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I like to think I'm an alien. Because I am one messed up and weird human if I'm human. |
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Yes I know I'm not an actual alien (I think), I just like to think of myself as one. This is a blog about me, my life, and, well, yeah that's pretty much it. Put my blog as a favorite of yours to keep up, because I have no clue how often I'm going to be updating this. Life's pretty busy for me, but I wanted to do this as a sort of therapy for me, and a way to reach out to people in case something I say could give them hope or help with what they're going through. I've been through a lot of crap. Especially for a teenager. I hope you never have to go through the things I have, and if you have, well everything's going to be okay. It will get better. I know it's hard to believe, hell, I find it hard to believe, but it's 97% sure it's true. (the 3% is where we die a horrible death.) I can get a bit morbid, and depressing at times but other times I'm just going on rants or telling you a hilarious random story that's happened and I think you might get a kick out of it. Hope you enjoy or don't enjoy, I could care less, I just find it funny that you're going to read it if you hate what I'm writing, just to tell me you hate it, lol. Feel free to comment or message me about anything I post. Have a good day ya'll -Alex Grimborn |
| Don't mind me, just listening to odd music and making a pet bucket list here for people to comment on. Bucket list: 1. Snake 2. Scorpion 3. Parakeet 4. Spider 5. Raising butterflies/moths 6. Pacman frog 7. CAT 8. Red claw crab ...I feel like I'm forgetting some but oh well. |
| To be real short and sweet, I am renting a storage shed now. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Since I'm saving up for a tiny house, and only (hopefully) have a few months till I get it, I'm starting to collect furniture. My parents hate that and don't support me moving out, and so my dad said, "If you gonna get anymore, you're gonna have to rent a storage shed". So I did. $30 a month, and $20 when I start out. I move in sometime around the first of February. I don't even have a flipping job. AHHHH |
| So in my English class, the module topic is all about fear. That got me thinking-which leads me to getting depressed, (I'm not supposed to be left alone in my thoughts for too long)-about what I was afraid of. I decided to try this coping mechanism out. I'm gonna list out all of my fears here out for the public to read. Judge me as you wish, honestly, I think a little judgement about my fears might help. So, yeah. Here we go. 1. Needles (I can't deal with them) 2. Admitting defeat (I'm stubborn like that) 3. Asking for help (I like to think I can do everything myself and don't need help) 4. Clowns (During the whole 2017 creepy clown thing going around the US, I was stalked by one for almost a year) 5. Being watched (I hate the feeling that someone is looking over my shoulder) 6. Stages (I hate being the center of attention) 7. Large social gatherings (Crowd crushings are more normal than you think..) 8. Suicide (I've tried it twice and it terrifies me that I have.) 9. Being alone (I like being by myself, but being alone is something completely different) 10.Judgment on my choices (I feel as if it is a personal attack when it is done by someone close to me, even though I know it isn't) 11. Confrontation (Whether or not I'm doing it or it;s being done to me. i hate feeling like I can't do something right.) 12. Failure 13. Not being smart enough to people's standards (I'm stubborn that way) 14. Not being good enough for my own standards 15. Losing those close to me (Just because of this I try to limit gaining friends as much as possible, because eveerytime I make one I lose them because of something I did. Intentional or not.) 16. Loneliness. (I've gone through a huge mental battle of depression because I felt all alone in the world and tried to commit suicide because of it) 17. Not being trusted (I feel like if I'm not being trusted that I proved that I couldn't be trusted in some way and that I could have been better) 18. Hurting other people There's so much more, I could go on for ages about my fears, but this is all I'm going to share right now. I just needed to get this out of the way. |
