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Friday, Apr. 19, 2024

9:31pm EDT

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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

StephBee - House Targaryen

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee - House Targaryen

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Jan 2, 2023 at 3:37pm
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I hurry down a grovel path
to hide from mighty blokes
residing where the mountains scream
at rabid city folks.

I soothe my wounds from acid tongues
among these squirrely butts
and count my blessings every time
White Rabbit brings me nuts.

K.E.

2 Like

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Dec 31, 2022 at 12:04am
In response to "The Telegram"

Nicely done. Eastern Montana has a BIG sky. I live in the west snuggled between mountains.

I loved the openness of Kansas... one reason why I'm going back to Isan in Thailand. "A little bit of who I am" resonates with wide open agricultural areas.

Dave

Dec 10, 2022 at 9:12am
In response to "The Telegram"

Thanks, Kat!

1 Like

Redtowrite

Dec 10, 2022 at 8:51am
In response to "The Telegram"

Paints a breathtaking visual and a feeling of freedom and lightness from our daily troubles. Beautiful writing. Holiday peace to you.

Kat

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Aug 16, 2022 at 6:44pm
In response to "GETAWAY"

So many 'b's. Alliterative on purpose?

The Caymans may not be far enough away. I'd go to Thailand... easier to get lost in a sea of people. Or Colombia.

1 Like

August 27, 2021 at 4:30pm

#1016244

Sweet Seduction

We are itching to
explore something new,
when August seduces us
with pleasant weather.
We leave together
in tie-dyed Volkswagen bus.

There's nothing finer
than roadside diner
to meet and greet local folks,
linger for a while
and share friendly smile
beneath sprawling ancient oaks.

Charming episodes
along country roads
give relaxing getaway
special energy--
so happy to be
on our way to Santa Fe!

Notes on the Alouette form of poetry ▼

1 Like • Comment

August 17, 2021 at 4:57pm

#1015773

Poor Thing

We are having a sweltering heat wave,
and Mom is burning to a crisp, poor thing.
She sits beside the pool with drink in hand
while her skin gets red and blistered, poor thing.

We are staying cool while swimming in pool,
unaware of Mom's dilemma, poor thing.
Come time to leave, we find her shriveled corpse,
still sitting there with drink in hand, poor thing.

Note ▼

3 Like • Comment

August 16, 2021 at 6:01pm

#1015716

School Days

Off to school we go
to learn a lot of new stuff
and meet some new friends,
exploring academics
and social life at same time.
Friday night sock hops
release all that energy
when homework is done.

Notes on the Oriental Octet form of poetry ▼

Like • Comment

August 16, 2021 at 12:26pm

#1015703

Military Service

Military service means
sacrifice
family
absence
struggle
sacrifice
danger
battle
death
sacrifice
military service means

Notes on the Skinny form of poetry ▼

Like • Comment

August 5, 2021 at 4:22pm

#1015195

Wicked Deeds

** Image ID #2255742 Unavailable **

Wicked deeds inflict
agony
brutal
burning
screaming
agony
beyond
imagination
raw
agony
wicked deeds inflict.

Notes on the Skinny form of poetry ▼

1 Like • Comment

August 3, 2021 at 12:42pm

#1015070

Haiku 8/3/21

Frogs and crickets croon
their summer serenade while
fireflies flicker, float.

Like • Comment

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