Blog @ Work

The man in the doorway. Suddenly: he’s there! Out of the blue: he’s there! Standing in your doorway! Standing still in your doorway! The man that visited your dreams over the years, sometimes, not always but frequently. The unknown man who made you feel good, the man who was there to hold you, to have sex with you. The man out of reach for so many years has finally turned up in real life. You didn’t even notice him at first, just a common man, a simple man with a nice face and good manners. One of a kind but not extraordinary at all. Till you meet up with him and you get to know him better, you get to know him more. Then suddenly: all is well. You communicate as real people, you touch as real people, and you interact. And then there is this realization: this is him! The man you have been secretly waiting for all those years. The man you have been comparing your lovers with. The man you could not find before. The man that was not there before. Is here now. Is here to stay. Don’t leave him, don’t ever leave him. He is your other half, he’s your significant other, he is real and you can touch him, you can hold him close to your heart. You can be with him. Choose him; choose what’s good for you. Choose what’s there all of a sudden, within you reach. Choose happiness!

I want to take on this new position in Life as were it a new job! I am fully equipped to take on this new job. Funny hat, crazy shoes, weird handbag, and dazzling hair - I'm so ready for this interview! It’s a good day, it’s been what I have always wanted and now it’s within my reach…I am totally confident this is the position especially made for me to fill in. It’s mine for the take. I take it…I want it…I say YES!

I have no wound of not knowing. I am of the philosophy: Life is on a need to know basis. If you don’t know the answer it’s something beyond your scope, beyond your handling, beyond your reach of control and there is no need to be bothered much. Of course, in earlier years I have had my share of thinking what if…what if I didn’t experience this, would my life be different in the end and how would it have turned out if it was that way. But I learned to let go. Things have a way of turning up, of happening in your life for a reason. Try to figure out what happened and what you can learn from it in the here and now. Then move on. That’s not always easy, I know, but at least there is no (longer a) wound. I am grateful of that!

Monkey steals groceries from walking lady. It sort of looks funny, but it is not of course because this ape is almost as big as a human being and shows no shyness towards the lady. In fact, it is a dangerous situation, it can turn ugly.

I met wild monkeys in large numbers on the isle of Sumatra, Indonesia. The monkeys were smaller in size but as cocky as this big baboon. They were showing their faces and did their tricks at the side of the roads. The cab driver advised me then and there to never get out of the car with those monkeys present. They would get dangerous and attack you on a bad day. So I kept far from them.

I also did see Orang Utans there, and those animals are wonderful. They are on the verge of extinction so it’s great that there are shelters where people take care of the animals in their natural habitat.

My holiday period has already started in a way. The weather was beautiful the last couple of days, and I have enjoyed the outdoors tremendously. Today, the second day of Pentecost I traveled with my stepmom, my cousin and her husband to three small villages near the waterlines. A lot of boats, old buildings, churches, and little quaint shops. We had brunch, tea, and dinner outdoors. It was a lovely day. At the end of this week, I am also visiting the fairytales theme park in my country. I feel blessed with the lovely company of my family and my new found lover. This is going to be a really good summer period, I can tell already.

Prompt: After learning what’s right and wrong, what is the most important psychological asset to cultivate within oneself? Why? Tell us what you think.(BC)

Time in a turtle. The slow pace of Time. The tortoise is a symbol of wisdom and knowledge and is able to defend itself on its own. It personifies water, the moon, the Earth, time, immortality, and fertility.

Wikipedia tells us:

In the southern part of Africa, story tales about a tortoise named Fudukazi are common. Fudukazi gave the animals their color. Ijapa the tortoise (alternatively called Alabahun) is a trickster, accomplishing heroic deeds or getting into trouble in a cycle of tales told by the Yoruba of Nigeria and Benin Republic (West Africa).
Turtle "Shetyw", "Shetw", "Sheta", "shtyw" was common in Ancient Egyptian Art.
In ancient Mesopotamia, the turtle was associated with the god Ea and was used on kudurrus as a symbol of Ea.

