%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |   All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know. |
|
The Idiotic Ideate?? Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection to the falling action I feel now that settles in a white case.) Got to hustle to preserve the best of me before fully fading on that virtual horizon glowing more brilliant with each passing day to permanent nuclear winter. if people don’t get it, I don’t need to explain it. We kill all that’s beautiful before we question it’s purpose. So many people find it easier to think in the black and the white. God forbid you get lost straying in the gray. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad. The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone. In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted? Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head. [MY Chorus] In your house, I long to be Room by room, patiently I'll wait for you there, like a stone I'll wait for you there, alone "It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely." "You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself." ![Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
[Click For More Info]
Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in [Link To Item #2164876] with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!
Rachel *^*Heartv*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Second_Time_Around_Contest-2164963_14.gif)    "...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger I'm in love with carefully chosen words, arranged just so, audible, edible, to inhale. I attempt to post new poems and epiphanies daily with some links to what inspires. I am legally blind with a rare, genetic form of glaucoma. I'm described as "end stage" after two successful surgeries, still subject to further vision loss. Cataracts complicating matters. Writing Can get strenuous but seldom deters what yearns to emerge, despite a documented history of depression and recently diagnosed ADHD and undefinable social disorders and/or PTSD. My recent poetry:
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on... Making sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit? Flailing about in my own mediocrity, hoping to bust out. I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like to see other writers, too. Fiction is what you write, not who you are. Reinventing myself. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life. I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, as when young. fake me much more boring and unliberated than the real me. A world arriving as silent as that blossom in your garden that I told you about... |
| I was inspired by Charlie's blog post based on a prompt about virtue today. Here's what I responded: The goal is to be virtuous. Christianity teaches us to ask for forgiveness if we fail. True belief in something starts with oneself to do what feels right, as in 'do unto others...' It's easy to lose focus, falter and get back. Christians can be examples of some of the most virtuous people, because they have a guide book to follow. Most people just follow their whims, rather than their hearts. They stop listening to the nagging little conscience. Probably why we are divided rather than unified at this time in history. Americans especially do not get it. Talk to some Europeans or Canadians who know we were raised to be selfish, callous people. Is it systematic? Whatever it is, it's destroying Christianity. Doors have been open to all kinds of beliefs and lifestyles by people who cannot comprehend how to follow anything but their own desires. We all could use some time to step back and evaluate how important it is to be a good neighbor, contributor to humanity. Instead of being part of a system that preys on people's weaknesses, we could build strength through something more honorable...like the pursuit of virtue over happiness. I'm capable of being selfish. I'm capable of great love. Whatever gets rewarded the most is most evident. When virtue goes unnoticed, unrewarded, we are hurt. Pride suffers and we might rampage, hurt the wrong people. The divisive nature of our current condition has man fighting with man than taking a step back, cool off and realize the true rewards of not letting the manipulation of our free will destroy the fabric of our lives. Great blog post and very worthy subject to tackle. My two cents. 7.22.20 This post is inspired by my feeling that I could be a great contributor to any community I join. It's unfortunate that I am diminished by self-serving systems that do not honor virtue but condemn and punitively diminish participants who've had setbacks, but have also lent great support and virtuous acts along the way. The failure to recognize the balance struck only means that the machine does not feed you, but itself. Once your gifts have been harvested, it moves on. The whole notion of nurturing a society starts with honoring all who take part in it. The idealistic should not seem threats to the narrative forcefully applied to rhetoric the machine spews, but part of the balance and truth (however subjective) needed for fairness. Because, it is also witnessed by those who are not participants who could also contribute to 'the cause.' Unfortunately, the goal is more totalitarian than socialist in our little republic. Democracy is not recognized or honored, though patronized as a measure of softening the harsh voices. What does that mean?!  It means people pretend to tolerate me (this) when they would rather I roll over or go away. They either shun you, act indifferently, or find little ways to diminish you through offerings connected most personally to your pride. Or, the feign an amen but never return to support your cause. When they've exhausted all rhetoric and resources to guilt, shame or silence and you still stand? They ironically became the divisive, while I stand whole because I am alone and do not need anyone to hold me up. There are no expectations other than more ill will. I can remain guarded, but knowing they cannot do any more to reduce me is knowledge enough. |
