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Wednesday, Apr. 24, 2024

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey of House Lannister

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

July 1, 2022 at 9:27pm

#1034565

Oh are we ranting about health stuff?

"JAFBG" Prompt: Society trains us not to burden others with a litany of our health issues, but sometimes it does you good to vent. So this is your opportunity - complain about all the major and minor health issues you're dealing with. Whether it's Covid19, chronic pain, terminal illness or a hang nail, this is your moment.

JFC... I am so exhausted.

I have had brain fog now for about 5 years straight. It is exceedingly rare at this point for me to approach any situation with a clear, alert mind. From what I can gather, it's some combination of migraines, prior trauma, burnout, and iron deficiency.

An unfortunate part of migraines is that there are 3 stages to them: prodrome, migraine attack, and postdrome. For me, each stage typically lasts 1-3 days and all three stages involve fatigue, brain fog, and an inability to concentrate.

For the math fans, that means even just 2 migraines a month can put my brain into a state of disarray for 6 to 18 days. My neurologist and general doctor are super happy that the amount of migraine attacks I get has reduced over the years, but I still get 3-5 migraines a month so my brain is quite literally always hazy.

It feels like I'm trying to move through molasses.

I can't write at all. I feel like nothing I say makes any sense. When I'm speaking, I lose words all the time and the other person has to help me finish my sentences. My job as an analyst requires a high level of cognitive functioning, which I just don't really possess. I typically fall asleep as soon as I finish working for the day and I wake up a couple hours later confused.

MRI scans of my brain are completely normal. Blood tests are normal except for iron deficient anemia, which I'm taking supplements for and I've increased the iron in my diet as well.

They've basically just said, "Yeah, migraines suck, but a handful per month is normal in migraineurs."

I have other family members who get migraines and aren't as foggy as me, which brings me back to a psychological perspective. I've got a therapist and I've been diagnosed since many years ago with depersonalization/derealization disorder. The therapist is trying to work with me on grounding techniques to make me feel more present, but it's like nothing seems to break through the glass.

I don't feel depressed at all, but I also don't feel any other things either. It's just kind of very disconnected feeling.

But everything around me does seem to be falling apart. Many of the people I know who have never struggled with mental health issues have begun to struggle with those issues in the past few years. I don't really know how to help because I have absolutely zero grip on my own bearings.

I also have a difficult time processing things because of the brain fog. So I'm trying to show empathy and understanding while simultaneously feeling confused and like I can't track the conversation properly.

It's the same with all the news happening around me. Each new piece of information I get takes time to process. I feel incredibly pessimistic about the direction of the country. I'm absolutely baffled by people who do not feel that way. But because of the intense brain fog, I'm also just angry that I have to try to understand what's going on. Which laws are being overturned, how that affects my family and friends depending on where they live.

It's difficult to keep up with everything that's happening, but I also think it's important for people to not stick their heads in the sand. We have a lot of moving pieces underway that will absolutely detrimental for the democracy of the country and I want a heads up on what's next.

It will take me that long to process it anyway.

10 Like • Comment • View 5 comments

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