One of Aesop's fables is The Tortoise and the Hare.

Ketupat penyu is made from a coconut leaf to appear like a turtle. It is used in a ritual to banish the ghosts in Malay traditional medicine.

In China the traditional Chinese character symbolizing the turtle (龜) shows a head like that of a snake at the top, to the middle left of the paws, to the middle right of the shell, and at the bottom of the tail. According to the "Book of ceremonies", the single-horned rhino, phoenix, tortoise, and dragon are the four entities that possess spirit.

In Hindu mythology the world is thought to rest on the backs of four elephants who stand on the shell of a turtle.[30] In Hinduism, Akupara is a tortoise who carries the world on his back, upholding the Earth and the sea.

According to traditional Japanese beliefs, the tortoise is a haven for immortals and the world mountain and symbolizes longevity, good luck, and support. It is the symbol of Kumpira, the god of seafaring people.

Many legends of Vietnam connect closely to the turtle. During the time of Emperor Yao in China, a Vietnamese King's envoy offered a sacred turtle (Vietnamese: Thần Quy) which was carved in Khoa Đẩu script on its carapace writing all things happening from the time Sky and Earth had been born. Yao King ordered a person to copy it and called it Turtle Calendar.

The World Turtle carries the Earth upon its back in myths from North America; for this reason, many aboriginal North Americans refer to it as Turtle Island. In Cheyenne tradition, the great creator spirit Maheo kneads some mud he takes from a coot's beak until it expands so much that only Old Grandmother Turtle can support it on her back. In Mohawk tradition, the trembling or shaking of the Earth is thought of as a sign that the World Turtle is stretching beneath the great weight that she carries.

Turtles are beloved by many Indigenous South American cultures and have thus entered their mythologies. According to many of these myths, the Jebuti (Portuguese: jabuti, pronounced: [ʒɐbuˈtʃi], "land turtle") obtained its mottled shell in a fall to earth as it attempted to reach the heavens with the help of an eagle in order there to play a flute at a celebration.

I’d like to pick Princess Megan Rose GOT Fox who writes romantic stories and Stephen Kong who writes horror stories. It would make an interesting cross of romantic horror. A new genre. It would be a challenge to see what they come up with in their teaming up. The beauty and the beast meet Jack Nicholson in a remote hotel? Everything is possible…

I love Science Fiction in movies. I am a big fan of Star Trek and I think it’s very commendable to watch all those episodes of worlds, people, places, situations and gadgets that do not exist other than by their mere invention. It’s awesome and thought-provoking most of the time because it forces you to think very much outside the box. Science Fiction in literature is a lightly other matter because I sometimes don’t understand the details of the technical stuff they put in there. But it gives rise to dreaming of other worlds and times in the future. A lot of this art has actually become the birth father of the things they invented in real time. “To boldly go where no man has gone before!”

Max has an appointment today with a wizard. To please him he will bring hemlock for in Wizzard's Bare Bunker called home. He will whisper in his ear the word “desire” and get him drunk, or in a fight to distract him, and try to pilfer from him the secret of Life before he throws a blade in his heart to overthrow his power.

The sun was shining bright, it was a lovely day. She was in the water. Her body underneath the surface, only her head showed.

Arms and legs in slow-motion, waving, turning and twirling.

Suddenly the current grabbed her feet and pulled her under water. She struggled but it was no use…her body sank and she couldn’t breathe. She wanted to scream, but no one was there but the silent ocean. Water filled her nose, her ears, and her mouth. She was totally and utterly alone and desperate.

Within seconds the panic died, she no longer was.

There was only stillness. And a faint memory of a girl who loved swimming alone on a bright day.

Ten days later a body washed ashore. Death didn’t become her.

There is only one thing trending on social media. And that’s the strange tweet of President Trump. Furthermore, I never been much interested in what’s trending or not. Only when there is a big disaster or breaking news of some kind I will look into the matter.

