A collection of thoughts and ideas |
Welcome friend
You have found my collection of ideas and thoughts. Who knows there might even be an article or two hidden in here. |
My world is spinning and I am not sure how but the downward swirl I had been in is hopefully been turned on its backside. I was not doing well emotionally then COVID lockdown started. Really the only thing that kept me going was my work and my son. yet through that I was talking with an old friend I knew was interested in me just did not realizes how much till just recently. it was all in thanks to my brother who showed up one thursday and said here have my rig for a week. I took advantage of the situation and drove 300 miles to give my son a chance to s[end time with his father. I dropped my son off at my exs then drove back home feeling lonely but good that I was giving my son what he asked for. The fallowing weekend I drove back just to get asked if he could stay till his father could drive him back. nervous i said yes. I then took an opportunity to see the one I had been talking with. Easy to say I'm not the only one that had been looking but him being married ment we both were behaving. I don't break up couples and well I could see that h was not into temptation. Yes, back then I was single. The conation i felt was just like old times we walked and talked. I relaxed so much. I had not felt that relaxed in so many years. Right now nearly anything bings him to mind wanting to share or just to be closer to him. |
Well, this past weekend has been an interesting one. Right now my son is with his father so I am a nervous weak about that. Grant it I am told my son is having fun and his messages are saying the same but my kid knows how well i worry so he might be holding back to keep me from worrying. As for me I connect with an old friend that like me right now is free to see who they want. I cannot help but think about him since I had to go home. needless to say we are 300 miles apart right now. but when we are talking it as if he is right there next to me. Hes one of the few people "I have found not stirred away by all I can do. So yeah i just pray this turns out for the best. I'm tired of being alone. Tired of looking over my own shoulder. tired of feeling like the world thinks I need to be alone. I know my great friends here are here and have helped greatly keep me stable. Thank you. |