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My nickname, Mistress Krissy, is what my husband calls me. I'm his queen bee! |
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In 2016, my marriage went up in flames. My husband started an affair in February, although he denies it. He is now married to the girl. They had a baby together. I wasn't sad for myself when I found out - I was sad for the 2 kids he already had with me (as of 2016 they were 7 years old and 6 MONTHS old) that he didn't make a priority. He told me, before the divorce was final, that he didn't owe child support until the court ordered it (what?) so when I was broke, living with my mom, working in an arcade because they were the only ones to hire me, he refused to help. I moved from Texas to Oklahoma, he stayed in Texas, as soon as I figured out the affair. He stopped paying the house, and it got foreclosed...with all of our belongings in it. I had managed to get a few big, important items. After that, he had the locks changed. My car (which was HIS car by legal ownership on the loan) got repossessed because he stopped paying for it. Luckily, my wonderful parents let me buy a car under their name and loan, and I pay them every month. The parents are wonderful. I'll never be able to fully repay them for everything they've done. Mid-2016 I met P, through an online site that I joined just for the hell of it. I wanted to see how much attention I could get! Is it silly? Yes. But I am so glad I did. P had just gotten divorced and moved from Alaska to Missouri, where he was living with his sister. We met in person for the first time in August. By November, we had moved in together, after he got a cheap apartment here in H-town (not the big H-town, the population 5000 one in Oklahoma). Best decision I've ever made. In 2017, the divorce and bankruptcy were finalized! I wish that meant all ties were cut but that isn't true. I'm the one that paid for both. I'm the one that attended court for both. I'm the one that had to walk the ex-h through what he had to do. I was, once again, the adult and acting secretary between us, like I'd been for the past decade of marriage. It was a rocky year. I set up a garnishment account with the state of Oklahoma. Ex-h was a job hopper to avoid the garnishments. He said he couldn't afford to pay for the kids, they were already living on a shoestring (like he knows what that means!). Mid-2017 I got my job at CAG and met wonderful friends, the first big win since my divorce. I also joined a charity group, which is even more awesome. I absolutely love the camaraderie I've gotten from it. In 2018, it was fairly uneventful. Ex-h's tax refund got garnished, as expected. I got almost none of it, because the state kept their share for the low-income medical I had the kids on. I didn't know they could do that, but as much as I'd love to have gotten that big chunka change, I was also grateful they'd had medical all year. I was getting a small amount of food stamps for myself. Mid-2018, P and I got engaged. He proposed while we were at the theater to watch Avengers: Infinity War. I was in my Captain America dress and he in his matching shirt. Our engagement pictures were 50s style in front of the OKC ferris wheel. My lovely older sister did the session for free - she was just happy to be using her fancy camera! In 2019, P and I got married! Best decision I've ever made. The kids love him. My (now 4 year old calls him "daddy" and calls her bio-dad "dad", so she knows who is who but I am so happy there is the obvious bond between them. My (now) 10 year old just calls him by his first name but they also have a very strong bond. He goes to him for the boy advice - the stuff I can't answer by experience - and it makes my heart extremely happy. End of 2019 I had a little bit of a health scare and took a leave from work - I had no FMLA protection because I had gone part-time. I was told the position would be waiting for me when I was ready. Spoiler alert: she lied. It was NOT waiting on me. The morale dipped super low when the new HR took over. If I absolutely wanted the job back, all I have to do is talk to the actual person in charge. But, I don't. It is now 2020! Ex-h now lives in Louisiana. He followed some job there. The garnishments have been fairly long term, so I get semi-regular child support which really helps. I've started banking it, with plans to open their own savings accounts. The company he works for needs to read up on the laws for sending payments in...they went a few months without sending and then sent all at once. He's lucky his refund wasn't garnished even more than it already was! If he had been much farther behind, he could have lost his driver license. Not that I care...but no job, no payments, so there's that! I told him he needed to talk to his employer because they weren't sending garnishments and he told me he wouldn't and that I didn't need to worry about his business. What? Once a man-child, always a man-child. |