For me, what’s working best so far is trying to write every day, without exception. Blogging is, therefore, the answer to writer’s block, for me. My Muse is active every day and that keeps her occupied and alive. Just the ritual of writing in the morning hours provides the right atmosphere for my writing daily.

Two people on the road to nowhere and everywhere. It’s a fixed road, this railway track. Because they are together and will stay together if they are lucky and make that conscious choice every day, of every week of every month.

But they cannot see that far ahead, so the trip they are experiencing together is a journey with new perspectives to explore. It’s a grand endeavor and not without risks involved. Risks of getting hurt, being misunderstood, boredom and fights over nothing particular. It’s a moment in time, a photo freeze of the joyous ride they are taking.

What will they see, taste, hear, grasp and smell? Will they be able to hold on to their bond together without growing apart at the first big wind? These are questions, nobody can answer in advance. That’s the beauty of it…a fixed road with a flexible outcome?

I wish this couple the wisdom, love, and kindness together on their voyage ahead into the unknown.

Nice meeting you ~ out of the blue came a friendship request on Facebook

I have discovered Facebook a long time ago. It’s nice to have a forum where friends can meet and share items on topics of interest. Now and again I am online when one of my buddies is too and we chat. Sometimes briefly, sometimes for hours. It’s fun, it’s innocent, it’s social networking and part of communicating in the twenty-first century.

But on this Monday morning, I received an anonymous friendship request from a guy called Peter. Normally I click away such nonsense immediately; there is no reason to take such a request seriously if it comes from complete strangers. Why should I? I am an independent woman with a small close knitted group of friends and that’s enough for me.

But this particular message intrigued me.

The request came from someone called Peter from South Africa, and the picture showed a landscape with mountains.

Now, it happened to be that South Africa was one of the countries on my bucket list; I really wanted to visit there some day, so I got side tracked for a moment and clicked on the Confirm Request Button without even knowing it. The connection was made instantly; we were now “friends” on Facebook.

I totally forgot about it until a week later there appeared a message on my personal page. It was the stranger from South Africa.

It read:

“Hello beautiful,
I have wanted to meet you ever since I saw your picture on the internet. I normally don’t bother to act on such a thing, but this was different and I thought to write you this message. How are you in your part of the world? Are you happy, with many friends and loved ones? Are you married with kids? I love to write to you if that’s okay. Greetings from Lesotho, South Africa.
Peter.”

It was such a simple note, without a doubt nothing really special, but it spoke to me right away. And I answered back.

Within minutes there was a reply, very personal, witty and full of good-natured humor.

The next hour we chatted and chatted. By the end of the week, we spoke on Facebook every day and part of the night.

Slowly but gradually I got used to his messages, they were simple but eloquent and they touched my core.

We exchanged email addresses and for the next weeks, we were corresponding every day with long emails. I got used to Peter and he was on my mind a lot.

Then suddenly, out of the blue, he wanted to meet me. I was exhilarated. This wonderful man seemed like an answer to my prayers, a welcome asset to my lonely world…and he wanted to travel 5814 miles to see me? Me, lonely, awkward me, this girl with a simple job in a shoe factory? With no real attachment in the world except for family and some close friends? Could he be the boyfriend I was longing for? Could he be my Prince Charming? I had to find out!

I never hesitated and agreed we should meet in Amsterdam. He should travel by plane on a preset date and I would meet him at the airport.

I was so ecstatic, I was humming every day, my life was upside down and my future was bright. I secretly was falling in love with this guy and I was a bit nervous to our final meet.

On June first I traveled to the airport in great anticipation.

At the set time, nobody came out of the traveler’s area and after one hour of patiently waiting I got a little worried. So I rang him on the phone.

He immediately answered and was audibly upset. Something had happened. He was still in Lesotho, but he got mugged. All of his money was gone. He couldn’t come to Holland to visit. Unless?

I immediately understood what I had to do. I transferred 2000 euro to his account, and since he would pay back the amount immediately after arrival I was completely sure this was the right thing to do.

