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 |   My first blog |
This is my first ever blog, so I'm not really sure what I'm doing  . I guess I'll learn as I go along.
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| I hadn't intended to write an end-of-year blog post, but what the heck? I feel like I want to get my thoughts and feelings down, even if nobody else reads this. Let me start by saying, this has not been the easiest of years. I mean, there were no big events that shook me. Nothing really happened. I think maybe that was part of the problem. I guess this is all part of the Covid-lockdown-hangover. Even though things are pretty much back to normal, and have been for months now, some of the new habits we took on during the pandemic have lingered, and life has felt just that little bit harder. The main change, for me, is not seeing my two best friends as much as before. Pre-pandemic, we had all met up once a week to have a chat and chew the fat. Before Shell and I married our hubbies, the three of us had pretty much lived in each others' pockets. We saw each other most days and knew everything about our lives. Nina and Shell helped get me through some of the worst times of my life. But this last year, I've probably seen Nina three or four times, and Shell only when she takes me shopping. I've found it increasingly hard to open up about my world, and even texting them has been difficult. It's like my thoughts have taken a hike and I don't know how to interact with people any more. Again, I know I'm not alone. These last two crazy years have left out of us with some kind of scars, even if we never had the illness. But I've felt lonely. I can't even tell my hubby this because he doesn't cope well with "deep and meaningfuls." And I can't tell the girls how I feel because I don't want to upset them. So, mentally, this year has been a struggle. My physical health has been crappy, as well. Some time in the the year (in the summer, maybe?) I had a blood test that showed my diabetes had got bad, my cholesterol was high, and my kidneys were leaking protein. I felt exhausted. I couldn't sit down for more than ten minutes without falling asleep. And then, I decided to change, to take control of my health. I stopped eating all animal products, I exercised more, and I started to feel healthier. But then, around six weeks ago, I lost it. My dog is ill, and I was stressed and sad. Not an excuse; just a reason. Alfie is a 13 year old black lab, and he's getting weaker all the time. I'm dreading the time I have to say my forever goodbye. My heart is already breaking. Around this time, I had another blood test. Because I'd been good until this point, the results were all favourable: blood sugar levels way down, cholesterol back to the normal range, I'd lost 24lbs in weight. The only problem was my kidneys were still not right, so I'm taking some tablets to (hopefully) help. But none of it matters now because I've slipped, and when I slip, I do it in style! Okay. Enough of the negative. I am determined that 2023 will be healthier and happier. When I met up with my friends on Christmas Eve, we agreed to make more of an effort to meet up next year. So that's something that will help. Also, my health ... I have a plan. I'm not going to follow any specific diet or rule out any kinds of foods all of the time, but I have specific things I can and can't eat on each day of the week. Starting Monday. It has to work. I kind of feel like this is my last chance, although I am very aware that I have a tendency to exaggerate. I know that the period when I lose Alfie will be tough. And I may allow myself a little treat when that happens. Onto writing and books. I haven't written much at all this last year. I've found it hard to focus. I've been tired. Did I mention that already? I've been keeping up (almost) with "Promptly Poetry Challenge (2023-2024)"  and "The Contest Challenge" . I'm so grateful for these because they give me a great reason to write something. I've written a few other poems.The main part of this year, I've been running "Rach's Reading Club" and reading the books in that challenge, plus some others that grabbed my attention. I intend to run this activity again in 2023. I had intended to open it for sign-ups in December and start the challenge in January. But, unfortunately, that isn't going to happen. I will endeavour to open it for sign-ups in a couple of weeks, then run it from February, depending on the numbers wanting to take part. I will keep running "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" each