| I would like to move out. Of course, you would probably expect this from a teenager. But I have different reasoning and plans than a normal teenager. For one me and my parents have a little more disagreements than just that I think their rules suck. The reasons are... pretty personal so I won't get into them here but if you want to know just email me, I guess. I'm pretty much an open book. But here was my previous plan. Like two weeks ago was when it changed. Some numbers smacked me in the face pretty hard when my BJJ coach got a friend of hers who is an attorney to tell me how much Emancipation costs. You see, I want to become a legal adult before the age of 18. Of course, when I started to ask my questions about this subject I got so much different feedback. Some gave advice, some tried to talk me out of it, others I lost my "responsible" reputation with, and others I gained more brownie points in maturity. I've gotten lots of great tips and I know how I could survive out there on my own. The only problem is earning a steady income and saving enough money to become emancipated. How much does it cost to become emancipated, you may ask?... About 3,000-4,000 dollars. Lord save me. Why is that so expensive? Well, filing fees are about 350-400. Then you have the actual emancipation part: 2,000ish. And THEN if your parents/guardians aren't on board with the idea you need an attorney. That's, like, 1,000. So, I would need all of that; and I would have to make it all myself. Any tips on how to make money? I've tried so many things and still am trying so I'm really up for anything. |
| So, I know most people will be like "Oh blogging is such a good way to releive some bottled up emotions and stress." And while I wholeheartedly agree, if I do that I will end up bawling in the living room in front of the computer while I forget how to spell words. So, I'ma just stick to bottling up those emotions, and screaming until I explode. Anyways: Since I beleive ya'll are interested in what I said in my last post about Magical Creatures and such I'm gonna let you into a bit of my past, and a lot of my present. But let me just say you can choose to beleive it, and you can choose not to. Doesn't really matter to me. I just want to get it out there and into the world to people that the world isn't all that you think it is. The government is hiding loads of shit, and there's life around you that you can't even see. All of this also ties into my religion and what I beleive. So I feel pretty passionate about this stuff. Don't forget, either, that I'm an open-minded-open-book. You can ask me anything, and give me opinions about what you think and I don't get easily offended. I'm curious to what other people think about what I see and beleive. But to get into it, basically I've experienced some wierd crap. Some would call it paranormal, some would call it hallucinations, some would call it the shifting of another realm or dimension, and some would call it something completely different. It could be a lot of things. I think it's somewhere in the middle. So, firstly I've had a Poltergeist. This thing followed me around for about 2 years, when I was 13 and 14 years old. So not that long ago. Now, here's the thing, Poltergeists are normally associated with a place, not a person. Which is the wierd part, because during those two years I had moved three different times into completely different towns and places. He even followed me whenever I went to a family memeber's house. Now, most times this thing wouldn't do much. Push a book off a shelf in my room, turn the hot water off when someone was in the shower, and things like that. Though he has done some more dangerous stuff. In the middle of the night I was up reading and the bookshelf across from my bed suddenly fell right next to my bed. It wasn't a wobbly shelf either. Other times he threw toys across the room at me or my siblings. A cieling fan was unscrewed in the living room and almost fell on me too. After it being around for a year or so I was less afriad and more annoyed. I named it Fred. I tried telling other people about Fred, but of course, I had no way to prove that he was real in the moment I was explaining it to someone. Another time I was at my grandmother's house. My family had gone out to do some groceries and I decided to stay home with the three dogs who normally went bonkers whenever someone left the house or even said the word "Bye". (We call it the B word) So just to give you a little context about where I was: I was in the living room, and the living room opened up into a kitchen bar and then to the left was the dining room, all three room opened up with each other. Another thing, the couch was the only thing that separated the living room from the kitchen area. So I sat in a large chair against the wall, watching a cooking show with the dogs, two sitting with me, one on the couch. All was quiet, and I decided to get a snack. Well you know those toy mower things? The ones that make the balls pop up in the clear bottom part? Yeah, well my grandma had one of those and it was next to the chair I sat in with a both of other toys. But when I stood up to go to the kitchen that toy I just explained to you appeared midair behind the couch, just in my range of vision, and fell to the ground. Loudly. The dogs, of course, went crazy. I walked over to see what had fallen, just to be sure. And, hell, it was the toy that had only been next to me a moment ago. I went back over to the chair to look if was still there and it was. Now there were two! I decided against leaving the living room. Honestly, by the time that had happened I had forgetten about Fred. That was the last thing I assiosiated with Fred. Thankfully, though, I have not seen, herd, or experienced anything that told me he's still following me around. So, yeah. I've got more sotries if ya'll interested. I'll try to post more. - Alex Grimborn |