I wanted to see my lovely man so bad it ached…

Of course, I never heard of him ever again!

He left me heartbroken, lonely and alone, with a debt of 2000 euro.
I was scammed good!

It’s been twelve months now since I discovered Writing.com and I am still in awe! This site has proven to be the best thing I ever did: joining and participating in reading, writing and reviewing in the most incredible writer’s community I have ever been a part of. Thank all of you for making that possible.

I am somewhat ambitious for this summer. I have on my reading list 5 books. I want to make time to read (parts) of:

The Larousse Encyclopedia of Music
A. Roland Holst, Fire in Snow (Dutch poetry)
Peter Schaap, The Wolver (Dutch fantasy)
Ilja Leonard Pfeiffer, Letters from Genua (Dutch novel)
William Shakespeare, Sonnets (I –CLIV)

The most romantic month would be this last month of May. I’ve met this incredible lovely guy, we hit it off immediately. So far I have spent a lot of time with him both offline and online and it was great! We went to the movies, we went to the beach, we hiked in the countryside and all was really, really nice. He made me two love poems and I wrote one love poem back. All very romantic!

I think the spring has the most weddings because of its notion to new beginnings; January must be the month of the most divorces, right after half of the wintertime and right after Xmas. I am not sure why I think that I did not research the topic.

I think that is the case indeed. A bookcase is a very personal display of a person’s mind. And the grocery cart would give you an indication of personal eating habits. And we all know the saying: you are what you eat! So in this way you get to know a person real quick. This is, of course, a very shallow assessment. To really know a person you have to spend time with them, preferably in their natural habitat. Over a longer period of time.

The start of new things. May is always the month of the spring, of the excitingly new possibilities of Life. It is the month the birds are nesting and giving eggs and offspring. It is the month of the color green and of smells. With the sunshine on the meadows, everything is more powerful, more radiant, and more alive than ever before. I already spent an afternoon at the beach. Lying in the sand, playing with the grains of sand and hearing the roaring of the ocean in my ears while kissing the one I am in love with…ah…blessed month of May 2017.

I have created a story with Espero for the Rising Stars Program. It was fun and the collaboration worked really well for the both of us. What I learned from her is that she is really an inspiration to work with. She is soooo good at writing a story; I was flabbergasted as what her mind could come up with. It was awesome!

This month my personal life is in a flow, everything seems to work as it should, thanks to a new man in my life. The Muse is very content with the new circumstances and is working with me. I should say, the Muse is working with us since he is a poet as well. We seem to inspire each other a great deal. That is totally new to me and I am in awe of the things that are possible if you have the right person at your side, at the right moment in time. I’ll go with the flow and stay open for new adventures, both in writing as in my personal life. My blog was more personal than other months because of it.

I never considered writing for audio before. I love the possibilities of audio books, podcasts, and YouTube, though. But during the Rising Stars Program we were asked to write a stand-up comedian piece "An introduction"  [13+] and slam poetry "My voice"  [E]. It was the first time I had to consider writing for sound and performance. I was a little apprehensive at first. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the means to put it to the test of airing it or performing live. But the effort was there in writing those pieces. It was a different approach in writing. I liked doing it. It will be a great asset to Literature I think since it allows a whole new generation to listen and experience and create themselves the wonders of the written word. Literature is now not only about reading and imagining the words inside your head, but also as part of an experience with more senses, eyes, and ears in sound and live performance.

Leaving boyfriends in the past, it was what I did frequently in my younger years. When I wasn’t happy in a relationship I tried working on it, obviously, but if it didn’t work I was the one who left. Therefore, except for three years of living together in my twenties, I never had long relationships. I wanted out most of the time after a while. And I am very good in living alone and being on my own, so there was no need for me to stay while unhappy with the way things went. I got bored? I left. I fell out of love? I left. I was upset or angry for a longer period? I left. That way I could stay sincere with both my partner of the moment and of myself. I never lost my integrity. But I often wondered if I was suited for a life with someone else. I hope to have the chance to find out!

