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You don't need to read this. This is not the blog you are looking for. |
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Every now and then I have a "short" idea and put it here. I am an old man, and not just on the outside. Even my inner self has become bald, hunched, and wrinkled. So if you have even a smidgen of vitality flowing in your veins, you might find what I say to be insufferably archaic, old-fashioned, perhaps even antediluvian. I don't really expect anyone to read this blog. Except me, of course. But if you do happen to read it and like to argue, then please comment, because I will argue about almost anything. Entry with the most comments is "Invalid Entry" 
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| I bought some Double Chocolate Brownies made by Nature's Bakery and I noticed the blurb on the box said, "Crafted with thoughtful ingredients". Obviously a product aimed at intelligent people, eh? (Disregarding the grammatical error of implying the ingredients can think) So I checked the list of ingredients... Stone Ground Whole Wheat Flour Brownie Filling .....Date Paste .....Cane Sugar Syrup .....Chocolate ..........Cocoa Liquor ..........Cane Sugar ..........Non-Dairy cocoa Butter ..........Vanilla Extract .....Citrus Fiber Dried Cane Syrup Canola Oil Cocoa Powder (processed with alkali) Natural Flavors Sea Salt Baking Soda Flax Seed Hmmm, that does seem rather thoughtful. Not just "flour" but "whole wheat" flour and not just "whole wheat flour" but "stone ground whole wheat flour". And I like the cane sugar instead of corn syrup. I approve. That "flax seed" at the end is kind of humorous. Since ingredients are supposed to be listed in order of relative quantity, there must be only one flax seed in the brownie.  |
| We have a small black ant here that we call sugar ants. They are super tiny. They climb up to my third floor balcony and hunt for crumbs on my railing where I often eat a snack. I noticed that each of the ants in the ascending trail would stop and briefly touch antenna with the ants in the descending trail. They communicate with what we would call scents. Also the trail itself is composed of scent. I began crushing the ants on the railing near where I was. Dying ants emit a "death" scent. The new arrivals found that interesting. I let some of them escape and noticed that their meetings with the ascending ants were much longer and the ascending ants seemed hesitant. Wow! Were they actually able to say: "Trouble ahead! Better be careful!" After a while the ascending ants began to pile up where the ascending trail met the railing and then the ants returned down the trail apparently now changing its scent from "food ahead" to "danger ahead" because the flow of ants stopped! So much intelligence in a creature so small. Amazing, amazing, amazing... |
| Occasionally I run into them. I encountered a cockroach in my kitchen who waved his antennae at me in complicated gestures... I am not a common thief! I am not a house roach. I live in the woods, but a bird attacked me and I lost a leg and now life is very difficult for me so I am begging you to just let me have a few crumbs of food off your kitchen floor. Only the edge of the bug spray caught him so he didn't die right away... You sonafabitch! All I asked for was a little compassion. I only have 5 legs and now they are useless. By tomorrow I'll be a dried husk on your kitchen floor if a giant house spider doesn't get to me first. I don't have giant house spiders... What do you know, you idiot? You didn't think you had roaches, either. |
| Younger Americans don't really know what the phrase "Make America great again" means to older Americans. During the 1930's America was in a severe depression. In fact, that was the era when "government assistance" programs were created (by FDR). Then came WWII and Europe was being devastated. America finally joined the war after being attacked by Japan. Our entire industrial output shifted over to making war materials. Fortunes were made and since the American Homeland was never attacked or bombed, our infrastructure survived the war. Meanwhile, everywhere else the infrastructure was heavily damaged and American help was needed. The years after WWII ended were hugely profitable to American businesses. And the population had put off having babies during the 5 year war, so there was a huge population surge - new schools built, lots of clothes being sold. This was the era when the Interstate Highway System was conceived and built. Can you imagine trying to get it built today? It wouldn't happen. The point of this history lesson is that the years from 1945 to 1970 were the high point of American greatness. By 1970 we had not only built the Interstate Highway System, but we had put a man on the moon and invented solid state electronics, color television, computers, jet planes, and so much more.. Only us oldsters remember vacuum tubes and Dad with the back of the TV off replacing tubes. So those of us alive back then have fond memories of when America ruled the world. As for me, personally, I know America will never be that "great" again. China is already planning a mission to Mars. What if they beat us there? But recovering our lost "greatness" is an appealing fantasy for many oldsters. Now you know why.  |
| It's not true that everyone wants to remember all of history. For example, some Germans wish they had never heard of WWII and Nazis and the Holocaust. How many Americans would like to see memorials to Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Washington DC? After all, it was a pretty significant event when a military for the first time used a bomb to kill 100,000 men, women, and children in an entire city. And not once, but twice. And what about Germany? No A-bomb for them? Why? Because they were Caucasians? Japanese internment camps in USA but no German internment camps? History can be unpleasant. Confederate Memorials commemorate the fighting spirit of the South, but unfortunately there is all that other baggage with it like the slave trade. In the long run it's probably best for the general peace that we don't remember the Civil War anymore than we have to. |
| Temperature swings are a routine feature of earth's climate. They occur regularly and are called glacials during the cold phase and interglacials during the warming phase. The earth has been in an interglacial period known as the Holocene for more than 11,000 years. In other words, global warming is a natural feature of the earth. Does the emission of greenhouse gasses increase it? Yes, but the earth will eventually swing back into a cold phase no matter what humans do. In fact, in some distant future they may be desperately pumping greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere in hopes of not freezing to death. So my conclusion is yes, there is global warming, but no need to blow a gasket about it, folks. If you have beachfront property, then now might be a good time to sell it before it becomes worthless. |
| 48-HOUR CHALLENGE: Media Prompt Deadline: 6:00pm WdC time Sunday, May 21st 2017! "You Raise Me Up" a song performed by Josh Groban I generally dislike this type of song. The tune is a reworking of a hundred similar tunes. Same with the theme of the song, "you raise me up on your shoulders" being somewhat like "you are the wind beneath my wings". I just don't respond well to this kind of "inspirational" song. However, it did take an interesting turn toward the end when it began a series of changes where it was transposed up a key, the volume increased, and dozens of additional singers brought into it. I do like that kind of spectacle. But I will never listen to this song again and I only watched the YouTube video so I could write down my take on it and meet the 48 hour challenge. |
| Fascinating "Web of Lies" newsletter. I think there may be a connection between the abnormalities you described and our normal lives of wakefulness and dreaming. I've had a lot of experience with dreaming thanks to sleeping problems and I think dreams offer some insights into the way the mind may work or fail to work. There is one type of dream which is so real that it seems like reality. Waking from this type of dream is very difficult. I remember once it took several seconds for me to "return" to reality and the illusion of the dream world being my true reality was perfect. It was an intense experience. But it suggests that it's not impossible for the "dream creation" process of the mind to take over and be the dominant process. If that happens, then a lot of the bizarre things you described would follow just because the person is no longer living in a reality based on perception only, but has the dream element added to it. And they don't know it. They can't even say anything about it because there is no way for them to know. In fact, how do I know how much of my current reality is dream-based instead of perception-based? I don't know. All I can do is try to be vigilant. Look for contradictions. Be flexible in my thinking and always leave open the possibility that I am wrong. |
| I dreamed Vladimir Putin spent the night at my house. Yes, I know dreams can be about anything and usually cobble together bits and pieces from all over your life, but it still seems weird when current events news creeps into them. What is amazing to me is how intense and real his dream personality was. I feel like if I did meet him he's probably a lot like that. So how could my mind, my dream machine, know that? He slept on a bunk in my garage. I don't have a garage or a bunk, but in the dream I did. It will always amaze me how our mind keeps on functioning without us while we sleep and comes up with strange stories and adventures and for what purpose? Only to be forgotten when we are awake again. Unless they are about Vladimir Putin. You don't quickly forget a dream like that. |
