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One man's journey to find the way home |
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Created: August 15th, 2016 at 3:49pm
Modified: October 24th, 2023 at 1:13pm
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I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from.
After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit.
I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY?
Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation....
WELCOME!!
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| Gifts to my grandkids: a reminder that without God I have no business being here and loving those as beautiful and wonderful as you. |
April 24, 2019 at 10:11pm
April 24, 2019 at 10:11pm
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| Back to the old grind, just when I was about to say now it gets easier. The account go down to 5000 and I am running scared. Whatever happened to trusting God? I will test more of my limits. Maybe I will make it to The age of one hundred after all. Time will tell. |
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| Here I lay meditative. I listen for God. I am working and working and praying for an answer as to how best to use my time so I can best take care of myself and others. I will sleep, knowing God is in control. I will wake to a resurrection of being in relationship to others who know the end is the beginning of something more wonderful than can ever be imagined. |
April 22, 2019 at 10:09am
April 22, 2019 at 10:09am
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| I am on a mission. In the midst is the reality that I will run out of resources. I had 8400 for a time. I will no doubt drop down 1000 and be faced with paying down debt. It is quite the ordeal. I am tired thinking about it even as I am getting down to 69 weeks to go before I am. Today it seems like eternity. My feet are fickle |
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| I can not sleep. It is frustrating. I guess the essence of resurrection is awakening to truth. How can that happen if your body refused to sleep.?? |
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| I am still in the fight. I am not ready to give up yet. I need only enter another day. One day at a time is my new anthem. Yet I am so very tired and I cannot expect it to get better for a while. God give me strength and the wonder and glory of knowing resurrection. |
April 17, 2019 at 10:17am
April 17, 2019 at 10:17am
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| I am in sleep mode. I work and work. I can only trust in God's time it gets better. Much of my angst is seeing my teams go down. When in truth I need to be happy for the time they have shined and lifted my spirits when I was in the throes of feeling hopeless. God give me strength, a vision to wake up to praise you regardless of circumstances. |
April 17, 2019 at 10:17am
April 17, 2019 at 10:17am
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| I am in sleep mode. I work and work. I can only trust in God's time it gets better. Much of my angst is seeing my teams go down. When in truth I need to be happy for the time they have shined and lifted my spirits when I was in the throes of feeling hopeless. God give me strength, a vision to wake up to praise you regardless of circumstances. |
April 16, 2019 at 11:05am
April 16, 2019 at 11:05am
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| All tired out! I wonder what it will take to get my groove back. I need to start work on my sermon. Out of the depths is at the heart of what I have to share. In my house our many rooms to explore, uncover, and unveil. A wonderful place to enter into when it is time to depart, not a leaving but a coming back of rediscovery, a remembrance of the wonderful world of Jacques Cousteau. The heights offer the joy of knowing what it means to give thanks in all manner of circumstance. I can hardly wait to see what is next. And then there is the moment by moment unveiling of my story as I seek the place of not being comfortable, knowing the comforter in the person of the holy spirit puts courage in us just when it looked to the world that the wind was knocked out of us. A lot to ponder and process in a few months. It ought to be a great sermon. |
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| I am got lost as so many other of m isy writings. I am who I am and knowing that I accept the arrival and departure of my ideas. I need to keep in mind all thoughts are witin reach. In time I will capture the only jewels of consciousness that matter. That is what I live for. |
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