I am in the middle of the process of laying eggs. Since my meetup with a very inspiring man and poet, I have written three poems in the Dutch language again. That is extraordinary since I wrote solely in English now. I haven’t written a decent Dutch poem in years. Thanks to this wonderful team-up I am totally inspired. It is hopefully the start of a wonderful collaboration of spirits and souls. I am eagerly looking forward what the Muses will provide for this period in time.

I’ve written about my uncle Frits, who was a soldier and died very young in 1961. See: "Uncle Frits, waiting and full moon" . He got a plaquette posthumously awarded for his services. The whole family was there to receive the award. It was very memorable to honor him so many years after the fact.

Everyday heroes are not in the public eye. They perform their heroic act and remain almost anonymous. They are a strong force behind a lot of random acts. Heroes who gain fame are noticed by a larger audience and gone public.
I have been a hero once, years ago when I rescued a woman and mother of three from the quicksand. She went public to a journalist with it and it was an item in the local newspaper. My boss heard about it and did send a bunch of flowers to my house. It was something everybody would have done under the circumstances. Luckily I was able to help being at the right moment at the right time.

I am not sure if they perform still, but I loved The Talking Heads back then. I would love for them to make a comeback…

In my country, there are the questionable views of right-wing politician Geert Wilders. He got high up in the last elections, unfortunately, but a lot of people voted for him. Also in my town, in my own neighborhood, a lot of people agreed with his views on immigrants, Europe, banning Muslims and generally have similar ideas as President Trump in the USA. I would gently ask my friend to reconsider his views and be more positive about necessary changes that are inevitable in the world of today. I think their views are fueled by fear and refusal to change with our multi-cultural society. Half-truths and misinformation and simple gut-feelings are very dangerous these days! They divide groups of people from one and other and are a menace to present and future of our planet!

I only once went to a garage sale in my former hometown Leyden. I was walking down the street on a Saturday morning when I passed this house with a sign that there was a sale. It turned out to be a painter from Australia, who had lived there for a number of years and was returning back to his home country. He sold the lot. So I entered his house: a lot of books and paintings. I choose this wonderful colorful painting, signed at the back for 10 bucks as I recall. It’s been 30 years since, but that painting is still hanging in my living room. I absolutely love it!

What? I am going to take a quick shower Why? Because the man I am in love with is visiting this morning. We are going for a bike ride. When? On this beautiful Saturday morning. How? He is going to rent a bike at the station and I have my own bike here. Where? In the Hague, my city in the Netherlands. Who? His name is Martin, and he is sooo cute!

To narrow it down, I was a little bit lonely sometimes because I was always alone, writing. I hated that for the long run so I decided to do something about it. A little bit silly but it worked: I met a lovely man. The cobwebs in my brain disappeared overnight and I don’t have to fear any longer my life will be evanescent. I am building sacred memories as we speak.

My outdoor AND indoor toys as a child were the same: books! I didn’t play with dolls or anything, I was reading ALL the time. When I was 3 years old, I already held the book my father read to me at bed times out loud. Others were amazed I could read at such young age! Till my parents put the book upside down back in my hands and I could read it again…I memorized the book of course… didn’t know how to read at all.

Perhaps it’s that feeling of recognition that sticks in your mind. As if you’ve been here before and recognizes parts of that landscape or the emotion of how it makes you feel sticks with you for some apparent reason. Did you visit before in that landscape? In a dream? In a former life?

I was just wondering the other day how come nobody from my past had grown into a celebrity of some sorts. Until this week when I discovered an old friend from my primary school years was starting a new career as a politician in the town where I spend my childhood. She was starting as an alderman in the city’s town hall. That was a fun surprise. I wished her all the best at Facebook of course!

I love this guy; I am also in love with this guy. It’s one big thing and lots of little things why I feel this way about him. We met online (Fivesixer and Kit of House Lannister I am following in your footsteps!) and are communicating online as much as possible and we have had a real date in real time two times now. This morning will be our third date. I am so thrilled, glad and honored to have met this wonderful man who brings the best of me out in the open. In the past 25 days everything has changed, and yet everything is still the same…the ideal combination for me as a writer and a person who have to stay also focused on everyday writing and living. This is one of those rare things that can happen in life and I am experiencing it now!

