This is me, my writing, and experiences. |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I'm Steven, "WYRM" member. I might also be known for something which I'm sure will occupy many pages of this journal in time: http://wyrmsgauntlet.com I've used the alias 'Stargopher' since I joined WDC all the way back when. I rarely sign off that way anymore, preferring my own name, but for now, given the things I'm going to talk about, I like the anonymity it gives me. Back then, I used to read WDC blogs. I've always toyed with the idea of sharing one of my own, but never did, fearing I had nothing worthwhile to say, or that I'd lack the consistency I enjoyed in the work of others. And there was always this thought: my private life is my private life. I just resolved to read them. But I've fallen off, in all reality. I read social media blurbs of long gone friends and distant relatives. Offsite, I skim newsletters and the book reviews of people I have tried to get to know, but barely do. On WDC, I have kept up with exactly one item: "Taming the Stars" But I'm reminded of a quote that has always been very apt for me. There is a time when a thing in the mind is a heavy thing to carry, and then it must be put down. But such is its nature that it cannot be set on a rock or shouldered off on to the fork of a tree, like a heavy pack. There is only one thing shaped to receive it, and that is another human mind. There is only one time when it can be done, and that is in a shared solitude. ~Theodore Sturgeon, "Scars" So I come to this again ▼ |
Ode to My Mates March 2, 2020 at 10:28am And so, it was inevitable that another tale of writing non-payment should come to an end. I feel like I can say, for one calendar year, I made an effort to write about something I enjoyed, and was--at least by word count--the most productive I'd ever been. But time squeezed me, and pride made me itch, and self-belief made me quit.
This is the tale of my exit from the popular and awesome YouTube outfit I've referenced without naming here (but since I'm out of there, it's Wres... [Read more] The Winds of Fortune are Howling April 24, 2019 at 12:51pm My theory on life while at my job has evolved somewhat over time. I remember an LJ post I wrote years ago, pondering the very spot I am in.
If you lay low, and try not to bug anyone, you can just do your job, and go home, and not worry. Like 99.9% of kids, I never wanted any part of this place more than I had to have. Life’s expensive, but that wasn’t it. There’s something mental that happens when you’re always taking orders from people you don’t respect, or who don’t respect you... [Read more] Promises to Keep February 27, 2019 at 12:48am Hey, somebody sent me a CNote for Valentine's. Was it you??
In the beginning there was one murderer, one mule and one boy, but this isn't the beginning, it's before it, it's me, and I'm Mathew, and here I am, in the kitchen, in the night--the old river mouth of light--and I'm punching and punching away.
So begins the novel Bridge of Clay by Markus Zusak. Although I haven't dug into it yet, I was captured by that first sentence. There is something you can ... [Read more] If You Plant a Seed December 28, 2018 at 1:16pm There’s always been something about this time of year. It’s an ‘it never rains, but it pours’ time of year. I know that. The Winter depression thing I get doesn’t help. I’ve got to thank the simple tasks like wrapping presents or driving which have helped keep my mind off of dread-type things. I don’t even know where to begin as far as my work foray into Hazard County goes. I could spend hours typing and still not cover it all. The shock of the fact that this place actually exists ... [Read more] Skin in the Game October 18, 2018 at 2:29pm I’ve been through most of what I’m about to write with family, friends, and co-workers, so I hope making a record of things here won’t stir up even more of my rage, or self-analysis. I don’t think it will. Writing really is my therapy, and it bothers me that I haven’t been by here in a couple months. There’s never a good time to do anything, and there’s never enough time to do anything.
That leads me, first, to the Gauntlet. It’s of course the epic tournament I’ve helped cre... [Read more] Nothing to Lose August 13, 2018 at 9:46pm I think I figured it out. It has been pretty damn uncomfortable going to Twin Peaks every day when you are pretty clearly resented. My partner in crime was sent back to the city. They never saw how full of life he was; he was feared by the good ole' boys I work with, but I think I'm just hated. Before he left, I joked with him that it was like in this movie Diggstown . James Woods and Oliver Platt were talking about Bruce Dern and his gang of minions who had a stranglehold on the town. ... [Read more] The Paper Cup July 24, 2018 at 7:05pm Okay, enough of letting the Man get me down. I accept that as long as I'm rising into the street every morning (best Sublime reference you'll get today) to do this crazy job then my head is going to be swimming with bullshit from time to time. That's reality, and on some level I appreciate it, because reality is real. It gives me some things to drawn upon, and that little extra push to keep getting better.
Sometimes it's hard when you're out there in the 'real world,... [Read more] The Deluge July 22, 2018 at 11:26pm I have come here at least four times to make an entry. I've either fallen asleep, have been too disgusted to write, or just plain couldn't get anything out coherently. So I'd like to make this catch-all post to keep it current, and keep it real. Even though I had a great reason for not coming here at first--I wrote a story--I'm afraid of letting this blog slip too far, too long. It's helped my perspective way too much to let that happen.
First things first. It felt great t... [Read more] Red Sky July 3, 2018 at 3:59pm It wasn't a fleeting visit. It was prolonged, and productive, and it held up a mirror to me in real life.
I made good on my vow to write last week, and went to a world with yellow skies, and troubling questions. The planet Lunkia is not filled with courageous people, but maybe there are just enough of them to make a difference.
The story is pretty much mapped out, and a good portion of it is written, too. Time really is a funny thing. I thought this story was only a year 'in devel... [Read more] The Fifth Year June 20, 2018 at 1:47am So many parallels. In June of 2013 I had just been transferred, and about to go on vacation. I'd been riding high since I'd just landed a similar side-writing gig, too, for a comics website, and the fact I'd be working next to a comic book store was going to work out perfectly.
An entry ago I'd just got to Twin Peaks, and found a writing gig. A lot of the faces are familiar between then and now. I'm still working on the same novel. Then, I'd just finished the first dra... [Read more] The Cool Start of June June 14, 2018 at 2:19am May wasn't like this. I'm sure I went from finding boiling hot water bottles in my car to needing a sweatshirt. I don't mind. It's just been like this since January--only every other month is seasonable.
I begin here because June is when I got transferred at work. After five years in the city, I headed a little further West, and I think I wound up in Twin Peaks. It's a culture shock, and will be a real adjustment. There are a lot of 'big stars' (as my siblings and ... [Read more] |