month, and at some point, I'll open "Second Time Around ~ Birthday Special" .Now, the "biggie" I'm doing in 2023 is "Unstable(d) Writer's Challenge Closed" . This sounds like a crazy challenge, but as soon as I read it, it set my heart a-racin'. I am a person who works best with goals and structures. I mean, don't get me wrong; within the structures, I tend to veer off track, but it makes me feel good to know what it expected of me and when. Going back to the challenge, it has filled me with ideas. Suddenly, after the biggest dry patch ever, it is raining — no, pouring — ideas. I had a hard job deciding which to do for my first project. Now I've chosen it, I can't wait. I think this is all my news. If you have read this, and if you've made it all the way to the end, thank you. You have great perseverance. It really has been a funny, old year. I won't be sorry to see the end of it. I have to hope for better next year. I know it's in my hands. But that's the problem; I know me! Happy New Year, to all my sparkly WDC friends! I hope you all have a healthy and wonderful 2023. |
| Friday, 9th September 2022 I had to write this (kind of) diary entry today. It’s not something I usually do any more. I write stories and poetry and, occasionally the odd non-fiction memory. But, today I’m hurting, and the only way I can think of to salve my wounds a little is to write. So, what’s the reason for my feelings? Nina’s birthday heralding my impending birthday? Nope. I’m pretty much resigned to my age these days. No. That’s not it. It is the sad, sad death of Queen Elizabeth II. She passed away yesterday afternoon at Balmoral. For months now she has been stripping back her public engagements, with mobility issues being cited as the reason. But, clearly, it was a lot more than that. I wonder if we will ever find out the truth of her illness. Not that it matters, I guess. She is dead. The Queen is dead. Last night, I was in shock, really. Around lunchtime yesterday, there was a press release saying doctors were concerned for her health, and that all her family were going to Balmoral to be with her. It felt really serious right from the start. Added to that, the TV was showing the gates of Balmoral, desperate for that glimpse of a grieving family, all afternoon. Like, why would they be showing non-stop coverage and speaking as though she were already dead if she had the flu, or something? So it was obvious we were a nation waiting for the bad news. Even so, I never thought it would be so quick. I was reminded of the scene from the ‘Evita’ movie where thousands of people are waiting outside the Casa Rosada for the news that Evita has died. All of this means the UK now has a king: King Charles III. That’s so strange. The only monarch I’ve ever know is the Queen. She has been a constant, strong leader. She has shown compassion in times of grief and humour in times of joy. I’m not sure Charles will ever live up to his mother’s legacy. I’m not sure he will ever be as loved or respected as she was. I hope he is. I know he is very much into environmental issues. But I’m not sure how much he will be able to get involved in the issues he cares about now that he is King. I wonder how happy this will make him. I may be in the minority here, but I’m glad he is able to take Camilla with him as the Queen Consort. I’m sure the Queen saying she wanted this to be Camilla’s role at her Jubilee celebrations earlier this year had a lot to do with it. Camilla has been so hated by the country, though. She has become more popular and more involved in royal duties in recent years. And, you know what? She makes Charles happy. He always loved her. She was always his lobster, but they weren’t allowed to be together for a long time. And the past I long gone. Life is too short to be filled with hate. It only makes you miserable. I’ve digressed. I didn’t intend to discuss Camilla. I just want to say I’m feeling sad. I didn’t know the Queen. Obviously. But she was a part of my life. My whole life. As I see the mourners laying flowers outside Buckingham Palace, tears fill my eyes. I guess, in some ways, this is like Princess Diana’s death. The sense of shock and collective grief is tangible. Although the world outside looks the same. The trees are still in their places, the cars pass by on the road. The sassy squirrel runs up the telegraph pole. But, at the same time, everything feels different. There’s a sense of unreality that, I think, tends to accompany death. Nothing has changed, except for … everything. The UK and the world will miss this lady’s strength and gentle touch. How much, no one yet knows. All I do know is I’m feeling sad. I dreamt of my parents last night. I read once that when we dream of someone who has passed away, it is because they are visiting us in our sleep. I like that notion, although I don’t really believe it. I’d like to think that Mum and Dad came to share a few moments of grief with me, though. RIP Queen Elizabeth II 21st April 1926 – 8th September 2022 |