I am totally comfortable where I am right now, but if there were an invisible ship that would take me some place I would like to be transported right now to Java, Indonesia. There, only yesterday evening my time, another terrorist bombing took place in Jakarta. A double bombing this time that took a few lives and got a few people injured. I would like to pay my respects to those affected since Indonesia is where my roots are. My late mother and the family were born in Indonesia and brought to the Netherlands by ship in the 1950s. I have visited that great country twice and I absolutely love it. I was sad this happened again in Indonesia.

Audrey Hepburn was a great actress, model, and humanist! A wise grand old dame of the big screen for so many years. I loved her. This quote is almost spot on for me. I would add: Now and much later you start absorbing what you see, thinking about it, looking it up in a book and remembering because you can’t take it in all at once!

I feel that also in the very moment it happens I am aware of some of its significance and be as open, as sensitive and respondent as possible. I try to create memories for immediate after or much later in time.

I would rather be a sailor and sail the waters of the world. With my hair in the wind, the sound of water against the boat and freedom in my heart and ears! Long ago I tried to get my sailing license but I flunked it, unfortunately. I didn’t quite understand the practice of sailing, although I got my theory exam. Years later I was on a sailing holiday trip in Friesland, a province with lots of water. It was on a big sailing ship with ten or twelve others and the crew. It was a lovely experience until I stepped off board on a slippery path and sprained my ankle. Aww. . Luckily for me, one of the others was a physiotherapist who knew how to treat this. But I had to sit aboard for the remaining days and couldn’t do much. It was beautiful weather and I sat at the railing enjoying myself, watching the beautiful landscape passing by. The young captain and I had a wonderful chat. He was lovely! It was a great 10 days of spiritual moments. I love being on the water. My family has boats and my uncle and cousin were sailors, captains on big ships. They sometimes invited me on a trip out on the waters.

This is certainly true for me. I am sure miracles do exist. As a matter of fact I am experiencing one right these weeks. Miracles are unexpected situations and moments where everything is glorious and wonderful. Dreams are coming true in real life. The things you want and expect secretly are turning out to be actually happening in real life. These moments and situations are rare, but when they do happen everything changes in a way. Miracles have to do with wonders and marvel. It makes you feel so good and leaves you flabbergasted and in awe!

I try to live in the moment and take the day as it comes, one day at the time. It’s a Zen mentality I like very much. It’s stress-free, I am in the flow and I am enjoying life to the fullest.

While I am reading this I am finishing a burger . I am not supposed to eat it since it’s actually not very good for my health since I am a diabetic and have to be careful with what I put into my mouth. But I am also a little bit lazy so it’s just convenient food for me while needing lunch. If I want to do the right thing I know burgers and the lot are no longer available for me and I have to avoid it. I will start tomorrow.

I think of my late mother, who died in 2000 and my late father who died in 2015. It is good to remember them so the chain of the family, of my personal history, is not broken. I talk to their photos in my house, perhaps, and light a candle in their remembrance. And I have some burning scent. That's about it, really.

It’s not okay to just assume you are entitled to something. In a way, you have to earn it, by working for it or enabling it to happen. But you must put an effort in it to own up.

Entitlement: the fact of having a right to something. Having a right is a difficult concept. You have the right to live since you are born, but that’s about it…everything else is a bonus in a way. But working for something or towards a cause or preferred state does mean something nonetheless. You can hope for a certain outcome, but you must try to never take things (or people) for granted.

People who feel they are entitled to stuff automatically are perhaps a little bit egotistical and think they can just own stuff without much consideration for other people or circumstances. They put me, me, me, first. They can, therefore, overlook the needs and wants of others and that’s not an admirable trait. But it happens, so you have to know yourself and be considerate when you spot this in yourself.