| The problem is this. Before you learn how to write your stories, that "story in your head" is not in a good format for writing. It consists of images, scenes from movies, short bits you remember from stories you read, and other stuff that you just mash together in your brain while ignoring anything that doesn't quite fit. And so, you have a "story in your head". Writing a story is entirely different. You can only tell one thing at a time, so the images in your head cannot be put on paper. It would take "a thousand words" for each image and it would be boring to read. So what's the secret? Because obviously stories do get written. The secret is to depend on the imagination of the reader to fill in all the details. For instance, if I write "We took the subway from 4th Street to 17th street" then what does the reader do? He goes far beyond just imagining two subway stops. It's a subway so it must be in a fairly large city. There are high rise buildings and lots of people and taxis and noise. The reader's imagination adds all that without you having to say a word. In fact, if you wrote it out, it would annoy the reader. So the first thing to do in telling your stories is to trust the reader to fill in the details and you just tell the most important stuff, like who is fighting with who, that kind of thing. After that comes practice. You just keep writing stories and solving the problems that come up and as you do that over and over you get better and better at writing. You will do it faster and the words will just flow out of you. |
| I get knocked down but I get up again. You're never going to keep me down. I drink the drinks and sing the songs. I cook the cookies and walk the walks. I call the calls and talk the talks. Hey, it's a life, it's mine, and it's relatively inexpensive. Of course, the getting knocked down part is a pain in the derrière, but Dans chaque vie, il y a une douleur. You have to expect it and have a good plan for dealing with it. I find that cooking cookies helps a lot. Chocolate chip, peanut butter fudge, lemon bars, ginger snaps. It's all good. But don't carry them in your hip pocket because when you get knocked down on your derrière you'll smash the cookies. I found a nifty smash-proof aluminum cookie tote that I use. It holds enough cookies to last 16 hours, more than enough to make a foray into the city. Eat a cookie while you wait for the bus, eat a cookie on the bus. I don't carry drinks with me. Instead, I buy coffee at fast food restaurants, or in hot weather I might get a chocolate milkshake. The good thing about a bus trip is that I am unlikely to get knocked down. It's a phenomena that seems to be confined to my own neighborhood. That's why I am thinking about moving. A little bungalow in a part of town where you don't get knocked down would be nice. Who knows? I might even be able to cut back on my cookie eating and lose some of this weight. It's definitely something to think about. I get knocked down but I get up again. |
| Once again Trump has made a brilliant countermove that the sludge-brained media cannot understand. You have to look at the larger picture to see how adroitly Trump manipulates the media. What was the media situation before Trump's wiretapping charge? The media was fascinated with Democrat claims of "collusion" between Trump and the Russians. No rational person could think that an American president would attempt to collude with Russia and get away with it since all the lines of communication between here and Russia are monitored 24 hours a day. The Democrat's argument seems to be: Trump is too stupid to know that so he tried to do it. Trump sees the media focusing on this "Russia question" day after day. Of course, he knows there is no truth to it, but how do you refute it? Naturally, there have been numerous contacts with all countries, including Russia. The Dems and the media imply the contacts were more than they were. How do you refute that without not only sounding defensive, but feeding the Russia story even more. How? You counterattack with a charge of your own. Trump Tower was wiretapped. Not only does that force less airtime be devoted to Russia charges, but now some airtime has to be devoted to defending the Democrats from the wiretapping charge. The media says: Trump has no evidence of any wiretapping! Unfortunately, that only highlights the fact that the Democrats have no evidence of collusion. Contact, yes, but that's innocent. Collusion - no evidence. When pressed for evidence, Trump says "Let's investigate it, then we will find the evidence." Brilliant! Exactly what the Dems were saying about Russia: Let's investigate it, then we'll find the evidence. Trump has not completely neutralized the Dems on this, but he's a lot better off than if he had said nothing. By the way, the media is getting far more views and making a lot more money than if Trump had not become president. The controversy is deliberate and profitable for them. |
