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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/sumojo/month/8-1-2019
by Sumojo
Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186156
The simplicity of my day to day.
This is where I write my thoughts, feelings and my daily trials, tribulations and happy things
August 26, 2019 at 7:11am
August 26, 2019 at 7:11am
#964746
Week 4 prompt 2 MHWA

I can’t choose between my best two friends, we met at Playgroup when they were with their young children, I was taking my grandchild to playgroup. Therefore they are at least 15 years younger than me. I was in my early forties, they late twenties. The age gap has never been even an issue. That was thirty years ago. We still contact each other all the time, but we don’t actually see each other much. One of the friends lives part time here in Australia, sharing her time between Wales and Australia, but we text each other often and know what is happening in our lives. We’ve laughed and cried together and been there for each other through good times and bad. We actually love each other.
August 26, 2019 at 6:53am
August 26, 2019 at 6:53am
#964744
MHWA Prompt 1 week four.
Friends.
Even as a child I never liked being in a group of friends, being happy with just one best friend. My first bestie was a primary school one, we were inseparable. Then we as a family needed to move away. At high school again just the one best friend, we didn’t need anyone else. After school I met my husband- to-be at aged fifteen and again there were just the two of us. I see this has been a pattern throughout my life. For the last twenty years I’ve broken the pattern and now I have three best friends, ( must be getting better at this) but really I’ve never felt the need for friends, I have heaps of acquaintances though.
I can’t tell you what it is that draws me to people, but I’m very instinctive and tend to go with a gut feeling whether a person is someone is to be trusted or not.
A friend has to have a sense of humour, I can’t stand negativity.
August 25, 2019 at 8:12am
August 25, 2019 at 8:12am
#964694
The weather for a winter’s day was beautiful, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. We were going to go and visit our daughter in the Clinic but she said she didn’t feel up to us going. We didn’t go and have just received a phone call from her. She was crying saying she’d been in her room all day and felt terrible. I should have gone to see her and not taken any notice of what she said.
Anyway nothing to be done now, just annoyed at myself.

Couldn’t believe my eyes when I logged on WdC and saw I’d been awarded first place in the Twisted tales contest, not once but twice! June and July! That cheered me up😊
August 17, 2019 at 6:24am
August 17, 2019 at 6:24am
#964316
Prompt three

Do I think mental health is a choice?
All I know from first hand experience is that no one would ever choose to be mentally ill. My mother had depression and growing up with a sad mother is hard for children, they are often made to feel at fault. I was happy to get married and leave home, it was a relief.
When my youngest daughter was born, she cried constantly, when my mother visited us from England she said that the baby was like her and she proved to be right. The child was a nervous, frightened child and has carried on to be an adult who finds life too hard. She in turn had a daughter who has been diagnosed with a personality disorder and has been a nightmare to deal with for all of her twenty years. So no I don’t think mental health is a choice. To be able to understand a little more I studied counselling, purely for my own benefit. This training has come in very useful with my family. The answer to the question of nature versus nurture is clear to me. My daughter is a twin, her brother has an entirely different personality, yet they were raised in exactly the same way. He is a blessing to his sister, speaks to her everyday, although they live thousands of miles apart.

August 17, 2019 at 5:45am
August 17, 2019 at 5:45am
#964314
MHWA week three prompt one.
There have been quite a few times in my life when I’ve not wanted to get out of bed and face the day. The worst times were when my children were small. The days seemed endless and lonely, no family in a new country. I suppose the reason I still did get out of bed was because I had no choice! How amazing it would have been if someone had said “just go back to sleep, I’ll take care of everything.” Just for one day. However it never happened, and in my worst moments, say when the kids all had gastro, I’d sit amongst the wet sheets, endless crappy nappies and I’d laugh, (maybe a bit maniacally) at how bizarre my life had become.
After that I tried harder to put life’s trials and tribulations in perspective I suppose.
Since then I have made a point of always trying to look on the bright side, if have found if you look for a positive in a situation, you will more often than not, find one. Occasionally a positive is had to find, but time itself has a way of healing most wounds.
Luckily I do have a husband that usually says something to make me smile.
August 8, 2019 at 4:52am
August 8, 2019 at 4:52am
#963890
Prompt two Specific times of difficult communication.
Gee where to start? So may times there must have been when I’d said to myself “ I could have handled that better!”
We’ve all been there, because we were never trained in effectual communication or conflict resolution. That is for today’s generation, we never heard those words or even the concept of ‘conflict resolution.’
I suppose most of those times were when I was bringing up children, how I wish I had the knowledge that is around these days. Most of the time if a kid disobeyed, a clip around the ear would be the way to resolve it. “My way or the highway”
It doesn’t make me feel good about that, and when I see a small child being admonished I think to myself “ they just need a hug”
I tried hard to be a good grandmother and now I’m an even better great grandmother. Of course I’m not the tired young mother of three kids under four any more!
Teenagers are the worst though, I tried to be a good role model and communicator, but I’m not going to beat myself up about the times I wasn’t.
Now I’m really good at getting the best out of people, I’m assertive without being aggressive and try very hard to see everyone’s point of view without giving in to my needs.
August 8, 2019 at 4:39am
August 8, 2019 at 4:39am
#963889
Prompt one for MHWA week two. Reflect on the way you communicate.
I for one hate conflict, I admit that, although having said that I am getting better at stating what I need, or at standing up for myself. It’s pretty sad that it’s taken 75 years to be able to stand up for myself!
My best way to communicate has always been through the written word. Even when my kids were early teenagers I would write them letters. These I would leave in their rooms, explaining why I reacted how I did, or what I expect from them.
I believe letters are way to go. A person can read a letter, throw it away in disgust, then later retrieve said letter and re-read, giving the sender another chance at getting through their meaning when they first wrote the letter. Words said in anger are gone, never to be retrieved, or they are misconstrued or remembered wrongly.
So that is my way of dealing with conflict and also my suggestion for others. A different way of communication..
August 2, 2019 at 1:20am
August 2, 2019 at 1:20am
#963587
MHWA Challenge Prompt one. Have you ever felt you’re missing out in life?
I can’t honestly say that I’ve ever felt I was missing out in life. That must come from a feeling of envy or jealousy when noticing others have something you don’t.
I have always tried to seek satisfaction from what I do have, rather than what I don’t.
Many people I know take long, expensive holidays or have amazing homes that I could never afford, but I try not to feel envious.
FOMO (fear of missing out) is an actual thing now. They even have come up with it’s own acronym! Where does this stem from? Social media is to blame. Everyone’s “friends” post photos of great meals, holidays, experiences, smiling brightly appearing to be happy all the time. This causes FOMO.
Take a breath folks, count your blessings.
I know I may sound a bit Pollyanna like, but as I watch family members suffer from mental health problems, unable to see anything good or worthy in life, makes me, who is in a good mental state appreciate what I have.

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/sumojo/month/8-1-2019