelm
in hooded apparition each morning,
with harrowing climaxes — yellow flashes
in dim light. Helpless, when these seasons
got the best of my joy, trudge home to her to confess,
I need a ride.



9.23/25.21
27 lines, free verse

I want to be more nostalgic, in this way…but it hurt. Every time I have a negative experience, I want to quit…until I can forget. But then, repetition makes/helps me remember. Life can be a bit much. I just have to remember (to a point, and then quit thinking).



Our loved ones can be the cruelest, without realizing.
September 23, 2021 at 2:44pm
September 23, 2021 at 2:44pm
#1017930
a pale blue dot, an image from a voyage
long ago -- in your galaxy caught
departing a planetary neighborhood.
from its fringes, I note where you are.

one last look, my home planet.
you could be a billion light years away.
from this vantage, on my ecliptic plane,
a portrait of a fading world captured --

caught in the center of scattered light.
deflection, I suppose, from bright reduction.
a tiny point of light, if you strain to see.

home, with everyone you love,
everyone you know, everyone you've heard of --
every human who ever was lived out their lives
where you are --

the aggregate of joy and suffering,
thousands of confident religions,
ideologies, and economic doctrines --

every hunter and forager, every hero and coward,
all creators and destroyers of civilization,
king and peasant, every young couple in love,

every mother and father, hopeful child,
inventor and explorer, every teacher,
corrupt politician, superstar, supreme leader,
saint and sinner and followers --

the history of a species lived there --
on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena,

challenged
by a point of pale light,
in the great, enveloping, cosmic dark.

In obscurity, in all vastness, no hint
help will come from elsewhere
to spare pale blue insignificance.

this dot spins on axis, fixedly,
as if waiting for some deity
come down from invisible heavens.

a tiny world floating on the perimeter,
daring near the center of all creation,
functioning to give purpose to anyone
who shall pass, miss one so minuscule

as a pale blue dot.


43 lines
9.23.21
last two lines hidden because I added for contest and feel foolish now.

borrowing a reference and book title from Carl Sagan about beliefs of the existence of God
and what man could do to better himself, make this a better place for all who struggle.

if it still speaks to me long after I write it, it must be so.
September 16, 2021 at 7:06pm
September 16, 2021 at 7:06pm
#1017568
You've been fighting the chain so long,
wrapped around the pole beneath
her whitened load, lingering on a line, low.
The tether tightens, restricts desire
tarry yards among other leashed mongrels,
hungry to meet nostrils between buttercups,
belonging to neighbors on porches,
rocking on chairs with firearms cocked
that dare an underfed, blue-eyed mutt,
who'd bite your legs if you dare near.

You watch them all, idling through time,
wondering if the doghouse would ride along,
in unbridled thirst for freedom of the agony:
wavering trees un-sniffed, the roses to dig,
or puddles to slosh and gleaming wheels unchased.

What can an animal like me savor
from a vision of all scenes contained
in limited purview of a punishing society?

Set me free, I'll still bite your hand,
before I chew the rest of this scenery
hungrily, angrily until the catcher arrives,
puts a bullet in the salivating head
sneering, daring your wrath
justify why I must sit and wait for my bones, ache
for that pull of gravity to drive me down
between the blades of pissed-on crabgrass.



9.16.21
10.6.21 edit
26 lines, free verse

I'm not your animal and I can't wait for a chance to show you how sharp my teeth. Tethered so long, it begs the question: would I humbly lie before one who calls themself my master?
September 16, 2021 at 6:54pm
September 16, 2021 at 6:54pm
#1017567
September 9, 2021 at 1:34pm
September 9, 2021 at 1:34pm
#1017101
My gain of function --
informed by you --
are words that permeate
this dense room

Experimental
with scientific leaning
to understanding why
a boy could get so hurt
by playing amongst you --
innocent, now self-aware,
how to take care with
a pad, a pen,
and a rescuing imagination
for diseases sprung
from spiteful tongues.

Ever learning the cost,
no longer feeling lost
in this throng, a crowd
that swarms a soul
navigating, assimilating
soon regulating a heart
to beat a bit slower,
to get to the end
and exit this room
with just a shred
of dignity.

9.9.21

Something I made up, now that I understand the meaning of 'Gain Of Function' which really seems vague.

As staunch as a stone in a moss-covered quarry, will anyone roll on their position if it's proved Dr. Fauci lied to Congress, lied to the world? Or, does he have an excuse from someone higher up?

How many licks to get to the center of this Coronavirus lollipop? The world may never know.

The poem was about me and not about Covid, just liked that scientific method as a metaphor about assumptions about how people apply their science to one who would dare rub elbows with the rest of the world, hoping to fit in. It could relate to how Jayne feels about those lame birthday wishes. Sorry I didn't send one, because I would try to make it meaningful, for what it's worth.
September 6, 2021 at 1:31pm
September 6, 2021 at 1:31pm
#1016897
*LeafO*
Why does it feel the last minutes
in this long loping freedom I stride
are the unaccompanied moments spared
without you by my side?
Why is this purgatory for one
who wishes every moment of every hour
be in your arms, two singing, yet
the empty soul is being devoured?