| I'm not that interested in characters, so I don't spend any time on creating them. I'm more of a plot guy. I'm in favor of writing according to your natural inclinations. It's less stressful and more enjoyable. Someone who is a "character" writer knows it and they spend time daydreaming about the characters. But someone like me works with the standard toolkit of stereotypical characters - the captain, the princess, the mechanic, the drunk, the corporate executive, the teenager, the spinster, the psycho. I add a quirk or two to individualize him - the one-legged captain with an eye patch who lisps, the princess who has red hair and hates wealth, the mechanic who invents a time machine - and I place my little action figures in various settings and situations and create some conflict. Before you know it... a story! |
| The media makes a statement that boils down to "Donald trump is inferior because of yada yada yada..." Donald Trump responds with "The media is inferior because of yakka yakka yakka..." The media responds with "Donald Trump is inferior because it's obvious that it's yada yada yada that is true and not yakka yakka yakka..." Donald Trump responds with "The media is inferior because it's obvious that yakka yakka yakka is true and not yada yada yada..." MESSAGE TO MEDIA: Can you give up on all the "Donald Trump is inferior" stuff and just get back to reporting some real news? And yes, you should slant it to make the president look good, not bad. I am an American. I want our president to look good. It's no different from telling your spouse they look good. Everything runs smoother that way than if you tell them they look bad. |
| I used to be afraid to share pieces of myself until I discovered nobody cared who I was. They were too busy playing with pieces of their selves. I realized I didn't even have to be myself. I could be anybody I wanted to be. |
| The Brass Pencil A Short Story by Friction Bonaparte Grayson Sunbeam looked at the brass pencil in his hands and felt droopy. He walked over to the window and reflected on his motivated surroundings. He had always loved frenetic Crimson City with its blue-eyed, brief buildings. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel droopy. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Dorothy Mole. Dorothy was a straightforward complainer with gorgeous ears and heavy tears. Grayson gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an aggressive, careful, whiskey drinker with massive ears and chunky tears. His friends saw him as a tense, terrible tycoon. Once, he had even rescued a horrible small bundle of cash from a burning building. But not even an aggressive person who had once rescued a horrible small bundle of cash from a burning building, was prepared for what Dorothy had in store today. The rain hammered like buying koalas, making Grayson tired. As Grayson stepped outside and Dorothy came closer, he could see the ordinary glint in her eye. "Look Grayson," growled Dorothy, with a reasonable glare that reminded Grayson of straightforward parakeets. "I hate you and I want refund. You owe me 3511 dollars." Grayson looked back, even more tired and still fingering the brass pencil. "Dorothy, you can pay in small installments," he replied. They looked at each other with bored feelings, like two ripe, real rats selling at a very romantic funeral, which had jazz music playing in the background and two efficient uncles renting to the beat. Grayson studied Dorothy's gorgeous ears and heavy tears. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I declared myself bankrupt," explained Grayson. "You will never get your money." "No!" objected Dorothy. "You lie!" "I do not!" retorted Grayson. "Now get your gorgeous ears out of here before I hit you with this brass pencil." Dorothy looked perky, her wallet raw like a tense, thoughtless trashcan. Grayson could actually hear Dorothy's wallet shatter into 3511 pieces. Then the straightforward complainer hurried away into the distance. Not even a glass of whiskey would calm Grayson's nerves tonight. THE END |