| Well. What can I say? Another year with Covid dominating our lives. I think everyone probably knows someone who has been diagnosed at some point. A lot of people will have suffered themselves. One of my neighbours spent almost six months in hospital and is now in a a rehabilitation home. She spent over a month in ICU on a ventilator. This really brought home to me how dangerous the illness can be. We weren't sure whether or not our neighbour would make it through. But she did. She is a fighter, and hopefully, she will make it back to her apartment one day. My mental health has suffered this year. There: I said it. I think there are a few reasons for this. My physical health, for one, has impacted my mental health by making me so tired all of the time. My diabetes is still not controlled. My blood sugars are all over the place. I have to sort this out. I have to. I plan to. This coming year has to be the year I change my lifestyle. I've had a lot of brain fog this year. Not as a by-product of Covid, thank goodness. No. It is because of my diabetes and my mental health. It means I haven't written very much at all this year. I've spent a lot of time reading as that has been easier to do. I have spent a lot of time editing with 4RV. We are almost at the end of a book I've been working on all year. That will be a huge achievement when it is published. I will be so happy for the author. I thought it would be good to look back and see what I have achieved this year. It will help me to see that I don't just sit around doing nothing all day every day. (Not always, at least.) I have completed another year of "The Contest Challenge" I now have five years of challenges under my belt. That feels like quite an achievement. As I said, reading and books have been my best friend this year. I completed "52 in 52" I read 52 books in one year! That's massive for me. I used to only read about one a month, but I signed up for this challenge, and I completed it. I'm so proud of myself. What's more: it made me fall in love with reading all over again. I've loved this challenge, and I have made my own list for 2022. I may not complete all fifty-two books next year, but I know I will enjoy trying. Thanks to my renewed love of reading, I have created "Rach's Reading Club" I look forward to sharing with others this love for reading. The other activity I have completed this year is to write a poem every week for "Promptly Poetry Challenge (2023-2024)" . Writing a poem every week has been challenging at times, but there are a few poems I've written this year that I'm particularly proud of. Here are a few:"Love Yourself" "Relationships" "Happiness?" "Cruelty of Cancer" So, my plans for 2022 ... to read a lot, to run my contests, to write my weekly poems, to review more, to edit with 4RV, and lastly, to edit my own novel. To make it through to he end. I can do all of this. If I can sort out my physical health, I know everything will be easier. So, that is my priority. Healthy eating, more exercise. And the rest will follow ... right? |
| Last year, I fell in love with reading all over again. I rediscovered how comforting it is to sit down with a good book when you aren't feeling quite well enough for anything else. I can't believe I was able to complete the 52 in 52 reading challenge. I don't think I've ever read this much before. But, I am so glad that I did. Books rock! They are true friends and, yes, sometimes, they let you down. They don't live up to your expectations. But, they are always there for you. They are always happy for you to read them. So, I have decided to attempt the 52 in 52 challenge again in 2022. I am not following a specific prompt for each week this time, though. I am reading books that line my shelves and my Kindle account; books I have wanted to read for some time now. I have set out a list again because, well, I like lists  . I've included at least one book each month for "Rach's Reading Club" . I'm not sure I will have enough time to fulfil this list, though, because I have writing plans that will take up more time next year. Hopefully. Depending on how well I am.Anyway, here is my list: 2022 Reading List 1. Florida by Lauren Groff (RRC)  2. The Alienist by Caleb Carr 3. Under Currents by Nora Roberts 4. The Sea Sisters by Lucy Clarke 5. The Man Who died Twice by Richard Osman 6. Holding Up The Universe by Jennifer Niven (RRC) 7. The Unheard by Nicci French 8. Alone by Lisa Gardner  9. Again, Rachel by Marian Keyes 10. Don’t Speak by Vanessa Heath (RRC) 11. Trust Your Eyes by Linwood Barclay 12. The Girls In The Attic by Marius Gabriel 13. A Slow Fire Burning by Paula Hawkins 14. The Truth About Julia by Anna Schaffner 15. Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult 16. Aphrodite by Russell Andrews (RRC) 17. Windswept & Interesting: My Autobiography by Billy Connolly (Audiobook for RRC) 18. Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty 19. Buried by Mark Billingham 20. Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kayson (RRC) 21. The Outsider by Stephen King 22. One Small Act Of Kindness by Lucy Dillon 23. The Talented Mr Ripley by Patricia Highsmith 24. Before You Knew My Name by Jacqueline Bublitz 25. The Burning Chambers by Kate Mosse (RRC) 26. The End Of Her by Shari Lapena 27. And Away ... by Bob Mortimer (Audiobook for RRC) 28. The Crow Trap by Ann Cleeves 29. The Girls In The Garden by Lisa Jewell (RRC) 30. The Doctor by Lisa Stone 31. Bridge Of Clay by Markus Zusak 32. In My Shoes: My Poetic Journey from Abus to Victory by Lyn Crain 33. That Night by Gillian McAllister 34. The Old Curiosity Shop by Charles Dickens (RRC) 35. Beloved by Toni Morrison 36. Little White Lies by Philippa 37. Blind Spot by Paula Hawkins 38. The List by Carys Jones 39. Platform Seven by Louise Doughty 40. The Lingering by SJI Holliday (RRC) 41. Furious Hours by Casey Cep 42. The Bullet That Missed by Richard Osman 43. The Silent Companions by Laura Purcell 44. The Day We Disappeared by Lucy Robinson 45. The Guardians by John Grisham 46. Maura’s Game by Martina Cole 47. The Beloved Girls by Harriet Evans 48. Not A Happy Family by Shari Lapena 49. The Chameleon’s Shadow by Minette Walters 50. Two Women by Martina Cole 51. The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell 52. Last Seen by Lucy Clarke |
| I am taking a semi-break from WDC for a short while. Well, it's not really a break. I will be here every day and read everything that's going on. But, I'm just so tired at the moment. I am constantly trying to catch up with all my commitments (on and off WDC), but my brain does not want to play ball. This is down to, mainly, my mental health, I think. But it is also because of my physical health. My diabetes is not stable at the moment, and I've had problems getting the right medications (thank you, Brexiteers!). Anyway, the main reason for this blog post is to say the following contests/activities are on hiatus until December/January. "Verdant Poetry Contest - On Hiatus" "Second Time Around ~ Birthday Special" "The Taboo Words Contest ~ On Hiatus" "Rach's Chocolate Emporium " Don't worry, I will still send out all the MBs and award icons that have been purchased. As I said, I will still be here, lurking in the background, doing a few things. If you need anything from me, please, don't be afraid to contact me. I will be checking my email each day. Also, I am still running "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" because I wanted to keep one contest running.So, that is me. Hopefully, I will be back at full speed quickly. I just need to feel more me before I can be very helpful, I think. |
| The Great Hall shines with prismed light As banners wave with all their might Upon the bench, the centrepiece Surrounded by one dozen geese, A quarter stag, a loin of veal, Stuffed chickens, sturgeon, grace this meal By my side sits Francis Drake, A good friend (but that’s all he’ll make) His gift, a pendant packed with jewels, Made me, for a moment, drool But, while I’m fond of Frankie-boy His gift was just another ploy To win my heart (which shall not turn) Oh, will that playboy ever learn? A sugar plum excites my tongue It takes me back to days of young, My mother, the Queen Ann Boleyn, Obsessed with staying trim and thin, So, all her sweets were passed to me And I accepted them with glee Back to today, my birthday treat Determines cakes and strawberries, sweet Shall pass my lips, go to my hips, But so what? I’m now forty-six! A long life, I already claim And, I’m sure, I’ll go down in fame So, to the food, I raise a toast, “My birthday repast thrills me most.” 28 lines |