| March 14, 2020 Wow, this has been an eventful week on all fronts, to say the least. First, my new job: Monday was my first day, I went out to lunch with my controller and Bill (whom I am not sure where he is on my "chain of command" but he interviewed me with the controller). It was...okay. We talked a little bit about charity work and Hollywood and little chatter like that. She's very nice, and from my unapologetic view, she and Bill seem to have a little bit of an office romance going. Or maybe, on a more innocent note, they're just very sibling-like. That's all I'll say about it. Tuesday - my trainer was gone, so I had to just ask the girls if they had anything for me to enter. I get quite a few batches, which was great, and I did them all manually-entered so it took up a big part of my day and I was happy with that. It's a very casual environment, they encourage everyone to work on their own, headphones are allowed(!) and the only thing they really get a little nanny-ish on is "time tracking" which they want you to break down your whole day and describe how much time you spent on each task like coding, entering, reviewing, scanning, posting...like, what? Dumbest thing I've ever heard of. But, whatever. I don't even remember where to go to get to it, I have to ask my trainer again. Wednesday - MY FAVORITE DAY....I GOT A FREE 15 MINUTE MASSAGE AT WORK. Yes, it was amazing. It was an actual masseuse, not just some guy from another floor or something weird. First professional massage I've ever had in my life (yes, seriously). I definitely won't be waiting another 34 years. We get a free massage every month. There's also 2 yoga sessions a week, they all gather on the 5th floor in an empty room and a yogi comes in and they all do it together on lunch break for 30 minutes. I don't do yoga, but how awesome is that? Thursday - not very memorable. I think my energy had been drained, maybe we can all agree that the first week of work is mentally exhausting, besides having to get up at 6 am after 3 months of staying up late and sleeping in. I messed up quite a few times, in the end I finally fixed it all, but it was not nearly as much efficiency as the other days. Friday - The only thing I really remember is everyone talking about the Coronavirus. Toilet paper is GONE from the shelves at basically every store in the area. (I've stuck to my point of view...if you're worried about being stuck at home, why toilet paper? Jump in the shower and wash your butt! It's way more hygenic anyway!) My controller started going around asking if we had the resources to work from home in a worst case scenario which, I won't lie, kinda freaks me out that the situation is coming to this. I do have the resources...my scanner kinda sucks, it would be one page at a time, but maybe they could hold off on the scanning until work opens again? Or I could just use this as an excuse to buy a better one. All in all....I am really liking this new job. I finally feel like I'm in a company that I can stay and advance in. I finally feel like I'm working at a place that suggests wearing green on St. Patrick's day and I won't roll my eyes at it. Does it help they're paying me more than I've gotten paid anywhere else? Yes, absolutely. But the environment as a whole is very agreeable with what I want in a professional environment. In closing, the online reviews I read about this company admittedly freaked me out. A LOT of negative reviews! One person said "Good luck trying to find time for your free massage or yoga" but I'm realizing that was a THEM problem, not a company problem. Even on Tuesday, the busiest day for me, I found myself looking for something to do. Yes, it is high volume, but for the right person and experience, high volume doesn't seem so bad. The corporate recruiter that called me, whom I almost didn't call back, told me they understood my skepticism because of the reviews (I definitely brought that up when they approached me) but when they said the keystroke minimum, and I said I had it, they asked me my salary request, I told them, and he set up an interview for the following day. That's when I knew they were serious about really wanting to treat the right person right. I'm so glad I took the chance on this company. |
| I begin a new job tomorrow. I have various feelings about it. I really liked the old office and the trips we took every year. It was a nice perk but I found myself only staying there so I could still go on the trips. I will miss the friends I made. It is a little bit insulting to me that those friends hardly talk to me anymore, though. It's funny how we can spend 40 hours a week with a group of people and know more about each other than anyone else, but as soon as we aren't together daily, the communication stops. I will stay grateful for the friends I made, though. They celebrated my divorce and my fresh new beginning. Later, they celebrated my engagement and new marriage. They liked seeing the pictures of the kids and hearing about the animals. I hope I can make new friends just as easily while working at the new place. It's a much bigger company and there's a lot more room for professional advancement, which is also very exciting. |
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