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I tell of my struggles as I learn and go through the process of writing a book from page 1 |
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Welcome to my first attempt at blogging…here it goes. But a few things first. First, I am forever fearful of judgment so I must make this disclaimer: I am not terrible at English. While I will do my best to put forth the best of my abilities, I consider a blog to be little more than a publicized journal, and therefore nothing to lose sleep over if it doesn’t sound perfect. I already have one of those headaches, and I don’t need another. That said, if there is something that you mention that just makes you cringe, I will do my best to fix it or apologize profusely for the mental damage I have caused you. Also: This is going to be a really long post. As in 1,889 words long. I realize I am only making it longer, but I feel the need to warn you. Once we get introductions and my past out of the way, they will be MUCH shorter. Why Blog: As a wannabe writer I am coming across many difficult and often discouraging problems. I feel the only reason why I am still fighting this battle is because I want the world to know of my imaginary world, with the friends that I have made there who really want people to know who they are. Perhaps I am crazy, but then half the world is. I also thought that perhaps if other wannabe authors were to follow me, perhaps they would not feel so alone. (Or perhaps I am? Well if that were the case, this blog should be really interesting, but I doubt it.) They could feed off my knowledge gained, and maybe give me a few pointers as well. Others might be interested in what “kids are doing these days” and tune in for an interesting read. I figure if the latter were to happen, it keeps my annoying butt off the FAQ board with a million-and-one questions that I feel are rather petty (sorry to those who are a part of Writer’s digest.) I’ll just annoy you!  What I have done so far: I cannot tell you everything that I have learned so far, mainly because I am sure a lot of it is now second nature to me and I wouldn’t think of mentioning it to you. To compensate for that, let’s annoy the senior author unlucky enough to find this post a bit more so that if I don’t have the answer you give me, they might, and if not…back to the FAQ board. The following things, however, are what stick out to me. The first was the Snowflake Method. As a project for high-school, I wrote the first few chapters of my novel (Those chapters can be seen as my “Through the portal” series). It required a research essay and a visual, where I discovered this handy tool for outlining and writing the first draft of your novel/book/whatever. If you have time, look it up. Just type in “Snowflake Method” into google and you will find it. It’s based on a mathematical principle, but basically it is just taking something very generic and small and building on top of it until you have a novel. I have found this TREMENDOUSLY helpful in realizing the purpose of my novel, my characters habits and personalities, where the holes in the plot are (an, trust me, there are always holes) and so forth. I seriously recommend it. The next was Writing.com. Though if you are reading this, I think it is safe to assume that you have found that particular jewel. I will say here that the upgraded, if you don’t have it already, is well worth the 50 bucks (take a little) for the year membership. The next is a wonderful instructional book by Josip Novakovich called Writing Fiction Step by Step. He also has another entitled Fiction Writer’s Work Shop that is just as good. I haven’t even finished these books, and they have helped my writing style and process. If you want a class, but don’t want to spend thousands of dollars, Open learn uses the former for their free online class. Next comes Advancedfictionwriting.com. This is hosted by Randy Ingermanson. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? If not, you should. He knows his stuff and his website will tell you better than I can, so check it out. I personally love his blog, because people like me ask him questions and he answers them thoroughly, and he invites you to do the same. You can also find the Snowflake Method here. The final breakthrough is Writersdigest.com. This is more a place for you to get fast responses (within a day at most) to questions, but from what I can see, it can have as much use as all the aforementioned resources, plus the added ability to market the eventually finished book. Perhaps I am wrong…this is a new discovery, and I’ve only read a few articles and annoyed the people on the FAQ board. But the writing! I need help WRITING! How do I get rid of amateuristic sounding chapters? How do I make a scene? How much of a backstory is allowed? How do I create dialogue? All of the thousand and one questions that we keep putting into google or youtube and coming up with more sites and books to look at. The truth that I have discovered is it is as hard for the teacher as it is for the student, largely because THERE ARE NO RULES. Once you get past writing 101, you’re good. The rest is literally take it or leave it advice for a more mainstream novel that will be appealing to the agents that published the books of the people you’re asking advice from. On top of that you are asking generic questions that may differ between the genres. I am writing an epic fantasy. If you are not, then this may not be the blog to follow. I may have some generic things I have discovered, but you would be banging your head on the desk more than thanking me. Now. For some of the things I HAVE learned: One is that the mark of an amateur is how often they use variations of “said” so no he/she “whispers” “shouts” “sighs” “laughs” “screams” and all of the other things you can think of that are not “said.” The “professionals” denote the speaking character by having that character do an action. Look for it in one of your favorite books. More often than not, it’ll say something along the lines of “”What is that?” Cassie pointed to the top of the hill” rather than “What is that?” Cassie whispered worriedly. Another thing. Lay off the adverbs. Let the reader decide the mood. If you set the scene right, any adverbs you add on should be redundant. As for the backstory, I have learned there is no excuse for an info dump. (supposedly there is some leeway for fantasy so you can “world build” but it isn’t a well-liked concept). Work the backstory into the novel as it becomes relevant. If it’s not relevant, have one of the characters be curious, and figure it out somehow. But the backstory should be at most one short paragraph, and in dialogue, before continuing the story. (That’s not total…split it up so that at any one time there is only one paragraph). Or else in a flash back. And there’s a whole stigma about that, but I don’t like flashbacks, so if you want explanation, you’ll have to look somewhere else. I keep hearing “talk to yourself” or “record yourself having conversations” when it comes to dialogue. I talk to myself way too often to be considered sane, so dialogue has never been a problem for me short of making sure who’s talking is well known. Don’t worry about going crazy. We’re friendly and don’t bite hard. What about my book? I have been trying to write this book for the last decade. Keep in mind, a decade ago I was 11, so have that frame of reference. I was not a well-liked child at school for my own problems that really aren’t important, but the result of which is that I spent a lot of time alone. I spent most of my time in a fictional world, and – being 11 – I was in a place where people were perfect ( as in a literal sense) and had special abilities…I still have the “book”. Since then I my world has become – shall we say – more complex? The people are no longer perfect, but magic (as these “abilities” turned into) became as common as dirt and really didn’t raise much notice. My world began to have a past and filled with people with different cultures and sights full of wonder, and I began to have the common urge any writer gets: the need to share it. From the lore came the characters and I know them better than I know my friends. This however brings me to about my first year in high-school, so these characters – one of them in his forties – were dealing with problems in a very teenage-like way. This and an amateur voice throughout the chapters is one of the things that I have been trying to work out of my novel for the last couple of years, leading me to a lot of the resources mentioned above. I found it interesting, though, that even in my mind there is a sense of time. Initially I was writing about Olivia Smith, who was trapped in a society about ten times worse than the holocaust and her adventure was taking a plane over a giant wall that surrounded this society and escaping. However, as the years passed, I found myself moving more toward her daughter, who was born in a different reality – ours – and falls through a portal back into her own, of which she has no knowledge of. Now, if I were to go back to write about Olivia, I call the story stale. It’s like I am telling history. What’s more, it’s history that everyone knows. So, I write about Brina. And hope this story stays alive, because I SO want to share her life. The good thing about it is I have something to build on if I need to for another book. So where am I now? I am at the point where I write the beginning over and over again until I get discouraged after writing the first few words because they are the same, and the story has yet to be written. Not published…not even organized really. I just want it written. I sincerely believe that I need some form of class and have decided to read through Writing fiction Step by Step and do all of the exercises that it tells me to do. Should you so desire, I can post those as a different item, so you can see my progress a little more. I am also starting this blog so that *I* can see how far I’ve come, and perhaps get a few more pointers and herd a few more dreamers along the way. And that’s it. My first post. Feel free to comment or post anything you desire. This is open to all. |