| What is a birthday without cake? Surely, the sugary treat is every bit as important as presents and spending time with loved ones? Am I right? Personally, I am a big fan of cake (and anything else that is sweet and delicious), so when I was given the task of making the cake for my friend's fortieth birthday, I revelled in the challenge. As a child, my parents always made my birthday cakes. My Dad was both a great cook and incredibly creative, and my Mum was good at coming up with ideas. So, every year, I had a custom-made cake in the shape of my Cabbage Patch Kid (not the prettiest of cakes, but I loved that toy), a horse, and Wonder Woman, to name but a few. The cake was always the biggest surprise for me, and Mum and Dad never revealed it until the party. Maybe that's why I am so in love with cakes today  Okay, maybe I just have a sweet tooth.So, back to my friend's birthday. I've made cakes before. You know, the standard type that are round and have butter cream in the middle and on top. Chocolate, coffee & walnut, lemon drizzle. I've made them, and, usually, they turn out well. For my friend, however, the 'birthday committee' (yes, really; it existed) decided a shoe with a stiletto heel would be perfect. And, yes. They were right. There was probably nothing more appropriate for my friend. But, and I ask this with genuine interest, have you ever tried to cut a stiletto shoe into a lump of sponge? It's impossible. Well, not impossible because professional cake makers do it. I baked three separate cakes, and each time I screwed up with the heel. The first time, I chopped it off, and the second it just came out as a messy lump of cake. The only good thing about this was I had a ton of sponge cake in the house. Vanilla rather than my favourite, chocolate, but cake, all the same. The day before the party, I was having visions of me having to spend the next morning scouring the country, trying to find a shoe-shaped cake that would feed fifty. However, on my final attempt, my hand steadied itself, and I cut out what I thought was a decent Louboutin. I poured myself a coffee and sat back to admire my work. My neighbour popped by for a chat, and I showed her my handiwork. "Take a look at this," I said. "Do you like it?" "Oh, cool. An elephant," came the reply. I can't pretend I wasn't hurt. I really thought I'd done a great job. "An elephant without legs?" I wanted to say, but my faith in my ability had just about dissipated. So, of course, I hit the shops for some grey food dye for the icing. And, if I do say so myself, it turned out okay. On the day of the party, everyone knew it was an elephant, albeit, a leg-less one. My friend loved it. The party was saved. And, I vowed to never, ever offer to make a cake for anyone again. 528 words |
| The moment I dreaded was finally here: my auntie’s house, full of birthday cheer, with twinkling eyes, she proffered my gift, from foot to foot, I had to shift. “Open it now,” she said with a grin, "show everyone what you find within.” Smiling back, I slowly unpeeled the paper, saw the present, I reeled, silver trousers, shining bright, I had to shield my eyes from their light, “How pretty,” my dear husband said “You should try them on, go ahead …” Grimacing, I climbed the stairs, into the bedroom, I sat on the chair, one leg first, then the other, they fit perfectly, “Oh bother!” In trepidation, I re-joined the crowd, my husband actually laughed out loud, I shot him a look that plainly said, when we get home, my love, you’re dead. 20 lines  Written for
Prompt: Worst Present Ever |
| Katherine smiled at Mel as the younger woman entered her bedroom. "Good morning, Mel," she said, smiling. "Good morning, Katherine. What a beautiful morning." Katherine looked for the smile beyond the mask, for the upturning of the carer's eyes to show the connection between the two. "I hear somebody has a birthday today. Is that right?" There. The smile threaded through her voice. "Yes. But I try not to count them too much at my age." She reached for the cup of tea Mel had placed on her table. "Thanks for this, dear. I was parched this morning." "You're welcome. I'm only stronger it's nothing stronger than tea. You should be drinking something cold and fizzy today." Mel chuckled as she stood in the doorway. "When you've finished that, I'll help you have a zoom call with your son." Katherine nodded, a lead balloon falling to the pit of her stomach. Since the pandemic began, John had only visited once. He came alone, and Susie stayed at home with the children. She missed them all. She missed their weekly visits that always brought such fun and laughter