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Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186370
Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool!
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes.

I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore!

I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children.

I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be.

I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone.
May 12, 2019 at 5:45am
May 12, 2019 at 5:45am
#958802
10:30

What does it mean to nurture/be nurtured? Well, the obvious answer that comes to mind is the relationship between a mother and child. Especially a small child. My little boy is just three and of course, he relies on me wholly for his basic needs. I nurture him by feeding him, comforting him when he needs it, keeping him clean, etc. I nurture my kitten (I was thinking of the word "neutered" there!) in that I put his food out for him, clean his litter, wipe his paws if he gets any of his poop on them (what a pain in the ass!) and generally obliging when he wants petting. I also nurture my husband in a way because he's an overgrown baby at times who expects things to be done for him - growing up in a family (and culture!) where the women are all too willing to be at the beck and call of the men will do that to a person, I guess. I try to put him in his place whenever I can *Laugh*

As for whether anyone nurtures me, I don't think so. For me at this point in time, being nurtured suggests somebody being there to support me through thick and thin. It means someone who can listen and someone who can tell me where I'm going wrong. It means someone who's willing to sit out my boring-ass messages about writing and the story ideas I've had. There is no one like that. I suppose no one has the time anymore, if they ever did. Or perhaps it's about having common interests - none of my friends are interested in writing, so whenever I post up a message related to storytelling, I get ignored.

...Okay, I'll stop now. I could go on forever!

That's fourteen minutes.

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2186370-Writing-for-Fun-and-Leisure/day/5-12-2019