| When my husband and I first started getting to know one another, one of the things that we found in common was our desire to write a book. I was still very deep in my struggles with writing Through the Portal (yes...I have gone far, haven't I?) and he was the friend I mentioned once before who's story was so well written -- even incomplete as it was -- that it had me wondering at my own skills. My husband went to college as a theatre major and came out of it with an interesting tidbit that came up again in conversation: Method acting -- one where the actor gets so much into character they become the character for the duration of the filming -- was improper and potentially dangerous if one were to play an evil role. Such methods usually stem from a lack of education on the matter. The proper way to act, my husband says, is to look at the scene being filmed and see what the character you're portraying wants, and how he or she would go about getting it through either action or conversation. On a different topic, I have lately been listening to a D&D game played by a group of voice actors dubbed Critical Role, if anyone here is familiar. In it, there is a whole episode dedicated to teaching the audience how to play Dungeons and Dragons, to include Matt Mercer instructing on the role of a Dungeon Master. Matt claims one can create enough of a character to expand upon with merely a name, the character's biggest desire, and his or her worst fear. That theme again. What does the character want? Acting and Dungeon Mastering is just a skip and a hop away from writing. I have tested this theory, and I genuinely believe those three things are the best attributes to have to begin any character and generate a plot. I encourage you to try it: create a couple of characters with just these three attributes, and have them talk with one another. As you do this, try to imagine what each character might want out of each other. Now you have a story. Now for me to apply this as well: Shane is a man who desperately wants to be remembered as a well-traveled man. His biggest fear is that his life may end and no one will know of him. Karen aspires to be a dancer, but fears she may become a cripple from a bad accident. Karen: "Good morning sir! How can I help you this morning?" Shane, looking at Karen's name tag "Hello Karen! Shane, by the way. I'm still looking, thank you. Perhaps you could help me, though? I remember a very nice gelato I had while in Italy. Have you been to Italy?" "No, I haven't." "Oh, you should go! Cinque Terra was just gorgeous. And if you like to hike, there's nothing else like it! Just a few inches of a ledge at times, and a rope to hold you up!" "Oh no! I couldn't! What if I fall? I could lose a leg if I did that!" "Ah. Well... um... there's also the redwoods in California. No cliffs there, and quite a bit closer to home, I'd say! Perhaps you'd like to take a tour there? I could point out a few points where the woods come to life..." Karen was already shaking her head. "I prefer to stay home if I can, sir, to be honest -- " "Shane, if you please." "Shane -" "Yes, Shane Baxton." "Right. Shane. Well as I was saying, I prefer the indoors. Plenty of space for my stretches and exercise routines. I even have my dining room set up like a dance studio." "Oh? Been to Ireland? I was fortunate enough to see Riverdance live there once! You look like you'd do well up there with them." "Oh thank you, sir! That's nice of you to say!" "Shane, please." "Right. Shane. But you wanted gelato? Unfortunately, the closest thing we have is our vanilla ice cream. Perhaps you'd like that instead?" "Yes, I think I will. Thank you, Karen." "Of course sir...Shane." |
| I feel very much like a beast stirring after a very long slumber and beginning to raise its head once more. Three years, it has been. Three years since I have thought of this site. Three years since I have thought of continuing work on my book. Three years since I have thought to be creative. What happened? I'm afraid it's nothing exciting. I lost my motivation, and began to seriously question if I am good enough to be an author. And as one event in life happened after another, this just fell by the wayside. I still question my skill, but I find that I miss writing. I think a few small compositions will sate my hunger for now, but I do want to focus more on reading. I have heard many times now that an author has to be an avid reader. We all learn from each other; after all, that is largely what this site is all about. For any of you interested, I still think about the world I have created in my head, and still feel the faint call to share it with the world. Perhaps when I feel the time is right, I will pick up the proverbial pen again and continue my story, but that will be a while in coming. For now, I stir, and you can see my journey as always in this blog, as sporadic as it might be. Bear with me, and I will do my best not to disappoint, and will definitely exercise my creative side to its fullest extent. A shout out to the world: I am back! |
| "Words are words. Words are only words. Never any meaning. Words of courage are only words. Actions define the words, but then no words are needed. Words inspire, but those words use past action to encourage future action. Words are truth hold meaning until the truth is broken. Words of lies have no meaning until given trust. Words are only words. Never any meaning." The above rant is one of the ravings that came to me about a day ago, and am attributing it to a grizzled old man driven mad from age and trauma, but there is a bit of relevance to it, as most ramblings do. I'd been remembering my oath into the service, and how people said I was brave to make such an oath "during a time of war". I never really gave it much thought until recently, though. At the time the war we were in was one on terrorism, and fought in countries on the other side of the globe. I joined as a mechanic, who fixes the planes that go to war. I