to her world. She sipped her tea and settled back in her chair. Last year, she turned eighty-nine. All her family surrounded her and wrapped her in their love. They all spoke of what she would do for her ninetieth. A day trip to Weston Beach with lunch at Harry Ramsden's. Maybe, even, a party with all her friends and family. Not that that number was anywhere near as high as it had been in the past. She had looked forward to her birthday. Until the pandemic arrived. Katherine's care home had closed to visitors three months ago. Residents she counted as friends entered hospital and never came home. Everything changed. "Are you ready, Katherine?" Mel entered the room. "Have you got your iPad ready?" Katherine reached for the tablet. "Here. You'll have to fire it up, I'm afraid. I can't use the thing, myself." Tapping the screen a few times, the picture came to life. Her son's smiling face appeared as if by magic. "Hi, Mum. Happy birthday!" "Happy birthday, Nanna!" Daniel and Matthew waved and commenced singing. When they reached the end of "Happy birthday to you" Katherine felt a warmth spread through her bones. They spoke for twenty minutes. It seemed much harder to hold conversations these days. When Mel returned to the room, she brought Ivan with her. "Right. Are you ready for us to take you to the communal area? We have a little surprise." Images of mint chocolate chip ice cream and Baileys on ice flitted through Katherine's mind. I would love a glass of Baileys right now. A chorus of "Happy birthday!" sounded as she entered the living room. As she settled herself into a chair, people started to sing. From the corridor, Mel emerged, carrying a cake. "Oh, this is wonderful," Katherine said, her cheeks flushing. "No candles, I'm afraid. We can't have anyone blowing onto it." Mel placed the cake on a table in the centre of the room. "Wait a minute. One more surprise ..." She pulled up the blind covering the window next to Katherine. There, the other side of the window, stood Katherine's daughter and grandchildren. "Lena." Katherine gasped. "My girl. And Harry and Carla. Oh, look at you all." She watched as her daughter placed her hand against the window. Standing slowly, she turned to face her little family. With all her heart, Katherine wanted to hug her daughter and grandchildren, to feel the warmth of their skin, smell the scent of their shampoo. But, this birthday was not like any other. This year, she had to be content with almost-contact and cake without candles. By the end of her day, she returned to her room, the sweetness of strawberry jam and icing still on her lips. "Next year, I will be with my family. Next year will be special." She paused. "Maybe, I'll do a wing walk, or something." 669 words |
Whew! Busy week. Lots of Chocolate Emporium orders for everyone's Secret Valentines. I just want to say this community is the best. So many people have joined in with gifting other people. I can actually feel the love  . A huge thank you to my Secret Valentine, too. You have been awesome  I've been busy offsite this week. I haven't had as much time to dedicate to WDC as I'd hoped I would. Monday, I had a blood test. These nasty blighters always leave me unable to concentrate for the rest of the day. So, not much achieved then. Then, last night, I had my first Covid vaccination. So (naturally) I spent the whole day freaking out that I'd have an anaphylactic shock and my throat would swell up and I'd suffocate. Not that I've ever been allergic to anything, but, well, you know. But, it didn't happen. I'm fine, and the only side effect is a bit of a sore and itchy arm. I'll take that! Anyhoo, this morning, I had to collect my prescriptions from the pharmacy, and they lost my diabetes injections, so I had to wait around while they sorted it. Then I got a phone call from the doctor's office saying something about my calcium levels are too high. She said the doctor will ring me. I don't know when. I'm not sure how serious this is. (Please, if you read this and know that it is very serious, don't tell me. It won't help.) Now, I don't feel inclined to do anything productive for for the rest of the day. So I might just read and cuddle with my dog. That is just about my limit for today. Tomorrow, I need to write reviews for my Chocolate Emporium, and Sunday, I need to write my poem for Promptly Poetry. It would be good if I could write some reviews the afternoon, but, I'll be honest, I'm exhausted! So. That's me updated. I'm hoping everything turns out okay. |
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