| It was said that amongst you the person without sin could cast the first stone. Bluff called, right? Cancel culture world? You just cancel each other out with ignorance. But how would you know, religion was one of the first things on the list to get the axe. Read something other than social media. There are stories as old as time. Historically predictive. 7.10.20 |
| red, white and blue -- too faded pink and pastel blue for you a fruitless journey of a life misdirected you sit for an anthem, hat on like Holden Caufield, ready to take aim -- snipe ignorance on social media in a post-modern world of internet warfare where cancel culture shaming forms opinions from the shallow pool of ignorance -- formings about the feet of the frozen who cannot swim to save themselves -- from a puddle of rhetoric clinging father taught you in the wading pool. in this sea of life, you are cast adrift with other capsized passengers in floaties, drowning in virtual waters. you could close out the window, go home. but a new family lives there now. 7.10.20 five minute poem. reconsider later. |
| https://quillette.com/2020/07/02/america-exports-cancel-culture-to-the-world/ Drawing a circle around racism like truth. You can't argue because it's a trap. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/community/comments/3c4yrz/can_some... #DeSeanJackson will be the latest example. |
| Love him or hate him, he's right about totalitarianism and a movement afoot to get people to hate their country....so much so, they'll want to adopt a new form of government... https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefings-statements/remarks-president-trump-south-da... I guess burning the American flag outside the White House while Trump was in SD is emblematic of the ignorance and idiocy that is going to kill a good thing in our country. You realize that groups who want to see America fail are manipulating your emotions in a way that corrals you into a corner where you have to act in a way that supports a plan to destabilize a dominant country. Conquer from within? Get knowledgeable about history. Racism existed among every nation, it's just not about blacks or Hispanics in our country. There are people far off worse than us, but we are so focused on ourselves rather than having a world view, we are going to do more than just shoot ourselves in the foot. It's going to take time to uproot our democracy. I'm not saying Democrats are the devil. There is an element that is manipulating greed in our country, to take away fair paying jobs, freedom of speech, entitling others over Americans who already live here (to take low paying jobs) so we will eventually have to accept less (while the Billionaires keep raking it in) than what we had before to survive. They talked for years about ending Social Security. Look how much money was just doled out in a pandemic. Yeah, deficit. Tell it to the U.S. leaders who put troops in strategic locations throughout the world, as a super power, to maintain peace and order on this planet and know no bill collector is rapping at our door, unless the liberal element that has been manipulated and eroding, for whatever reasons, makes us roll over like the French during WW2. You can HATE politicians all you want. Dem or Pub they are all on the take. We can fight for democracy by not giving up on the principals and ideals that founded this country. If you let them Animal Farm our Constitution and laws to acquiesce, we're opening the door to something much bigger down the road that will tear the fabric of a once great nation. Wall Street doesn't care about you. They'll do business with China. You want to get paid less, live in a socialistic community with little to no freedom, keep it up. Hate is divisive. Hate is not what politicians do, but manipulate your ignorant emotions to act on it. Need to get yourselves educated. Get tough. Get street smart, or take it in the behind. And really, it's your children that are going to suffer because we have been spineless rather than strong in the face of adversity. Yeah, Trump can make me cringe, roll my eyes, think he should keep his mouth shut. Scramble his damn Twitter account. He's not a diplomatic leader. If he's smart, he'll get someone who can do it so he can focus on what he does best: keep our country economically strong. If we had a better alternative to Joe Biden, maybe more like Bernie Sanders, I'd consider flipping. I have to do what's right despite an arrogant type who is hard to support. But, you have to consider the lesser of two evils at this point. I don't want our country to plunge into darkness. 7.4.20 7.5.20 7.6.20 Addendum: I'm also inflicted. I have known pain from discrimination. I also know that I will never be acknowledged alone. Without a moral majority there is (can be) no law? I'm not good at correctly recalling philosopher's quotes. Sir Thomas Aquinas? Anyway, if the people get fully behind the movement, government and politicians will bend to it. Look how the Republicans caved just recently on wearing masks during this pandemic. Even Trump got behind it. It's because when we make our feelings known, unified, we are undeniable. The apathy in country comes from indulgence in all the distraction that Ayn Rand pointed out. Simple as sports to social media. We have a new generation that will essentially not know how to survive without their parents. Who did that? Parents? Life got a lot harder by making it easier, somehow. And we are becoming more ignorant of history and our rights as citizens as long as we have convenience stores with overpriced coffee on tap and streaming media to take us away from all the ills we cannot solve alone. Driverless cars over mass transportation?  