am enlisted in a branch of military that send their officers off into war. I fix an airplane that refuels the planes that fight in the war. In fact, I fix the planes that TRAIN the pilots to fuel the jets that go to war. For me joining the air force in a time of war only meant that I had an extra ribbon to put on my uniform, so the oath I took were mere words. It's a bit different now. Deployment puts me considerably closer to the conflict, and I am seeing it's effects a bit more. The layers between me and the war have been shaved off, and now I am starting to feel a bit nervous. Now, my oath comes into question. Now the bravery may come. Of course I will uphold my oath and continue to do my job, but those words are now actions. Those actions have meanings. It makes me wonder, though. What makes one person take an oath and dig in when tested, and another take flight? What is the thought process that occurs there? Where do we define courage and stupidity? Is there courage in stupidity? (I know...kind of a far leap, but still). If Brina -- who follows Eric blindly for a long time -- is tested time and time again and continues to follow him regardless of his faults and failings, is she still courageous? I'm reminded a line in a poem: "There's is not to question why. There's is but to do and die. Into the valley of death rode the six hundred." And yet...and yet Brina out grows Eric, and learns to see him as he is. He, who has shirked his duties to the Renegade for the last 17 years, who manipulates everyone he can to get what he wants, who is just as blinded as she was in the beginning and still follows the decisions laid before him. So perhaps courage to fight the war, and then courage to fight the friend and leader...but a lack of honor to do the latter.... |
| I like to watch talk shows where authors are the guests, when I can find them. I feel a connection with them when they talk about their work and their writing process and the passion and sheer stubbornness they have when creating their masterpieces, and I still feel as though I can learn from the little snippits of information they have to give in the interview. Sometimes (during my more arrogant moments) I like to place myself in their shoes and try to answer the questions put to them myself. I like to imagine how it would feel to be published and well known and liked. (Kind of embarrassing, but there you have it.) One question that sticks with me, though is where is the inspiration? How do we come up with the kinds of worlds and concepts that we come up with? Okay, so how DO I come up with this stuff? A lot of the folks online will tell you to people watch and write what you know and so on. Sure. But that's obvious, and rather general. How do I come up with the workings and ideas that I have that make this alternate universe work? How does Paulo Coelho come up with the little boy struggling to realize his dream? For that matter how does a choreographer create a dance, or how does a painter come up with the subject to paint? I remember Stephen King saying he didn't like how that question was usually asked. It's not "how" do we come up with these ideas, but "where". The fact is a creative person tends to see the world differently than the logical person. We see the world and try to twist it, flatten it, or change it in some way. It's not that we don't like the world as it is, but rather the changes we make often reveal a lot about who we are or how things work, in my opinion. I like to reflect a lot on the things we can't know about and try to put answers to them. Is there intelligent life on other planets? I think so, but lets go further. What would they be like, and why? Can I create a plausible reason for an extraterrestrial to have a certain anatomy? What about their culture? their mental capacity compared to humans? What if, how, and why? For a better example, I have another book idea in mind for the far future that will be titled "Titan". I had watched a documentary on the history channel about how Saturn's moon, Titan. I very clearly remember learning about how, because it's so cold there, water is as solid as rock, and nitrogen became the element that existed in all phases naturally. I remember them explaining that when it rain there, were we on Titan and able to see it, it would look like water droplets falling like snow. They showed a computer rendering of what that might look like, and I thought it was beautiful. As unlikely as it is, I immediately wanted to see it for myself. So I began to imagine. But why would humans want to go to Titan. Because it's new and exciting is too obvious. Mining came into my mind after a time. We are constantly looking for more fuel sources. But the only thing that I know about Titan is the water. So what if we had run out of water? What if the population of earth had exceeded the natural resources that we had? Okay, but we would have created a way to purify ocean water efficiently before we turned to space, unless it was easier for some reason. So the earth's population has exceeded the earth's limits, but has for some time. We've moved to other planets already, but planets that contain water are hard to find, so we have "water worlds" that are not inhabited but only used to harvest the water. Titan would then be a viable subject. I was walking home from work one winter night, and was crossing a large parking lot that had been