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Where Reality Will Byte, if You Aren't Careful What You Read... My Year's Quest. |
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NEW BLOG: "Mind Minutiae"  Click here to SCROLL down to the journal entries.  The Reason for the Season I Seems like I have to know everyone else's job for them just so I can get my business conducted. Bills, utilities and internet providers and cellular companies and GAWD knows medical institutions, offices, and billing departments. Pre-authorizations, exceptions, policies and terms and conditions. Websites, APPS, Apples and Windows. Modems, Network Extenders, cellular upgrades, iPad upgrades, trade-in value redemptions from hell. What is WRONG with peeps today? Why can't they simply DO their jobs? Why do I have to spend an hour in an online chat just to be told to call them instead? Why is it they are doing the opposite of what they say they will? What ever happened to friendliness AND competence, as a two-pronged necessity of employment, anyway? And when a mistake is made, especially an egregious error like dangerous medication being filled at the wrong milligram amount, is it so awkward they cannot issue an apology, just as a token of respect and shame? Not a lot, mind you, but it is professional. Why are they no longer so professional, businesses and institutions? Well. I'm here to tell you that 'nice' doesn't get you all the way through an encounter with an idiot. Or, more often, with an employee more worried about covering their ass than your well being. This is also not a one-off because I have been noting this trend of gross negligence and incompetence all year long. In fact, since I had my complete pulmonary embolism (blood clots in the lung's artery, at least for me the right) in April, 2018, I have been taking copious notes. That's right. I see you. You imbecile. You clock-puncher, only worried about your paycheck and not caring much about a job well done. Where is your integrity? Your inner fire? Do you save it for your band, your friends, or your schoolwork? It isn't exclusive you know—you can spread it around some. Add a little genuineness to that, "Have a good day, ma'am." I always had a good time while working in customer service, and I was competent, as well. Well, I certainly thought so, right. I'm not expecting you to do anything I cannot do myself except for the fact that you umm kinda get paid to do it! So, since April of 2018, I decided to go forth in search of a better quality of life. Whata does that MEAN? It means I was miserable, really, and not for trying to cheer up either. My medical woes have taken over my life and there isn't too much I can do about it. Or is there? Yeah, so I set out on seeing all the doctors I've been meaning to over the years. Updating some scans and tests, as many as I could. I hate seeing new doctors and the specialists are kinda the worst; having to explain in a 'nutshell' forty-seven-years of medical history is not my idea of fun. In fact, I get depressed thinking about it, let alone speaking about it all. It's complicated. Therefore, I'm complicated, right? Or, perhaps I'm just an interesting 'case' the doctors should look at like the puzzle I truly am. Where's the curiosity gone?  T Doctors and more mainstream staff just treat symptoms; they have to really want to figure out a mystery medically speaking, in order to do me any good. I am not normal, never have been, absolutely never will be. Medically, I do wish I were normal, it'd be so much easier... but no. Now I am not going to let you get away with your shit! I am going to call you on it. If you are deemed incompetent, I will do my best to fire you and find another competent person to replace you on my medical team. And I will not apologize for it. I won't be meek, I won't hold my tongue unless I want to, I will speak plainly and bluntly. If you can't handle this patient, that's okay, but all I am asking is for you to do your job. Competently. Yes, even for me, who is "so complicated." It's like marriage vows, you don't agree to be there for your spouse only when the weather's nice out, right? Right. You have to take the good with the bad. And this all applies to my former 'good weather' friends because you know whata? Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes it really, really sucks. It can also be terrific. And this goes for everyone out there, not just me or someone who has medical issues. Nope. This is where I will mostly talk about the sucky stuff, because I need an outlet for it. I need to complain without reproach. I need to write words I might actually never say, but lately I don't know, I just MIGHT. Perhaps, I already have   Adrie's 2nd Blog (The first one is LINKED BELOW (click on the pic) and also where you might go if you want to get to know me—I don't leave much unsaid, I suppose. Mostly.)  I Reside With:  Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. ~Saint Augustine Obligatory Mood TRIBUTE Video: Dedication: This live performance from STAIND is stellar, but then he is always so wonderful live. I've gone through the gamut of music this past week, everything from Disturbed to everything TOOL's ever recorded and quite a few of their live performances as well; from Everclear to Coal Chamber; to Incubus through to System of a Down. Yup. I settled on this song because when I think of my old friend Gus, I think of why and how he ever became referred to as 'Crazy Gus' (and rightfully so). Dude was a hard, hard rocker; we're talking about a guy that went to so many concerts, I doubt he could list them all if he had tried. The fact that he dragged me around to System of a Down, Lollapalooza 1997 to see The Prodigy and TOOL, Everclear at the Hard Rock LA, and geez... so many more venues around Hollywood and bands than I ever remembered before... before his death. He died rather suddenly September 19.   Kicking Ass, Taking Names, One Fool at a Time! |