| Quotation from H L Mencken: "As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." My Response... The disdain of city people for rural people has been going on since the first cities were built centuries ago. City people are much more political and talkative because they live together in a large group. Rural people are much less political and less talkative because they tend to be isolated from each other. The main concerns of rural people are helping each other and defending against danger. City people tend to assume the large size of their group protects them from danger. It's debatable whether they help each other any more or less than rural people. One can cite examples either way: man left in street to die or people rushing to pull someone form a burning car. HL Mencken was a city person, which is why he would characterize a rural person as a moron. But those of us who have relatives who are genuinely rural know that they are not morons and are often wise in ways that city people are not. One way to look at Trump's victory is the triumph of the rural over the city in this particular election cycle. The emphasis will be on protection from danger (hence the Wall and the Ban) and helping each other (hence Trump's refusal to consider any type of entitlements reform). It should be noted that rural people are plain-speaking, sometimes even sounding crude to city ears. Rural people think city people speak too much, talking when they should be doing. Again Trump: he is plain-speaking and believes action is more important than talk. Of course, the irony is that Trump is a city person himself. Maybe that's what made his victory possible, his blend of a city person's political skills with a rural person's view of life. |
| It's a compromise. The most efficient form of government is a one party system (like China has) but it is also the least representative and the most prone to corruption. Having dozens of parties is the most representative and the least prone to corruption, but also the least efficient. A two or three party system is a good compromise. A three party system has the disadvantage of elections that result in no clear winner. Logical choice for efficient representative government? Two parties! But if the two parties become polarized and unwilling to compromise... then perhaps a temporary third party can shake things up. |
| Collecting is a basic human instinct. It's actually the fundamental process our minds use. For example... A small child has a dog. He learns the word "dog". One day he sees a cat and says "Dog!" His parent gently corrects him. "No, that's a cat." He is in the yard playing with his dog and another child comes by with a dog. "Cat!" says the boy. Laughter. "No, that's a dog." As he grows up, the boy sees more and more examples of "dogs" and refines his definition. What is he doing? He is COLLECTING images of dogs. When we say a person is well-educated, what we mean is that he has COLLECTED a lot of information and organized it into categories. How does this relate to trinkets? When a new category is introduced into our environment, our first instinct is to collect examples of it so we will know what it is. You may have seen the recent Pokémon craze on the news. Same thing. Trinkets. Pokémon. Got to get them all. There are at least four kinds of collectors. 1. I must have all of them. 2. After I collect a few examples, that's sufficient and I lose interest. 3. I don't need to collect ALL of them but I am always on the alert for one that is unusual or different. 4. Although I am not interested in them myself, I know others are, and therefore I wish to acquire them to buy and sell or to trade. |
| I lived a long life without ever once needing to use a laxative, but now that I am old I am apparently being given the chance to sample every illness and ailment known to Man. Naturally, I researched constipation on the internet and then went out and bought the four most popular solutions. Here they are, listed in order of effectiveness from worse to best. 4. Mineral oil -- Did nothing for me. 3. Prunes -- Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't. Regardless, there is usually a long wait before any effect is felt. 2. Milk of Magnesia -- Works, but not in the way I expected. I assumed I would take a dose, wait, then have a nice bowel movement, but it's not like that. It's more like having a brief case of diarrhea. After you take it, a few hours later you begin to experience urges to evacuate. The first few might be dry, then you start getting productive. Unfortunately, even after you are done there are lingering after affects in the form of further urges to evacuate your bowels even though they are empty. But Milk of Magnesia does work. 1. Suppositories -- These work exactly the way you would want a laxative to work and are definitely the best solution. Unfortunately, squeamish people will he unable to use them. I insert one as far in as I can and I am always surprised when my finger comes out "clean". I suppose the sphincter muscle wipes it off. Of course, I still give my hands a good washing! As far as how they work: They both soften the stool and create an urge. About 15 to 45 minutes after inserting one (and it's important to wait until the suppository has time to melt) you experience the urge to evacuate and then you have a nice bowel movement, usually with little effort. There are no lingering after effects because whatever is left of the suppository is evacuated with the feces. Laxative Champion = The Suppository |
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