Apathy. Long knew of it. Have watched it envelop a jaded nation. You and I will leave this world with our idealistic visions, as they dumb it down for future generations who'll be satisfied in a virtual, meaningless existence. Maybe, we're headed toward socialism. I'll take that over a police state. But, I will not stand by the corruption of our freedom of speech. Which, if used ignorantly, will convince future morons they can do without, as long as they can blather on about their feelings in pointless social forums. Now, I have to write more meaningless words in this realm, hopeful and starving, to be discovered through some serendipitous fantasy by a greater audience, as I'm plagued by the complacency within. I love input, keeping it real. We need more honesty and wisdom, as I value civil discourse above all. It purposes me here, at least. |
| Yes, COVID_19 has not been as tragic as the Spanish Flu of 1918. Consider: history teaches, global advances in approaches to infectious diseases, best practices of medicine today, more prepared to handle these outbreaks and lots of government dollars to throw at cures. Where are we at? 130,000 US deaths and only four months in. Spanish Influenza took 20 months and roughly 675,000 lives. What's our over/under now? And, you're worried about wearing a mask. It's life or death, you dehumanizing, ignorantly prideful people. They got the message about masks in 1918. Ignorance today makes it worse. Get off the damn bar stools and go grill in your backyard. Do I have to tell you what to do next? Get creative without your precious routines of sports and alcohol. |
| https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201704/forms-emotional-and-verbal-abuse-you-may-be-overlooking This article is what I have been searching for and describes everything I struggle with on the home front. It has only one assertion I disagree with and one realization for me that makes me empathize with my abuser, that they also suffered childhood shame. And what the article doesn't fully realize, my abuser has employed my own offspring against me effectively. I see the patterns now and what I can do to approach these flaws in our relationship 25 years plus... What I learned from the article is the relationship reached a new dynamic after we we're married, after we had kids. Things were said that saddened and worried me that made me feel we were losing a grip on a fun, unfettered relationship that was strong before our vows. In retrospect, there have been sign posts along the way that make me openly wonder about events that are new mysteries to me. Too personal to share here. I'm just putting it out there, in here. You get to see my warts. I'm trying to help you see why I feel disenfranchised, angry, and act out toward authority because of my past and how it still haunts me now. I think you take too much credit for what you think being a part of this community has done to me, rather than for me. Being held out as a lowly black case has allowed me to process all that I've experienced through writing and putting it in perspective. Using whatever guilt, shame or indifference you employ to keep me out of your clubhouses only inspires me to investigate further. I would love to expose all the manipulation to the world. All I have is this blog to warn others who have been abused that people in your life lurking may be using your kryptonite against you, employed for their own gain. It's okay to question their methods, their game, if something doesn't smell right to you. If they shame you or make you feel bad for these feelings, it's another sign that they are only kicking the dog and not the angels they proclaim themselves to be. 7.3.20 7.12.20 edited for one word (why can't original post date just appear at top?) |
 Log in to Leave Feedback |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
In the Falkland Islands, internet is very limited and very expensive. The place I'm currently staying only lets me use it in the middle of the night, so when I have to get up at 3 am to check my texts (no cell service to the US here unless I'm on the internet) or WdC, I don't do nearly as much as I used to. 
I currently have 2 very long emails I still need to get to from several days ago. Anyway, I miss everyone, but I also miss sleep, so there's that. 
Have you spoken to the doctor about your vision problems lately? I know there are special glasses for it because I have to wear them to read much ever since the brain injury. It's part of why I now only listen to audiobooks instead of reading regular books. It took 8 years for anyone to diagnose it because I have a brain injury and while one might think it would be obvious to me that I see double, it wasn't. Partly, my brain does a fair job of compensating. But also, partly, you use your brain to realize and understand that the 2 images you constantly see are double vision and something you should mention to your eye doctor. Since my brain was damaged, even basic things like that can escape me. 
I never once thought to mention it, even with annual eye exams in the Army and an exam every 2 years at the VA. Though, in my defense, since it happens in something like 41% of people with a brain injury, it should have been discovered by an eye doctor much sooner. 
I know doing that activity is a CRAP TON of work. But you made a difference in lives, not just his, but for all the people he's reviewed since. 
Well done! 
