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 |  Blog and other works of literary sense |
| Here is a collection of ruminations and whatnot. |
| Hi, I went out today w/ Dad and Max the dog. I had a sbux gift card from the hotel I was in on sunday. I ordered something sweetish and then took it back to my Dad's car. The dog was wedged in with my stuff. I knitted a bit while sipping the coffee. I felt drowsiness. Then I prayed that God would take that drowsy feeling away. I'd not even taken my anti-anxiety or calming meds. Now Dad is eating baked junk food. I need to eat too but I'm not that excited about the foods we have. I might still fry an egg or have a sausage patty or not much else. The coffee is dwindling down. Received some mail which I will be reading but I want to have something to eat. Will go round and see what's there. Discovered chocolate milk packets. Weather was very cold. I had my Lularoes and the getup from the weekend or maybe not. I haven't checked but I do know I'm quite clothed. Checking self isn't what I do much now. Some bills but not much else. Dad talking about snacks to eat tomorrow. Grocery run planned for tomorrow as his soc sec chrck will arrive. Mine will be sometime around the 18th of the month. Budgeting looks like I'm over the amount that I will be getting. Phone was lost this weekend but I'm planning on (if God allows) getting another one. I don't know. Did not answer the email from the JCP manager who wanted to interview me today. I think going back to old haunts like those brings up some ghosts that I'd rather not see again. I don't think JCP experience was that good but I had to work to pay some bills and what happened was that I spent money on clothes to wear to the store. I am not sure I'm going to work in a department store. It's not a good place for such as me, who's ultra sensitive. I'd merely set off some unheard alarms. Just talked to some person from Indiana Wesleyan Uni. The man said my app wouldn't be good now as today's the deadline. The letters of references were not good enough for them as they weren't the proper forms they needed from them. So I was told that I could attend May 2020. It wasn't a good idea so I told the man that this app was closed. I don't like the woman who answered me and she was obviously alerted that I was talking to her. She's bad elohim. I think the man I usually talked to there was also a bad elohim. I don't think IWU is any good for anyone who's a follower of Jesus. I also thought I'd try to re-vive my St Mary uni app for the MSW but I didn't get far into that as they seem to also have some bad elohim there who were resisting me from trying to do anything. I will see tomorrow if they can be reached. It's probably too late. Some thoughts tell me to call them today but I don't wish to bring the bad fumes from talking to IWU to them so I'll wait a bit maybe call them in the next few. MIght have to make a scrambled egg with some toast. I have rice from earlier but it's likely not enough nor good. I've been very upset at this MSW from the IWU people who've been like bad elohim. I'm not that into getting another damn degree but it will pass the time and I'll be able to get a decent enough job after I've gotten in but the idea of going into the field work might be daunting some of my thoughts and my husband so I suppose it wasn't something that I should have even thought of but I do want to do some good on this earth but seems that both God and my enemies don't wish it. Please God what do I do with this blockage? I'm very upset. Too sad for words but very mad and unhappy . I don't know why You do this to me why do you do this to me? ONly to get me upset? I hate it. |
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