covered with a fresh layer of snow. When I looked down, all I could see was white, and I imagined what it must look like to see nothing but a plane of snow all the way out to the horizon, and how lonely you must feel when looking back and all you see is a single set of footprints. I then thought what you would feel when coming across a second set of footprints. The excitement that you would feel knowing that you're not alone, and the prospect of catching up with this person and finally having contact with someone. I can see this person forming a mental connection with the owner of these footprints as she follows them, noticing the places the footprints stopped and made camp, the places they stumbled, and the skid marks that showed this past person just trudging through the snow. And then I could imagine the heartbreak I would feel if I were the person following those footsteps and realizing that they were mine. I can imagine just how damaging that would be to my own psyche. I connected this concept with the idea of titan and came up with a story. Elizabeth Gilbert did a Ted Talk after her success with Eat Pray Love. She talked about how unsettling it was for her to have this enormous amount of success only to have people come up to her with grave looks and honestly ask her if she felt as though she thought she could live up to that level of accomplishment again. She went on to talk about how writers seem to have created this image of manic depressive alcoholics and that's really not a good image to have. She said the fear of failure, essentially, lead to a lot of the demises of a lot of the great creative thinkers. To save her own psyche, she did a bit of research and it lead her to Ancient Rome, where he learned of Geniuses. To the Ancient Romans, genius was not a particularly clever person, but rather almost a mythical creature that lived in the walls of a house and changed a piece of work as it was being made. Gilbert and I both rather think that's kind of a cool idea, because it kind of takes away a bit of the responsibility. If it's great, you can't be too egotistical -- it wasn't all you. If it bombed...well then it wasn't all your fault. She also had a couple of stories about talking to other authors and how they were inspired. Gilbert, herself, was a mule as she put it and had to get up at the same time every day and toil for hours at her desk. A famous poet said it came to her like a storm and she had to "run like hell" to get to a piece of paper to write it down. A musician said that he would hear his tunes on the wind. I suppose in the end we all have own ways of getting our material. Mine is taking fantastical elements and trying to make it plausibly fit in to reality. On another, quicker note, I recently was greatly surprised and honored to be personally asked to review a piece for someone on WDC. I didn't even know I was on the list of available reviewers. I accepted the request, of course, and I hope I helped her. She's not the first review I've done, but there's an extra bit of pressure to give all you have with the personalized requests, and I am by no means an editor. It was also a bit out of my comfort zone by it's religious contexts. I usually avoid anything religious after having been subjected to many a person trying to convert me to one religion or another, and the fact that I haven't read any religious texts leaves me with little ammo. Putting aside that discomfort, though, she did have a very good short story about experiences and revelations with God and how He can connect through any and all mediums. I have come to the conclusion...again...that I really like this site. To the other aspiring writers out there walking this journey with me, thank you for bearing with my ramblings. |
| Finally settled in an Air Base in Turkey, cranking out missions for the US air force. I was a little concerned by a lack of free wifi in the local area, but I have managed to connect, and am excited to get back to work. I have made a little progress with finishing my first chapter after concluding that it needed a further introduction of Brina. I have her swimming in a lake right before school at the moment, though I am still hashing out if she should be alone, have a friend meet her as she gets to shore, or have her spy some mysterious new student who's taken a keen interest in her. The latter would further the story the most, I think, if he or she were from the other side of the veil as well and perhaps thought he had found Olivia, also providing a nice tie-in. The bigger question is when to introduce that character... All fascinating, and I find myself with a lot of free time when off work, so you all should expect more from me soon! |
| Still moving, and still thinking. After further research, however, I have come to the conclusion that I need to add on to the first chapter the indroduction of Brina as a young adult. One of the things that is needed in a first chapter is an introduction to the main character, and though Brina is born in this version, the reader thinks Olivia is the main character. It shouldn't be too hard to add that on, though. A break in text to show a change in scene and perspective and I'm on my way again. I've also been trying to think on who Brina is BEFORE all of her adventures on the other side of the veil. To do this, I've had to think a lot on who her adoptive mother is. Ann has always been a flat character, but I still have to know a little about her to know how Brina grew up. Or rather, I have to create a home life that will allow for Brina to have the belief systems and ways of thinking that I need her to have for her future growth. And since Ann is the only parent Brina has ever known, she becomes responible for most of these concepts. The result of this has had me happily imagining the house they would have lived in, how Brina won Ann over enough to agree to becoming a single parent, and what occupation Ann would have had to hold a low income, but comfortable life. From this, I should be able to have a better understanding of how Brina would act before finding the portal |
