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 |   A place for me to share my thoughts and bare my heart: Not for the easily offended. |
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Snow covered the world around me as though God himself had decided to his erase his own creation. I felt a weight in my heart, a deep sadness. I sighed into the chilly December morning, my breath like smoke as it clung to the air before me. The world felt blank, empty. As the snow began to melt and colors peeked from below the thick blanket of white, I began to feel lighter. I had been given a sign. I knew, staring at the stark whiteness of snow that clung to the ground, that this was Mother Nature's way of cleansing herself, of allowing herself a fresh, new start. It was a metaphor for my own life, Mother Nature in infinite wisdom had given the maternal advice that I needed. It was time for me, too, to start anew. With a clean, blank slate, I smiled. Life was about to begin... December 23, 2009. The above is how I feel right now and what I've experienced over the last few days. This is my new beginning and this blog, though old, will follow me through this journey as I rebuild my life from this clean slate.
 ,Stephanie Grace |
| Last night, I typed up a nice little letter to the Governor of New Jersey, Mr. John Corzine who has proposed the most preposterous ideas in his time in office and who is now proposing ideas that will leave even more people without homes and money in this state. Given, I'm not a big fan of this state, I still LIVE here and it's MY state! lol. Phrase of the Day: Corzine should have died in the car accident he was in. Please understand that I NEVER wish death on anyone but what this man is proposing will making any hope of a happy life that I, or other Jerseyans, have completely impossible. If his "plans" take effect, I'm better off dead than struggling here for happiness. (Don't take it as depression or sadness or anger: It's reality.) ,Stephanie Grace |
| I love WDC, but here goes: GRRRRRRRRRRRR... ARGGHHH.... I don't have the freakin' ink to print everything and I want my port CLEARED OUT. I get reviews and I actually feel animosity toward the reviewer! I want HONESTY, number one, and, number TWO, I want room for me to write new things.... I'm am just being pissy right now... But this is 'No Stress Oh 9' so I don't care! lol.... I just want ink! lol... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Or Hello? Let's see waiit to see tomorrow. |
Inspired By: "Invalid Item"  by A Guest Visitor Challenge Prompt: “Nothing can add more power to your life than concentrating all your energies on a limited set of targets.” -- Nido Qubein The 80/20 rule says that on a list of 10 tasks, only 2 of those tasks will return 80% of the value of the entire list. Look at your ‘to do’ list for today. Which tasks are directly related to what you most want in life? Find the 2 high value items on your list and tackle them first. These tasks are the ones that really move us forward. My to-do list does not vary much from day to day, but, each day, I try to make sure that at least one or two things are for myself. This, however, is not an easy task to complete. If I may, I would like to take you through the journey of my normal day --this is my daily "to do" list. At 6:55, my cell phone (which is usually beneath my pillow) begins screaming "Shout at the Devil" by Motley Crue. Groggily, I slide my LG Chocolate open, squint, and press "okay" on Snooze. Five minutes later, it shouts at me again, and, this time, I force myself to slide it open, go to "Disable" and press okay before dialing my niece's cell phone number. The normal conversation: Me: Are you awake? Bree: Yeah. Me: Okay. Call me if Steven doesn't wake up. Bree: Okay. Me: Bye. Love you. Bree: Love you too. I then go gently back to sleep. (Unless I have to call Steven, my nephew, a few minutes after 7 because I haven't gotten in touch with Breeanna or Breeanna is staying home from school... then I get to deal with A LOT more whining from Breeanna, a conversation with my sister, another whiny minute or two from Bree, and then a few minutes of bitching from Steven. Not fun.) For the next 2 1/2-3 hours I get the best sleep that I get at any point. This is when I sprawl out on the king size bed (usually kicking at least one dog in the process), and drift into a deep sleep. 9:30/10:00 comes far too quickly, but I wake up feeling well rested. This time, I roll over, press the power button on my computer, and put on my glasses so that the world becomes more than a blur. I do a quick look at my e-mail inbox, possibly read one or two e-mails, then get up, go downstairs, smoke a cigarette while reading a few pages of whatever book I'm reading, and then it's shower time. (I'll spare you the details, lol). By 11:20, I'm dressed, have a quick snack, and I'm out the door to pick up my neighbor's five-year-old daughter. I drive to her school, get her, and come back. At this point, I either bring her to her Dad next door, or go into my house, grab my book and soda, then go bext door to give her lunch. By 12:20, I'm back here, checking e-mail a little more carefully and starting my "shift" of rewarding reviewers for Simply Positive. (Not to mention my obligatory watching of "Millionaire" with my Father. That's a must everyday!). By 1:40/1:45, I'm on the road again. (Which, by the way, would be much more pleasant if my driver's side door would unlock!!!). On that trip, I drive to pick my cousin's husband up from work and bring him to their house. This is also the time when I usually stop to play my father's lottery numbers. When I get back, it's a quick catch-up on rewards for Simply Positive reviews, and then back next door to sit the five-year-old down and do workbooks with her to improve her math and writing skills. Lately, her father gets home between 3:30 and 4:30, but that's changing now... Anywho, he gets home and I get to come back here, finish with e-mails and rewards (until 7) and TRY TRY TRY to get in some reviews. Add to all of that, the laundry that must be done AT LEAST 2-3 days a week, dinner, a turtle tank (THANK GOD I got a new filter today so I can stop having to change the tank every few days...), shopping, and general chores... Let's not even think about days when a child is sick or unscheduled early dismissals, snow days, days off, or days when my friend asks me to pick up her daughter between 4-6P and keep her until 11:30P. All in all, I fight for little silences and bits of sanity on a day-to-day basis. (Weekends are for more chores, Simply Positive, and just plain recooperation! lol). So, what do I do for myself??? What's my 80/20??? WDC is a BIG one; finding time for WDC and Simply Positive is the number one. Not only is it my home away from home where I have found my second-family, but it helps me to gain sanity and improve my writing... Which leads me to number two... Writing. I make SURE I find time for writing and reading each day! When? Easy... Every cigarette break breaks down to about 4 or 5 reading pages or 1/2-1 page written. Cigarette breaks are also when I make phone calls. It's A LOT calmer than it used to be for me, but not exactly the way I always pictured my life. But, 80/20, right? As long as writing is on that 80 side, then, maybe, just maybe, someday I will be able to have that life; that life that allows me more time for writing, reading, and enjoying things more... Living for others less, and yet being able to do for them more. Well, as always, thank you for listening to me. I can't even tell you how good it feels to get all that out. lol. (By the way, it has taken me over four hours to write this due to breaks for everything. lol) ((HUGS)) Stephanie GRace |
| It's time for a Reviewers' Revolution!! It's time for manners to return to reviewing! To those of you that I have reviewed, I've scratched your back, and now mine is itchin' like crazy...