My eyes long for a vision to materialize
in this vexing freedom I abide.
I consume life with lust in this emptiness
until the hour you re-arrive.
Why must every moment we're together
make me realize slow death nears,
as you gently whisper your nothings
into unrelenting, unnerved ugly ears?



9.6.21

breathe life into me, Sarah:

September 6, 2021 at 1:19pm
September 6, 2021 at 1:19pm
#1016895
ক‌বিঃ আয়াস

ক‌বিতাঃ গীতসম্ভার (১)

যা কিছু ঘ‌টি‌বে
‌ তোমার জীবন ত‌রে
স্রষ্টার উপর আস্থা রে‌খো
থাক‌বে তু‌মি ‌ধৈর্য‌্য ধ‌রে।

‌ নিরাশ হ‌য়ে কখনও কভু
‌ দোষা‌রোপ তাই ক‌রোনা
হয় তো স্রষ্টা ভা‌লো কিছু
রা‌খিয়া‌ছে কিন্ত নয় তোমার জানা।

আমরা যাহা দে‌খি নয়‌নে
হয়‌ তো সে‌টি সত‌্য ভে‌বে
আঁধা‌রের পর আ‌লো আ‌সে
জা‌নিও তা তোমরা ত‌বে।

স্রষ্টার লীলা পা‌রি‌বেনা বু‌ঝি‌তে
‌ তোমার ও তাই ক্ষুদ্র জ্ঞা‌নে
‌ বিন্দু হ‌‌য়ে সিন্দুর খবর
জা‌নি‌বে তা কেম‌নে।

ঝড় হ‌য়ে আ‌সি‌বে বিপ‌দের ঘনঘটা
তব তোমার চা‌রি‌দি‌কে
উদ্ধার পা‌বে নি‌শ্চিত
জা‌নিও তু‌মি সেখান থে‌কে
‌ কেবল ‌‌ধৈর্য‌্য ধ‌রে থা‌কো চে‌য়ে
একমাত্র স্রষ্টার দি‌কে।


9.6.21

What?
You don't know.
September 5, 2021 at 2:22pm
September 5, 2021 at 2:22pm
#1016830
He took aim at me with piercing blue,
surfacing beneath a wrinkled scowl penetrating
the core my timid humanity.
His admonishing words, deftly crafted to scram!
beat it!
struck as arrows do, in a small child heart.

Get out of my yard lifelong bellowed,
by he, master of a manicured lawn
with bright peonies as high as my eye.
From daffodil trumpets in Spring
to shady, symmetrical maples
clumping gutters with a clutter:
orange, yellow, brown, but especially purple,
like my bruised ego where I wandered
wanting to sample with greed a handful
of flowery perfection beneath a wide window.

When he died, so too his craft.
Trees toppled, perfection excavated
for the gleam of a bright swimming pool,
now clumping from unrelenting Autumn irony.



9.5.21/
9.24.21 edit 10.1.22 edit
19 lines



Written for a Fistful of Nothing
September 3, 2021 at 6:09pm
September 3, 2021 at 6:09pm
#1016701
What possesses me?

I’m bothered by information flowing through me
from room to room.
No filter, nothing to deflect
as it seeps through pores of thin flesh
and into veins
navigating avenues to ventricles of my heart
that fuels an empty soul.

These particles that fly through the air,
a swarm.
They are never ending, and insisting
that they possess my impulses,
as I hold tight to something,
like you. That I should open my eyes
and illuminate the world,
that I should genuflect.

This body isn’t the host,
doesn’t need possession.
But wants to ask,
how did you know the lonely so well,
would unwittingly open the door
on the pretense
I’d let you in?



9.3.21
I decided I like this. Usually dislike what I write. But only because of what it expresses, because it lacks what most pursue as poetry with clever devices to convey. This is more lyrical, straightforward, having a song's quality. Though, it is just the bridge. No chorus or repeated words needed. It is about feeling manipulated and confronting the abuser with wonder.
September 3, 2021 at 5:20pm
September 3, 2021 at 5:20pm
#1016698
I would die with you now, alone.
You throw your golden hair through this shared space.
Me, incapacitated, cannot fully glance
in my immunocompromised state --
that you couldn't possibly know
how little I have left to live. But,
I drink in your bared, sun-glorified skin --
hold tightly to a vision:
the torso and one strong hand to lead,
locked in our tango stance, dreaming
dip, dip, dip me!
from red lips.

Our love echoes through unlit hours,
before my frost finally arrives.

And even if I didn't know I was dying,
I would lie with you in your deathbed,
enwrapped in my arms, synchronizing two hearts
linked to the coming disaster -- that
beauty in this life never lasts, but
fades and crumbles into the dust that
raises up another. In my chronic chair of conformity,
I peek as those tresses fall to meet
the arched back, black-tight leotard
easily revealing form I long lock
adjacent to a wretched husk of humanity,
the withering, expiring skin,
to lock eyes throughout each night
and every dawn, sung by a throng of worshippers,
who had a fraction of what we could have had,
if not divided
by a generational tide.
And ignorance that an old man can still appreciate
a figure publicly displayed,
re-inspiring utopian dreams
that could never materialize, or conceivably form
because we're all dying, honey,
and you should know that.

Don't live like you're dead, like me, but
don't hate me because you're beautiful.


9.3/26.21

Reconsidered to make edits. One last look later.

sort of a response poem
"⭐ Elegy

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