There were so many things I could have written about my friend Gus, yet I chose the hardest one: his alcoholism. I never quite know why I choose to focus on what I do in my writing, but it's bothered me a lot since hearing of his sudden death at just 54 in September. No one will touch the topic because most of the friends drink too. And I guess because it seems like it's not only a taboo subject, but not the best way to pay tribute to someone. Then again, I have to think he's more enlightened now that he's gone, and as it began on the heels of his mother's drug overdose (labeled a suicide) I think it's important to talk about openly. His alcoholism didn't negate Gus as a person—he was still in there, although less and less obvious was his real self as the years ticked by. I mean, I couldn't live with him anymore, but if you took away the drinking he was a great person to live with! Neat, tidy, great at cooking, shopping, and took pride in his environment. Anyways, the only person I know who's read it so far is my bestie and she said it was obvious how much I cared, and that's one of the most important messages you want in a tribute, so... although why she doesn't just pick a rating without reviewing is beyond me  I think of ratings like calling cards: I was here. I read it. This is the rating that most accurately portrays my feelings on it. Ba da ba bing! People are too afraid to offend. Yeah, that sounds like her, she's a sweetie. Was thinking of putting it on NO RATINGS just emails once it's how I want it to be. Of course, I think it's good as-is, but ya never know what can improve with suggestions! Speaking of, someone's, or some ones, are going around and changing my ratings in my items lately It's kinda funny because I give much thought to my ratings, even on something as simple as a picture. I guess there's a new interpretation of the 'fuck' rule: If you say it once, your 18+ is perfect. If you say it 'multiple' times, it's gotta be a GC Rating. We all know this, the longer you're here you do, at least. HOWEVER if you say it TWICE, well that's considered 'multiple' times now so best change that 18+ to GC. I always thought twice meant 'a couple' of times, but those words aren't used in the "Writing.Com 101" . Now my other item needed the rating changed, that was fine with me, somehow I was born imperfect and missed that lol. Ooopsies. So, if you're wondering why I changed the rating in here when I hardly cuss, it's because I've cussed in 'fucks' more than once  Oh and don't forget the 'murder' rule! If it's in your INTRODUCTION you best make that a 'Non-E' introduction, as I did in my recent "Passive Suicide" I mean, suicide is death, a murder of thyself so to speak, so it only makes sense. I put that rating from 18+ to GC because I just wasn't sure, it seems the consensus is leaning more to the higher ratings these days than in the past. Some of this IS subjective, after all... not the hard and fast rules, but the in-between areas of the rules. Yes I care about this shit! Plenty of other things I could care less about and be slightly rebellious, but if it's a rule it's a rule and I shall follow it! (Please refrain from saying how the rules are made for everyone and it's nothing personal. I am not taking it personally, trust me: then, I'd post formally about it, or complain, or something else annoying. I've moderated on other sites, I 'get it'. No, I do. Seriously. I'm just saying I now have to go through my whole port and see if I cussed in 'fucks' more than once—but less than thrice—in any other items. Yes, I know we are to err on the side of caution and bump up when in question, and I do and I shall continue to do so, but sometimes there's no question to start with. Now, there is. Oh I bumped up my last blog too, should anybody ever go there... But seriously, if I missed it once, I could've missed more items...  .)Bottom line? Count your 'fucks'  Also, don't be afraid to tell Whata whata you think of her items; I mean, if you're gonna go to the lengths of actually reading them, leave a star without speaking (no problems, nice to know you visited!) or your review comments. Whatever. I do not freak out if I get a 3 star rating only from someone, I figure they didn't have the heart or maybe the time to comment more. No biggie. The only problem I ever have with reviews is when I have a humongously long item and someone says, Ahh I saw this error and didn't bother reading the rest, might want to fix that. Which is great, I appreciate the head's up, but how can you assign a rating to something you only read 1% of? And if you KNOW how to fix it, I surely would love to know, too! I'll throw GPs at ya, please, tell me! Chances are I knew it might be an issue but my brain has no clue how to fix it. It doesn't work right. I also don't learn well from reading so yes, your opinions and suggestions for edits really are important to me! Thanks for stopping by  PS: I've had to work with a deadline looming on financial paperwork. PLUS, I re-sorted all my graphics files and reorganized them when the internet wasn't working, offline, then when we came back online they jammed up in a huge traffic jam and it will be another week probably before I have access to them all. They're at 80,000 uploading, which I highly doubt I actually have that many you know, but methinks they count each MOVE and RENAMING of the files and their folders individually, so like, giant ooopsies there! Ah the learning curves in life  PPS: Actual number of graphics images and my writing documents stored in my Dropbox account: 117,000 Oh DEER! There ARE some duplicates for easier finding though as I get the organization down... I'm an image hoarder  |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 2040: November 2, 2019. When did you first know you were truly loved? In 2009, when I listened to the word of God being read from the Bible on a satellite feed on my TV. Then my Pastor, Arnold Murray of Shepherd’s Chapel in Gravette, Arkansas, USA, explaining how He made me because He wanted someone just like me. How He may not love everything I do, but He loves me. All my life I sought approval and love from men, but I longed for more. Always more. Just feeling incomplete. Then I found Him, and recognized finally that I am a part of the collective whole—it wasn’t just about and for everybody who grew up with the bible—His love and His mercy included me. |
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