| I'm sorry for the silence...rest assured I am not beginning to fall backwards as I have in the last few times that I have tried to bring back my writing. Unfortunately my life at this time is a bit more complicated than usual and I am finding less and less time to write. I am in the process of travelling to a different location and getting all the paperwork in for me to be allowed to do so is proving a nightmare. As such, I have yet to begin writing the second chapter, though I do feel as though I am free from the same humdrum beginning that I have been stuck with for the last few months. By starting with Brina's birth, I feel as though I don't need to introduce her as a young adult by having her walk home on a forest trail. I can start with a conversation...perhaps her in school, or at home talking to Ann...I haven't nailed down how that's going to occur yet. It will need some contemplation, but I still feel as though I am making some progress. I must admit I am disappointed with the lack of reviews that I have received for the first chapter, however. I have only received one telling me that Olivia's character comes through as strong. She is very motherly, my reviewer notes, which is indeed what I wanted to get across, But one review doesn't really give me the well rounded view that I feel I need to really get an idea of how well written this first chapter is. Perhaps it is because this has already been posted a while ago and people feel as though I should have seen enough reviews? Is it a fluke and more will come? In my past experiences with this community, I quickly receive five to ten reviews within the first couple of days. Perhaps I am only selfish and impatient. I certainly hope not, and truly hope I don't come off that way. As soon as I have time to write, which should be soon (after I settle in to my new place), I will continue my adventure. |
| FINALLY!!!! SUCCESS!!!!! THE FIRST CHAPTER FINISHED!!!!! MY GOAL HAS BEEN MET!!! Of course it's not anywhere close to perfect but I have deemed it decent enough to place it once more on this site and bother people about it with my name -- albeit a fake one -- on it. Please please please read Through the Portal at your own leisure and tell me what you think. I can truly use any and all feedback and help I can get. It does feel absolutely amazing though to finally get SOMEWHERE.  Another big thanks to Wordsmitty who tagged me in "Blogging Bliss Newsletter" once again. It's nice to know there are still some people who stick with me and my spinning wheels, hopefully with the faith I will eventually move on. I highly suggest her newsletter as well. It's one of my favorites on this site. |
| Sleep is an amazing thing. I often am surprised as how much it effects in your life. I have not slept in the last twenty-four hours now, and I definitely feel it. Unfortunately, sometimes that's just how it works with my job, but the result is a lack of focus and/or hyper focus on the unimportant things. I spent a long time today trying to get further in my first chapter, but I found myself bouncing back and forth between staring at the screen and doing nothing and trying to fix little words in my sentences to make things more descriptive, or realistic, without actually making any progress in the plot. In fact I would have to say I made no progress at all. So SLEEP!!!! I am really disappointed today, but tomorrow is a new day and I will start again. Until then. |
| Well I am beyond the first paragraph now. Progress! I've gotten most of the way through the first scene, but the feeling of inadequacy sticks with me. I don't feel like the voice I am portraying in this book is correct for an adult book. This would be more of the voice for a young adult novel. Perhaps I have not lived enough of my life at 22 years to really understand adulthood like my cherished author heroes. I might, then, make the reading audience a young adult audience. I wonder, though if certain things are then taboo. Dealing with graphic torture scenes mainly. I know death is not unknown in the young adult world, and there are some dark books that fall into that category. But I imagine my final piece to follow the same level of darkness as The Blade Itself or the Night Trilogy world. I don't want to dim down that particular aspect as one of the things I am trying to highlight is the juxtaposition of true beauty and true ugliness. A good question for me then is: what makes a Young Adult novel, and what makes it Adult fiction? Where is that particular line crossed. More to the point: who is more likely to read it, and if it's the latter, how do I change my voice to reflect that type of voice? |
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