| Alright, what I'm might write about is what I believe to be fully true and really happened. You can choose not to believe me or not, I don't care, but this is my view. I've seen some weird crap. Things have been following me my whole life since I was five. I'm talking about things that are supposed to be fiction. Dragons, sirens, and things I can't even begin to try to explain. This, of course, led to me getting into the whole "fantasy fiction" genre, mainly because of some of the things, I HAVE seen. (And good plot of course) I might go into more detail later on, detailing some stories, but explaining all of it in one blog post? Yeah, I can't do that. Too long. I might even decide not to even do it, I don't know. Leave a comment of something if you have any opinions on this. I'm pretty open-minded but know this: I'm stubborn and I know what I saw. Have a good day ya'll - Alex Grimborn |
| Okay, just a short entry because I need to go back to studying Driver's Ed, but here's a funny story that just happened. So, as I said I'm studying, and I'm blasting my music in my headphones like anyone whose paying really close attention to their class. I'm lip singing to the song really passionately, using my hands and everything, feeling as if I could be the next lip singing Michael Jackson or something. And I'm hoping that my sister, whose sleeping on the couch in the same room as me doesn't wake up to my music. So, I look over because I wanted to know if she was still asleep and I see my puppy. Staring. At me. I think she's officially started to question me being her parent. - Alex Grimborn |
| As the title says, this is just going to be a little bit about me to give you some background. How about we start with my hobbies and whatnot? As it is a bit obvious since I am on this site, I love writing; I also like drawing, though the only thing I can draw good are HTTYD style dragons, and I also enjoy school. "WOW" you may say to that. Yes, I like school. Yes, I am a teenager who likes school. Yes, I know I'm weird. Anyways, speaking of education I'm planning on attending Duel Enrollment for two years during school, and then attending a community college for either a Psychology or Creative Writing degree. Afterward going to MIT, for a Conservative Architect degree. I am part of the LGBTQ+ community, as I am Pansexual (I like everyone, based on their personality), Genderfluid Nonbinary (I change genders, but am mostly on the Nonbinary side), and Polyamorous (I can fall in love, or like, more than one person at once, and date more than one person at once.). You can message or comment if you have any questions about that, I'm pretty open to any questions, I don't get offended by many things in this topic often. Unless you're homophobic, or transphobic. If you are either screw off and get your stupid self away from me. I am Wiccan, I believe in many gods, but don't worship any of them, but respect them. You can ask me questions about this too, just a fair warning though: I'm still fairly new to my religion, so I'm still trying to figure things out so I'm not going to have an answer to everything. I also have several mental disorders. I have PANDAS, which is a rare children's mental disorder, which I got from an untreated Strep throat infection at age 13. (So, technically I shouldn't even been able to get it, but I did.) This has contributed to giving me Severe Anxiety, Severe Depression, Social Anxiety, OCD, and ADD. This has caused many problems for me, including a few suicide attempts, and self-harm over the last couple of years. I try my hardest every day to keep going, and it's only because of a few wonderful people in my life I'm still here. I also have an Emotional Support dog, who right now is a puppy who thinks I am her personal dog bone. Her name is Ashoka, and my other dog, who is practically my child, is Chloe. I also have several fish and a rabbit. So, yeah, a little bit about me! I don't really know how I should finish this so I'ma just say to have a great day ya'll. - Alex Grimborn |
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), but it isn't always enough. Sometimes a kind word of acceptance and validation from someone helps.