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| R.I.P --what more can I say for all that has been lost? |
| Well, while I'm being run ragged offline due to the holiday season, I have decided that I am going to find time to dedicate to WDC. I AM BACK! Or, at least, I will be.... First, I need sleep... lol... (And then, Project Catch Up shall commence....) I love you all... Sapphire |
| My mind, it seems, has been working overtime as of late. It seems that is so filled with thought that the simple things elude me. 2 + 2 still equals 22, right? I have been feeling funny; going from feeling ill to feeling as though I am on a cloud. No, this is not a depression-thing. It is, for lack of a better term, a health thing, I think. Will I go to a doctor? No --and I will not be made to against my will! I know that I am fine and healthy; there are symptoms for a doctor to note, so what can be done? It is not horrible. It is weariness, mainly and, I'm sure, strange eating habits! (If I could learn to make a plate and eat it in one sitting, perhaps I wouldn't have a problem! lol... BUt, no, make the plate, shove it in the microwave and I'll have a bite here and there --at room temperature, as I like it.) Why am I rambling about this? To get it out of my head. It seems that no one quite understands my take on doctors: I am not afraid of them, I just hate them --A hate that I did not even feel after being raped! It is a hate pitted inside of me so deep that I refuse to fight it. Doctors have done as much damage to my life as they ever will! Never again will I be told about my body by a man who knows how to do nothing but spit memorized phrases from text books. (Besides, how many doctors type the symptoms into WebMD.com and then spit it back to their patient? I can do that myself, Thank you!). I know that I am ranting... I need to!  Put simply, though, this hate of doctors stems from my mistrust of them. And, I am one of those people that does not give a second chance at trust --Once you have gained my trust, if you lose it, it is gone forever. I have given several doctors chances and, well, it has never worked. I refuse to try again... I will not be hurt by doctors or told about my body by someone other than myself! (We'll deticate that comment to that stupid [enter several curses here] woman doctor that wanted to give me an antibiotic for a lump I had had for seven years in my throat... Seven years, I told her... and she asked if I had an earache!!! I should've smacked her right then; And when I had to suggest the possibility of a thyroid condition --which it was, by the way, doesn't that prove the lack of knowledge that one person can have about another's body? She was paid to figure things out. Why should I have to do her job? I said thyroid and requested blood work. She agreed. Talk about role reversal!! I hope hear throbs with ringing as I write this, I hope it throbs so hard it bleeds!). I am working myself up for nothing and, still, I have not written the thoughts that I had in mind when I came to edit this blog. Alright, it is time for a cigarette break. I will be back later with the thoughts I wanted to get out of my head! lol... Sapphire |
| I take what I have for granted, I suppose. I mean, I try to appreciate what I have and live each day with happiness. I try to stay grounded and find the beauty around me. Sometimes, however, life gets in the way of that. I forget to stop and smell the roses. I forget about the world outside of my front door. And, more than anything, I forget to be happy and do all that I can to maintain that happiness. And then... Life throws a reminder my way that there is still goodness in this world; that there is more to my life than what I see. Sometimes, it takes an angel; a beautiful person like butterfly388 or kiyasama to remind me of these simple things and the goodness that still exists within the hearts of people. Other times, it is just a simple thing. I simple $5 winning scratch-off, a simple good rating, a simple glimpse of my dogs or cat or turtle. Happiness and beauty are all around me. And I am thankful that my life throws reminders my way so that I do not forget that such things exist. Without these reminders, I would forget why I wake up each morning; Thank you, all of you, and thank you, Life, for your reminders. Thank you, Sapphire |
| Since I haven't used this 'blog' in ages, I decided to use it to hold my 'To Do List' so that I can keep of track of the reviews I still need to complete, etc... *If you are reading this and should be on this list, please just e-mail me. Sapphire To Review List "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Ordination" by KimChi  "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Blessed Be" by KimChi "A Delicious Deception (WDC Testimonial)" by KimChi Review Number 10 for KimChi  Review for winter from hoosiermomma "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "After 5" by Starr* Rathburn "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Sullen Dirge" by Jaeramee of the Free Folk  "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor Well.... I better get started... |
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